Air America Page #2

When you go to France, you have

General DeGaulle carry luggage?

Rob, the bag.

I'll take that, sir. Your jacket?

Thank you.

Lighten up on the stick.

We're gonna land.

Land? Where?

I'll show you.

Oh, come on.

That's not a strip, it's a mountain.

Full flap, 3 cranks.

Please don't do this.

That was great. How was it for you?

There're people in the jungle!

Don't, I know them.

Who are they?

Friends of my wife.

Little one's my brother in law

with a business proposition.

Don't do that.

Six crates of weapons.

I'll make you a good offer.

The Russians air dropped them

for the Pathet Lao.

We stole 'em. Brand new.

I'll give you 400 kips.

400? You want a slingshot?

800 kips!

600, and it's a deal.

Brother in laws are the same all over.

He's ripping me off...

Deal!

You use my orientation flight

for some private scam?

Welcome to the orient.

This is my retirement plan!

I've been flying fifteen years and

want my chunk of the American dream.

Running guns?

OK, this is the hard part.

I noticed, no radar.

Right, just dead reckoning.

I can handle it.

Good.

Gene, sit down. Check this out!

Pretty good, huh?

OK, we almost hit that at 3700

feet. Any higher peaks than that?

At 3700 feet! Any higher

peaks around here?

Yeah.

I need green.

Don't use mine.

We gotta get on a new

safety height, OK?

Hey, I was going for that one!

You did that on purpose.

Last time you colored the sky pink.

Are we south or east of

the Atlantic here?

South or east?

South or east?

East! Don't bother me!

Stay on your side!

It's my coloring book.

If you want to color

you have to be nice to me.

Hey, Senator

let us show you the real Laos!

Sir, he's getting out.

Senator, wait!

Those pilots are drunk.

Not just drunk

they're drunk Americans.

Hey, fellas!

Pitchin' a little woo, are ya?

Don't be embarrassed.

I may look like an old fart

but before I found the lord, I partook

of wine, women, and song, too.

But seriously, even though you won't

get any medals, or be in history books

some of us in Washington know exactly

what you're doing for the war effort.

Could you explain it to us?

It's just as heavy as Vietnam.

No!

Never compare the two.

Vietnam is for n*ggers and no necks.

Sorry

it's the Mai Tai talking.

This is a gentleman's war

a thinking man's war.

Hello.

Corinne Landreaux

this is Billy Covington.

She helps our Asian brothers

in the hills. Thanks.

Hey, I kid, because I care.

You know what the whole problem

with the Vietnam war is?

It's too public.

A secret war is the way to go.

No reporters, no TV

You blackout the war

like a football game.

And y'know what?

We can't lose.

Can I ask you one thing?

Is it a kinky turn on for you

to bring her to a whorehouse with you?

This is not just a whorehouse.

Men talk business here.

I was just getting used to

this being a war.

Who told you

they were two different things?

Rob, I need you outside.

And clear headed!

Worried, Rob?

I wonder what the Pepsi people

would think if they knew.

Don't you ever wonder?

No.

I wonder how many pilots

already know about his place.

Heroin good, very good.

You want to try?

With all due respect

I'm not here for a taste test.

I'm here to ask you again

to shut this lab down

just while the Senator is here.

Why you not tell baggage man

Senator to go home? Kick out!

I wish it were that simple.

In a civilized country like yours

it would be.

But in this case, it's easier

to shut down this lab.

Then you and me be poor

and cannot pay for war.

If we don't sell heroin

no money to feed my soldiers.

No, Major.

Better we stay good friends.

You take care of silly

suitcase man OK?

Of course, General.

As always, you are right.

Something wrong?

I was always the weirdest guy in the

room. Here I'm not in the running.

You can be as weird as anyone here.

It just takes a little time.

I feel like I'm on

a roller coaster of bar girls

strange squiggly signs

weird vehicles and

more bar girls, and Mai Tais and

what am I doing here?

I ask myself that all the time.

Why am I here?

Why am I here?

A taste of the States, feel better?

Yeah, everything's back to normal now.

Good.

Nice silencer.

I am a very considerate person.

If I want to shoot lizards at night

on my miniature golf course

no reason to keep the neighbors awake.

You follow me?

Yeah, at a distance.

You're all right... f***in' punk.

Jack's the only man you ever met

with his own miniature golf course.

Why don't you open this place up

and charge admission?

You guys can do that when I'm gone.

You guys get it in my will.

Oh, sh*t. Please!

Jack's got a point:

The old timers don't get a pension.

Each pilot has to work out

his own retirement scam.

Gino, how's your guns and ammo shop?

Building up inventory?

You ever gonna sell?

Never make a move too soon.

I got a foolproof plan.

I'll take my money...

...and fly a Coppertone banner

over Coney Island

and tell war stories in bars.

"The golden BB's coming up

to Neely now..."

Why you do that?

Why the f***?

Hey, professionalism.

How often do you guys

go on a bender like this?

Bender?

This is just nighttime.

O.V.!

Wake Billy!

I gotta bring him to work.

Wake up, junior! Wake up!

It's OK. He likes to fly.

Good morning!

Crazy Americans!

Gene.

Morning, Rob. Morning.

Pick up Senator Davenport

at the Vientiane airport

and take him up to the

refugee camp at Bien Luc.

Lips zipped about this airbase.

If he's dying for local action

just dazzle him with bullshit.

We got nothing else

to dazzle him with.

See ya!

Gene!

Don't f*** around with the Senator.

What do you mean?

He's on a need to know basis.

The mushroom treatment: Keep him

in the dark and feed him on sh*t.

What's he doing to your plane?

He's purifying it.

It's a Buddhist ritual.

Gene, is there

a secret air base around here?

Which air base, sir?

I feel I'm being

kept out of the loop.

What do I know.

I'm just a luggage boy.

General, stop pouting.

I apologized.

I should be carrying your luggage.

That's how much the US government

values your support.

I hear that the USA finish war

and leave Southeast Asia.

Without suitcase.

General

if things get too hairy for us

politically, we have to bug out

and bring you with us.

We take care of our buddies.

You take care of sh*t!

We've made general Ky in Vietnam

a very generous offer.

I know Marshal Ky.

He's small time.

After war he want to be in America

liquor store owner.

I not going from being warlord

to liquor store owner!

Tell the Senator

what you really want, General.

Come on, don't be shy.

Holiday Inn. Southern California.

Owner and operator.

That could be difficult.

You find all this funny?

Very. But, hell, Senator

If you can't laugh at war

what's the use of fighting?

You've got a good point!

What's that tin horn general

doing in my camp?

Corinne, this is Senator Davenport.

Welcome, Senator.

Corinne Landreaux from US Aid.

May I show you around?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes