Agent Cody Banks Page #3

All those AP classes.

My workload's insane.

- This mission depends on you.

- I know, but...

Come on. Tonight I had to do

two chapters of trigonometry.

Plus an essay on Henry V,

not to mention my chores.

- Of course, if I had a little help...

- I can't believe this.

All right... The agency will take care

of your chores and your homework.

You focus on the girl.

Teams A and B commence

domestic sanitation.

Team three, I need a new sponge. Repeat,

need a new sponge, over.

You missed a spot.

Negative, negative.

Stand by, flannel only...

Which one would you prefer -

this one or this one?

- I like this myself.

- Good choice.

We have dust bunnies

on the second floor.

...to develop a secret weapon.

I'm gonna transmit images now.

This is Dr. Brinkman,

head of E.R.I.S., and this...

Franois Molay, his henchman.

- Get out of the house!

- What? They're here?

They shouldn't be here for another hour.

- I don't know...

- Come on. Move, move.

- Move it, get out of there.

- Get that thing out of there.

Right there, let's go.

Wait! Wait, wait, wait...

You will wait for me!

Wow, what are they teaching

the kid at that new school?

Oh, my God, look at this.

Holy sh...

I know it's your dream

to play for the Sonics

but if that falls through,

you'd make somebody a good janitor.

Well, you told me to do my chores.

Honey, we are very impressed.

Here's five bucks.

- Thanks, Mom.

- Yeah.

I'm gonna go take Marvin for a walk.

- Your homework to your satisfaction?

- Yeah.

Your room is nice and tidy?

- Guinea pig cage is clean?

- Yeah.

Well, I think we've done our part.

Now you do yours. Call Natalie.

In here?

Hurry.

I'll do it in my room.

He pooped twice.

- That wasn't me.

- I don't smell anything.

Get out! Everybody out!

Hello, Natalie. Guess who.

Hey, pretty lady. What's goin' on?

Dude. Natalie. How are you doing?

Hi, Natalie, it's Cody.

I was wondering

what you were doing this Saturday.

Hello?

Who is this?

This mission is screwed.

We spent $10million training this kid

and we did not teach him

how to talk to a girl?

Sir, I assure you, we had no idea.

- You're shy?

- Cody's a little delicate.

My mother's ceramic cat

collection is delicate.

- This is national security!

- I'm sorry.

On the training program

you bragged about having lots of girls.

It was camp. I exaggerated.

Everyone does.

...to Quad Seven. Agent Raymond...

OK, so...

What is the truth?

When it comes to girls, I suck.

You met my dad. Well, I'm his son.

Ladies and gentlemen,

somebody has got to teach this kid

how to talk to a girl!

I understand you're having a problem,

so I've assembled a team of experts

here to help you along

from the point of contact

to the point of closure.

You got to close.

Any species is predicated upon mating.

Males and females must couple

or the animal will surely die off.

- I'm just trying to get a date.

- This is how the hyena does it...

- See this thing here?

- There's a lot of laughing involved.

It makes you wanna give the good Lord

a standing ovation.

You gotta let her know she looks fresh. Pay

her compliments.

Be smart. Get some dirt on her, eh?

They use both sides of their brain

at once-emotion and intellect.

- Check out previous boyfriends.

- Pick her up, don't be late.

- It's a bad way to start off a first date.

- My grandfather used to say,

"Women are like cow chips, the older they

get the easier they are to pick up."

Let's take a few deep breaths

as we turn to the relationship pyramid...

Forget all that,

you gotta be stern, commanding.

- He's dead now.

- Shower before seeing the girl.

No, no, you wanna be dank, dusky

and musky. She's got to smell you.

My father was married 100 years or so.

You gotta smell like a savage beast!

Pull the ring in the back of his neck

and he goes, "My fault!"

- Like a wild animal, the cheetah...

- Excuse me.

If you find yourself in a difficult position,

hang on, fight it out!

Hole up, get your energy back

for the final push!

Think like a hyena, be a hyena.

In the fog of war, it's the one who wants it

the most who wins.

And I don't think you want it the most.

I think you are a pathetic loser.

I think you're a disgrace.

How are you gonna hold your head up

high when you walk down Main Street?

- Straighten up when I talk to you.

- Thank you, General.

I'm sorry this had to happen.

This one's gonna be good.

Don't say I never did nothing for you.

Look at that.

Hey, Cody.

Come over here.

I'm free tonight, what shall we do?

Kid can't even talk

to a simulated woman.

Maybe I should've started him out

at a more intermediate level.

Wait, no, it's a little uneven.

A little... Up more on the right.

Are you OK?

Where did you come from?

I transferred from Jefferson High.

This will help. It'll make you feel better.

Could you hold this, please?

Nurse Hatchett

to the football field, please.

I'll be right back, OK?

You think it's broken?

- Definitely not.

- So, you're a doctor now?

Just experienced. I've broken my leg,

wrist, a couple of fingers...

- Let me guess, driving accident?

- Summer camp.

You know, one of those try and survive the

wilderness places. It's crazy.

I've only be to one summer camp -

for gymnastics.

They never told me you took gymnastics.

Who's they?

OK, that's it. I have to do something.

Sorry.

So, you do gymnastics. That's awesome.

Thank you for your help...

You know, you make

a really bad first impression,

and a terrible second impression

but the third time?

- It's really good.

- You gotta see my fourth.

I'd like that.

Listen, it's kind of short notice but...

I'm having a party this weekend and...

- I'd love to!

- Great.

Hello, I'm substituting for Miss Hatchett,

are you all right?

Yes, I'm fine,

I just need to go back to class.

- Glad this young man saved you?

- We don't need any help, Nurse.

I see here that your birthday

is coming up.

That's none of your business, "Nurse".

I'm gonna go.

Are you having a party? You should invite

Cody. Did you invite him?

- Yes, I did.

- You did?

Cody, I'll see you on Sunday.

The theme is Las Vegas.

All right, see you there.

Not a word. Not a word.

Be friendly but keep a low profile,

you're not there to socialize.

E.R.I.S. may have inserted agents -

casino dealers, catering staff.

Anyone is suspect.

And remember -

these are dangerous men.

They'll think nothing of harming you.

So use caution.

First floor of the house is a public area,

second floor is living space.

Down on the beach

is Connors' personal lab.

If you forget anything, the entire floor plan

is stored in your phone.

We'll only be a couple of blocks away.

Hold still.

That really freaks me out.

Sorry. Ready?

Yeah. Let's go.

Why don't you take it?

- You did get him his license?

- Yeah.

Here he comes.

He's at the gate.

- Name?

- Banks. Cody Banks.

- You got some ID, Banks?

- You mean my driver's license?

Yeah.

There were no guns at my birthday party.

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