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Agent Cody Banks Page #3
My workload's insane.
- This mission depends on you.
- I know, but...
Come on. Tonight I had to do
two chapters of trigonometry.
not to mention my chores.
- Of course, if I had a little help...
- I can't believe this.
All right... The agency will take care
of your chores and your homework.
You focus on the girl.
Teams A and B commence
domestic sanitation.
Team three, I need a new sponge. Repeat,
need a new sponge, over.
You missed a spot.
Negative, negative.
Stand by, flannel only...
this one or this one?
- I like this myself.
- Good choice.
We have dust bunnies
on the second floor.
...to develop a secret weapon.
I'm gonna transmit images now.
This is Dr. Brinkman,
head of E.R.I.S., and this...
Franois Molay, his henchman.
- Get out of the house!
- What? They're here?
They shouldn't be here for another hour.
- I don't know...
- Come on. Move, move.
- Move it, get out of there.
- Get that thing out of there.
Right there, let's go.
Wait! Wait, wait, wait...
You will wait for me!
Wow, what are they teaching
the kid at that new school?
Oh, my God, look at this.
Holy sh...
I know it's your dream
to play for the Sonics
but if that falls through,
you'd make somebody a good janitor.
Well, you told me to do my chores.
Honey, we are very impressed.
Here's five bucks.
- Thanks, Mom.
- Yeah.
I'm gonna go take Marvin for a walk.
- Your homework to your satisfaction?
- Yeah.
Your room is nice and tidy?
- Guinea pig cage is clean?
- Yeah.
Well, I think we've done our part.
Now you do yours. Call Natalie.
In here?
Hurry.
I'll do it in my room.
He pooped twice.
- That wasn't me.
- I don't smell anything.
Get out! Everybody out!
Hello, Natalie. Guess who.
Hey, pretty lady. What's goin' on?
Dude. Natalie. How are you doing?
Hi, Natalie, it's Cody.
I was wondering
what you were doing this Saturday.
Hello?
Who is this?
This mission is screwed.
We spent $10million training this kid
and we did not teach him
how to talk to a girl?
Sir, I assure you, we had no idea.
- You're shy?
- Cody's a little delicate.
My mother's ceramic cat
collection is delicate.
- This is national security!
- I'm sorry.
On the training program
you bragged about having lots of girls.
It was camp. I exaggerated.
Everyone does.
...to Quad Seven. Agent Raymond...
OK, so...
What is the truth?
When it comes to girls, I suck.
You met my dad. Well, I'm his son.
Ladies and gentlemen,
somebody has got to teach this kid
how to talk to a girl!
I understand you're having a problem,
so I've assembled a team of experts
here to help you along
from the point of contact
to the point of closure.
You got to close.
Any species is predicated upon mating.
Males and females must couple
or the animal will surely die off.
- I'm just trying to get a date.
- This is how the hyena does it...
- See this thing here?
- There's a lot of laughing involved.
It makes you wanna give the good Lord
a standing ovation.
You gotta let her know she looks fresh. Pay
her compliments.
Be smart. Get some dirt on her, eh?
They use both sides of their brain
at once-emotion and intellect.
- Check out previous boyfriends.
- Pick her up, don't be late.
- It's a bad way to start off a first date.
- My grandfather used to say,
"Women are like cow chips, the older they
get the easier they are to pick up."
Let's take a few deep breaths
as we turn to the relationship pyramid...
Forget all that,
you gotta be stern, commanding.
- He's dead now.
- Shower before seeing the girl.
No, no, you wanna be dank, dusky
and musky. She's got to smell you.
My father was married 100 years or so.
You gotta smell like a savage beast!
Pull the ring in the back of his neck
and he goes, "My fault!"
- Like a wild animal, the cheetah...
- Excuse me.
If you find yourself in a difficult position,
hang on, fight it out!
Hole up, get your energy back
for the final push!
Think like a hyena, be a hyena.
In the fog of war, it's the one who wants it
the most who wins.
And I don't think you want it the most.
I think you are a pathetic loser.
I think you're a disgrace.
How are you gonna hold your head up
high when you walk down Main Street?
- Straighten up when I talk to you.
- Thank you, General.
I'm sorry this had to happen.
This one's gonna be good.
Don't say I never did nothing for you.
Look at that.
Hey, Cody.
Come over here.
I'm free tonight, what shall we do?
Kid can't even talk
to a simulated woman.
Maybe I should've started him out
at a more intermediate level.
Wait, no, it's a little uneven.
A little... Up more on the right.
Are you OK?
Where did you come from?
I transferred from Jefferson High.
This will help. It'll make you feel better.
Could you hold this, please?
Nurse Hatchett
to the football field, please.
I'll be right back, OK?
You think it's broken?
- Definitely not.
- So, you're a doctor now?
Just experienced. I've broken my leg,
wrist, a couple of fingers...
- Let me guess, driving accident?
- Summer camp.
You know, one of those try and survive the
wilderness places. It's crazy.
I've only be to one summer camp -
for gymnastics.
They never told me you took gymnastics.
Who's they?
OK, that's it. I have to do something.
Sorry.
So, you do gymnastics. That's awesome.
Thank you for your help...
You know, you make
a really bad first impression,
and a terrible second impression
but the third time?
- It's really good.
- You gotta see my fourth.
I'd like that.
Listen, it's kind of short notice but...
I'm having a party this weekend and...
- I'd love to!
- Great.
Hello, I'm substituting for Miss Hatchett,
are you all right?
Yes, I'm fine,
I just need to go back to class.
- Glad this young man saved you?
- We don't need any help, Nurse.
I see here that your birthday
is coming up.
That's none of your business, "Nurse".
I'm gonna go.
Are you having a party? You should invite
Cody. Did you invite him?
- Yes, I did.
- You did?
Cody, I'll see you on Sunday.
The theme is Las Vegas.
All right, see you there.
Not a word. Not a word.
Be friendly but keep a low profile,
you're not there to socialize.
E.R.I.S. may have inserted agents -
casino dealers, catering staff.
Anyone is suspect.
And remember -
these are dangerous men.
They'll think nothing of harming you.
So use caution.
First floor of the house is a public area,
Down on the beach
is Connors' personal lab.
If you forget anything, the entire floor plan
is stored in your phone.
We'll only be a couple of blocks away.
Hold still.
Sorry. Ready?
Yeah. Let's go.
Why don't you take it?
- You did get him his license?
- Yeah.
Here he comes.
He's at the gate.
- Name?
- Banks. Cody Banks.
- You got some ID, Banks?
- You mean my driver's license?
Yeah.
There were no guns at my birthday party.
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"Agent Cody Banks" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 25 Jul 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/agent_cody_banks_2338>.
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