Air America Page #4

No, man.

We gotta, we're sniper bait.

Who goes first?

There's no fast rule

about crashing through the cockpit.

You go first.

I don't want to go first!

I'll go. I don't want to go 2nd!

We'll toss a coin.

Call!

Tails.

Is that heads? Is that tails?

Tails.

Heads.

That's tails. I'll check.

Come on!

It's pretty soft.

I hate going second.

Well that fall

seemed to go pretty well.

We should get moving.

Can you walk?

Walk?

We're in the goddamned jungle!

Give me voice. Gene. Billy.

Come in, Gene, Billy.

Do you read me?

Gene and Billy, where are you?

Billy and Gene, do you read me?

I stole some stuff as a kid.

Whiffle balls, model airplanes.

I used a fake I D to drink

smoked some reefers.

I performed oral sex

where it's against the law.

But until I worked for my own

government, I never smuggled drugs.

We're not smugglers

just pack mules.

No one wins war here without

control of the opium trade.

We help Soong get his crop to market.

He helps us fight the war.

Don't give me

that cooled out Buddhist sh*t!

Our government is running a war

with drug money

and our GI's are getting

strung out in Vietnam!

You might as well throw rattlesnakes

in the schoolyard!

This doesn't bother your soul?

Leave my soul out of this.

We don't work officially for the

US government.

Everybody knows.

What happens if you say CIA?

Let's change course. Maybe

we'll be outta here by morning.

How many more miles?

When the sales rep from

Bell Helicopters gets here

go easy on him, not like that

a**hole from Dow Chemicals.

Nice and easy. Bring him here

vintage wine

blah blah blah, elegant dining

get him blown at the White Rose

brandy, espresso. Then just

hit him up for the two free choppers.

I'm a little nervous about it.

Buona sera, signore.

I have heard about

the pilots shooted down.

I hope they safe. I pray for them.

Thank you. Every prayer helps.

I have to have coffee with Davenport.

What should I do?

I'll take him to the White Rose.

I'll get him blown.

No.

No. What?

Davenport runs

the Senate prayer group.

With him, you don't

bring up the subject of blow jobs.

You let him bring it up.

Jesus!

Again?

Restaurant closed!

Health violation.

All go home now!

Everybody go now!!

I do business with round eyes

all my life!

But I don't let a

Corsican f*** me!

You crazy?

I pick up opium myself!

In bad danger!

Your men

don't want to pay same same last time!

No more break this china!

Understand?

Now I tell you something.

I talk to Marseilles.

I talk to New York.

They say Opium not so good this year.

Been cut with baking powder.

So who f***ing who?

No, I no gonna pay you same same.

You give me sh*t!

Nino. You listen to me.

You pay same same

or you never use my planes again.

OK, pay same same.

So this is

the face of modern Communism?

Wrong. A devout Communist

carries an AK 47

they have the

oldest weapons known to man.

These are hillbillies.

And they're pissed.

They don't cotton to outsiders.

What're they saying?

I'm surprised

they haven't killed us yet.

Surprised?

How come you're so relaxed?

Don't you get it? When you die

that's it! Blackness.

They stick you in a box

in the ground.

Don't even let you

out on weekends. Depressing.

Right. Nothing.

Buddha says...

Stop it!

A real Buddhist

wouldn't be running guns.

You're a hustler. Call it

Religion, but you're a hustler.

I never said

I was a good Buddhist.

They're gonna do it.

You don't need to speed things up!

Those guns are all wrong

for the rainy conditions.

You need all weather weapons.

Your guns were made in France

for the desert warfare.

I hope you didn't pay

more than two pigs for it.

A cow.

Yeah, I know.

A cow?

For a stupid musket?

You got taken!

D'ya hear?

A cow for this gun!

Isn't that hysterical?

Ever shot it in the rain?

I reckon.

For all weather guns

at great prices.

We should go to my brother in law.

He lives

two days walk from here.

What do you think?

Gentlemen, these guns are cherry.

Deal.

Hello? Mei ling?

I missed you!

Oh, I couldn't tell.

This is my wife.

Come in to civilization

and get cleaned up!

You don't look like a guy

who'd live in a place like this.

Looks'll fool you every time.

What the f*** are you doing here?

Do you believe in this war?

I used to believe in all these wars.

I had a theory once.

The politics of Saturday night.

I rated all countries on how good

their Saturday nights were.

I knew that Moscow and Peking

were a stone drag on Saturday.

So I was flying for a cause.

To defend barbecues

and weenie roasts

and Ray Charles songs and

Southern Comfort 'till you pass out.

The politics of Saturday night.

I can relate.

Not bad is it?

But not particularly true.

I hear they party hard in Moscow.

Don't give up a good theory

just because it's not true.

So why don't you go home?

Look at me, Neely, the rest.

We're trouble junkies.

Nothing but adrenaline gets us off.

It's kinda sick.

Quit before you pick up the habit.

And you will!

Go back to LA and be

the weirdest guy in the room again.

I gotta take care of something first.

You wanna get even?

With who? Rob? Soong?

Forget it! This is the orient.

What Soong did to you was nothing!

I've seen things here

that I never could have imagined.

And I have a broad imagination.

Why don't you just go home.

This is one of the most famous

temples in Laos.

I've been here four days.

I've seen 19 Buddhas

3 tailors, a silk factory

and you haven't told me

one new thing about the dope trade.

I'm leaving soon and

I'm not going back empty handed.

I need heads on a platter

or the rumors will get you

on the hill. What rumors?

You heard the man, Rob.

Heads on a platter.

Is that Paul Bunyan's condom?

That's the point of the drop.

Penis size is very

important to Asian people.

If we can convince them that

American men use this jumbo size

their men will start to fear us.

Dismissed. One more thing, guys.

Jack Neely's body

was recovered last night.

He was shot down by the Pathet Lao

while looking for Covington and Ryack.

I understand how you must feel

but in the interest of security

you must be quiet about it.

Before you keep us quiet again

could we have a moment of silence?

"Visit colorful native village"

reads my schedule, Gene.

But we've been here 6 hours.

I think we can say I've seen it.

They're nearly finished.

What is that, Gene? A boat?

Sort of.

You a strange man, Gene.

Thank you for noticing, General.

You love old ways.

Asian ways.

General Soong love

tomorrow ways. Modern world.

Our friend here's a little tipsy.

He's high on America.

I've seen it before.

It's stronger than whisky.

Bigger than opium.

He's stoned on

dreams of the USA.

Gene, you just mentioned opium.

Now, tell me

let the chips fall where they may.

Was Jack Neely flying dope

when he went down?

Let's take this to the plane.

You're taking that kayak with you?

This is Jack Neely's coffin.

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