Airplane!

FADE IN:

EXT. SKY - JUST ABOVE CLOUDS - NIGHT

OMINOUS, THREATENING MUSIC. The upper tail fin of a jet

plane emerges through the cloud layer and PASSES THROUGH the

FRAME like a shark's fin through water. It passes by again

in the opposite direction. MUSIC BUILDS as the fin comes

straight TOWARD the CAMERA, MUSIC SWELLS to CRESCENDO as

entire jet plane lifts out of clouds and passes overhead.

TITLE SLASHES ACROSS SCREEN, "AIRPLANE!"

CREDITS and MUSIC continue over following.

EXT. AIRPORT - NIGHT (STOCK)

ESTABLISHING terminal building.

EXT. TERMINAL BUILDING - PASSENGER LOADING ZONE - NIGHT

Airport bus arrives. Stewardess ELAINE DICKINSON steps off.

CAMERA FOLLOWS Elaine as she walks to terminal building.

P.A. SYSTEM (female v.o.)

The white zone is for immediate loading

and unloading of passengers only. There is

no stopping in the red zone.

P.A. SYSTEM (male v.o.)

The red zone is for immediate loading and

unloading of passengers. There is no

stopping in the white zone.

P.A. SYSTEM (female v.o.)

No. The white zone is for loading and

unloading, and there is no stopping in the

red zone.

P.A. SYSTEM (male v.o.)

The red zone has always been for loading

and unloading, and there is never stopping

in a white zone.

P.A. SYSTEM (female v.o.)

Don't tell me which zone is for stopping

and which zone is for loading.

P.A. SYSTEM (male v.o.)

Listen, Betty. Don't start up with your

white zone sh*t again!

Elaine enters terminal building.

INT. TERMINAL BUILDING - NIGHT

Elaine is approached by a religious ZEALOT #1.

ZEALOT #1

Hello, we'd like you to have this flower

from the Religious Consciousness Church.

ELAINE:

No, but thank you very much.

Arrival-Departure TV monitors. Elaine approaches.

ELAINE'S POV - TV MONITORS

Reads:
Flight 209 to Chicago - Depart Gate 89 - 7:25 p.m.

Arrival monitor is goldfish swimming.

BACK TO ELAINE:

She checks her watch and walks past Security Check area.

CAMERA STAYS with a middle-aged couple, SHIRLEY and JACK,

waiting to pass through Security Check. Behind them is sign

reading:
WARNING, HIJACKING IS A FEDERAL OFFENSE, etc.

SHIRLEY:

Jack, isn't that Fred Bliffert over there

in the blue turtleneck? Maybe he's on our

flight to Chicago.

JACK:

Yeah, I think he is.

(waves)

Hey, Fred!

FRED recognizes Jack.

FRED:

(yelling)

Hi, Jack!!!

A swarm of police and airport security men descend on Fred

and take him away.

EXT. AIRPORT - PASSENGER LOADING ZONE - NIGHT

A limousine arrives. Two colorfully dressed BLACK DUDES

emerge. An extra pesters them. Two HARE KRISHNA'S arrive on

foot and walk toward terminal.

P.A. SYSTEM (female v.o.)

There's just no stopping in the white

zone.

P.A. SYSTEM (male v.o.)

Christ, you're as bad as your mother!

P.A. SYSTEM (female v.o.)

Oh, really, Vernon! Why pretend? We both

know perfectly well what it is you're

talking about. You want me to have an

abortion.

P.A. SYSTEM (male v.o.)

It's really the only sensible thing to do.

If it's done properly, therapeutically,

there's no danger involved.

P.A. SYSTEM (female v.o.)

Have you considered that what's inside me

is a human being; that it's alive. We made

love. It's us -- you and me.

P.A. SYSTER (male v.o.)

That isn't true. A fetus at this stage is

not a human being, nor is it a person.

Krishnas enter terminal building.

INT. TERMINAL BUILDING - NIGHT

The Krishnas are approached by the Religious Zealot.

ZEALOT #2

Hello, we'd like you to have this flower

from the Church of Consciousness. Would

you like to make a donation?

KRISHNA:

(shakes his head)

No, we gave at the office.

INT. TERMINAL BUILDING - NIGHT

A voluptuous BLONDE saunters through the airport, clears her

throat loudly, and spits on the wall.

She walks past an ELDERLY WOMAN standing outside a men's

room door. She turns and sticks her head in the door.

ELDERLY WOMAN:

Go, O.J., go!!

INT. SECURITY CHECK AREA - NIGHT

SECURITY CHECK LADY is watching X-ray scanner. First picture

is typically filled suitcase, then another, then a chest X-

ray.

A man passes through metal detector archway and it BEEPS.

SECURITY LADY:

Please put your metal objects on this

tray.

He puts his watch, keys on the tray. Then removes his metal

arm and metal leg.

EXT. TERMINAL BUILDING - PASSENGER LOADING AREA - NIGHT

MR. and MRS. HAMMEN and their eight year old son, JOEY,

arrive in a station wagon. They unload luggage.

P.A. SYSTEM (male v.o.)

The red zone is for immediate loading and

unloading of passengers only. There is no

stopping in the white zone.

P.A. System Female v.o. weeping.

P. A. SYSTEM (male v.o.)

The red zone is for...Betty, put down that

gun!

SHOTS and GROAN.

P.A. SYSTEM (female v.o.)

The white zone is for immediate loading

and unloading of passengers only. There is

no stopping in the red zone.

The Hammens walk toward terminal past a BUSINESSMAN.

BUSINESSMAN:

Taxi!

A taxi cab skids to a stop in front of him. The Businessman

gets in as the driver, TED STRIKER, drops the flag and

rushes out.

STRIKER:

Back in a minute.

INT. TERMINAL BUILDING - BAGGAGE PICKUP AREA - NIGHT

Striker enters, looking around as if searching for someone.

People are rolling down the conveyor belt of a baggage

carousel, banging into each other like luggage. The luggage

is standing around the conveyor belt, waiting for the people

to come off.

INT. TERMINAL BUILDING - ANOTHER AREA - NIGHT

Striker, walking briskly, is approached by Zealot #3 who

tries to pin a flower on his jacket. Striker keeps walking

but the Zealot is persistent. Finally, Striker slips out of

his jacket leaving the Zealot with the coat.

P.A. SYSTEM (v.o.)

Your attention, please. Flight seven-

thirty-three from Milwaukee is now

arriving on the B Concourse, Gate thirty-

five.

EXT. RUNWAY - NIGHT

Flight 733 taxis toward gate. A GROUND CREWMAN with red

flashlights is directing plane to his right. A SECOND

GROUND CREWMAN approaches as First Ground Crewman continues

to direct plane to his right.

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