Agents of Secret Stuff

I know what you are thinking.

This looks bad.

but I assure you,

I have everything under control.

Okay, maybe not.

Ugh, such a dirty shoe.

First things first.

I am not your average teenager.

I never get to grow up with a family with bikes and candy.

My family was an international network of killers.

I bike with a Falcon Recon 23X,

and the closest thing I ever got to candy was...

Well, I did get a lolipop once...

But that is not the point!

as long as remember, I've been trained to become an A.S.S.,

an Agent of Secret Stuff.

For 17 years I've been trained along side with one of the coolest, boldest, most heartless killer of all the A.S.S.es,

Tracy.

- It's a man's name...!

3 months ago, on the final day of my training,

Tracy brought me in front of a panel,

the highest ranked A.S.S.es.

I am talking top quality A.S.S.

- Aiden, for the past 17 years you have been like a son to me.

We've been on missions around the world,

prevented various global disasters and saved countless lives.

And now, it is time to become an official Agent of Secret Stuff.

But, before I give you your Honorary Operative License Entitlement,

your H.O.L.E.,

you have one more assignment you must complete.

- But... Sir! With all due respect, I devoted my life to training.

- You will follow orders!

- But... But why! I already did all the hard stuff.

- We are A.S.S.es!

We do not complain when things get too hard.

We push on through, and we take it.

- But you said...

- Enough!

Please, tell Aiden his assignment.

- Aiden, we need you for a special assignment that only you can execute!

The Society Involving Not-so-good Stuff, a.k.a. the S.I.N.S.,

they have been our mortal enemies for decades.

And now, they have found a new target,

Taylor Rentrol, a high school senior.

We need an agent on the inside.

We believe that the S.I.N.S. have already infiltrated the school with assassins of their own!

Your mission is to pose as a high school student and protect Taylor from impending threats!

- But... why are they after Taylor?

- That will be revealed in a later time,

in like, 30 minutes?

We have already made preparations for your enrollment,

a spot has been made available in all of Taylor's classes.

She must not know that she is in danger!

This is a new world for you!

High school students are the most dangerous and misunderstood citizens that you will ever come across!

You must operate cautiously.

- I will not fail.

- Cool, peace out.

- Oh yea, come here.

Guys, I need your attention just for one second.

Hey!

Shut up. We have a new student.

His name is um... Jose McDonald.

Yea, obviously.

Why don't you say Hi, Jose.

Right on man, you're gonna fit in perfectly.

Why don't you take a seat in front of Bieber there.

You guys open your book to Chapter 14.

- Hey, I'm Taylor, Can I help you with something?

- Hola, I'm "Joezy".

- Isn't it pronounced as "Jose"?

- Is that what you want it to be?

So it's gonna be like our code word for "danger"?

- What are you talking about?...

- You know, I'll be "Jose", you'll be "Jose-B".

- Are you okay?

- Taylor, zip it up and shut your face hole.

These kids are trying to learn.

- Thanks a lot.

- You're welcome.

- Hey Taylor, can I borrow your pencil sharpener?

- Yea sure, Melvin.

Suspect will acquire a pencil sharpening tool to convert the writer's thing into a weapon

by inserting the yellow thing into the green thing, the dull thing will turn into a sharp thing.

He will then proceed to jump behind his target while she is pre-occupied,

and apply a fatal impend weapon into her jugular artery!

- There you go.

- Give the sharpener back.

- What's your problem?

- What do you take me for, a fresh--man?

Give the sharpener back.

- Jose, what are you doing?

- Fine, Jeez.

- What was that all about Jose?

- Don't worry, I got you. "Jose-B".

- Alright, class, that's it.

Remember, Chapter 15! Read it... or not, it's your future.

Oh by the way, pop quiz next week! You guys know the drill.

Oh, Taylor, I'll need to speak with you after class, if you have a moment.

Good work today, guys. I was kidding.

Remember these days, kids. You will miss them.

See you tomorrow!

Hey, Taylor, I want to talk to you about the... the homecoming dance.

I know it is kinda a thing that you are planning with the student council.

But we do have a lot of volunteering that is coming up, you know,

make sure you still have time to do that.

- No, definitely, it should be fine.

We are almost done planning.

- Okay alright, I trust you. You're not like the other bastards in this class.

You're the good one.

- Thanks, I appreciate it. Is that it?

- Alright I'll see you later. - Bye.

- Don't you ever do that again.

- Excuse me?

- I said, don't you ever do that again.

Keeping Taylor in the room alone is not safe.

- Oh yea, I forgot, you are right.

I didn't know what I was thinking otherwise I'll... Who the hell are you?

- Well, I am the new kid remember?

You just introduced me.

- Get the hell out of my class!

- I am glad that we had this talk.

- Hey there, son.

I am glad that I found you.

I hope you are enjoying your first day of school so far.

I just wanted to give you your new locker assignment.

Actually, you are quite lucky, a new one just opened up the other day.

- Oh, hey!

Wow, your locker is next to mine.

I wonder where Billy went.

- Yea, strange huh, Ha ha ha ha...

- Well if we gonna see each other this much,

why don't we just start over.

Hi, Jose, I'm Taylor, nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you too.

- It's called a handshake, Jose.

You're so silly, it's like you've never made a friend before.

- "You will follow orders!" - "Ahhh..."

- Hey Taylor!

- Oh hey, what's up, how are you?

- I'm good. Did you finish that paper in English?

- No, not yet, it is due soon? In two days...

Suspect from across the hall is examining the target, his eyes indicate he is aiming for the most exposed and vital area, her chest.

Only 3 steps away from pumping her with barrages of bullet punches straight to her rib cages that will no doubt stop her heart forever for life!

- What are you looking at?!

- Bye Jose!

- Bye!

- I said, what were you looking at?

- Chill out, Man, I'm just checking out Taylor's rack, she is looking especially hot today.

- Her rack?

- Yea, man, her knockers.

- So you were trying to knock her!

- No, man, I am talking about her b*obs!

- You know, these things?

- Oh, okay then, as long as you were not looking at that rib cage.

You stay the hell away from that rib cage!

- Bryson! New guy!

- I'm gonna destroy you!

Your face is gonna be so ugly when I am done with your face, cause... it's kinda handsome right now.

Ah.....!

- I wasn't ready! I want a rematch!

Target is greatly outnumbered by opposition, each of them possesses some sort of netted-stick weapon.

Surrounded and unaware, she is vulnerable to attacks from all directions!

- Jose? Where did you come from?

- You almost took a shuttle cock to the face.

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