Airplane II: The Sequel Page #25

INT. ALPHA BETA COMMUNCATIONS ROOM

TED (V.O.)

A bobby pin.

Kramer and Aids exchange a look which questions Ted's

sexuality.

KRAMER:

What the hell is a man doing with a...

forget it.

(on radio)

It'll have to do, Striker.

INT. COCKPIT

Ted sticks the bobby pin into the wires. Sparks fly. The

ship starts slowing up.

SFX:
THE ENGINE WHINE SUBSIDES.

INSERT - SPEEDOMETER WINDING DOWN

BACK TO SCENE:

TED:

It's working.

INT. COMMUNICATIONS ROOM

Kramer stands in front of the huge screen. A small ship

appears in the distance coming right at us.

KRAMER:

(on radio)

Okay, Striker. We have you on visual.

Just keep her level.

EXT. SHIP - SPACE

It careens towards the planet surface.

INT. COCKPIT

It starts bouncing wildly.

TED:

She's coming apart!

INT. CABIN

Passengers scream.

INT. NEWS SET - BUFFALO

The anchorman screams.

SUPER:
"EDITORIAL".

INT. NEWS SET - TOKYO

The anchorman screams.

SUPER:
"EDITORIAL". (In Russian looking print.)

INT. HOTEL LOBBY - RIO MONTENEGRO

The desk clerk screams.

INT. COCKPIT

KRAMER (V.O.)

Keep her nose up! Don't fight her!

TED:

I'm trying but she's fighting me!

A boxing glove springs from the dash punching Ted in the

face.

ELAINE:

Ted, that's Alpha Beta!

ANGLE OUT SHIP WINDOW - NIGHT

We see the lights of a small colony on planet surface. The

Alpha Beta neon sign is visible.

INT. ALPHA BETA COMMUNICATIONS ROOM

Kramer sits in a large swivel chair -- like Captain Kirk's

on the Enterprise bridge. As he talks, he nonchalantly

swivels so his back is to the huge window. We see the

Mayflower approaching on the screen.

KRAMER:

(on radio)

Now, Striker, there are a few things you

have to keep in mind as you get close to

the planet's atmosphere.

ANGLE ON COMMUNCATION ROOM PERSONNEL

They watch in horror as the Mayflower comes shooting at

them.

KRAMER:

(on radio)

First and foremost you have to make one

very important decision.

INT. COCKPIT

Elaine looks out the window -- horrified.

ELAINE:

Ted! We're not stopping!!

Ted fights the controls.

KRAMER (V.O.)

Is this a landing you're sure you can make

without endangering the lives of your

passengers?

INT. ALPHA BETA COMMUNICATIONS ROOM

ANGLE ON PERSONNEL

They run for cover.

ANGLE ON THE SCREEN

The Mayflower comes right at the screen and crashes through

it. Kramer still has his back to the screen and doesn't

notice what has happened -- the room behind him has been

totally demolished.

KRAMER:

(on radio)

Now, once you've made that decision you

have to be very clear about your

responsibility to those people on that

ship.

INT. COCKPIT

The front window is broken. Ted and Elaine are covered in

debris. Elaine's eyes grow wide with terror again.

ELAINE:

Ted!

EXT. PLANET SURFACE

A group of scientists stand at a keyboard synthesizer. One

plays the series of notes from CLOSE ENCOUNTERS. Suddenly

the Mayflower appears over a hill. They all jump for cover

as it crashes through the synthesizer.

INT. COCKPIT

Ted and Elaine are covered in piano keys.

KRAMER (V.O.)

Their lives, their futures, their goals

and aspirations are in your hands,

Striker.

EXT. PLANET SURFACE

The Mayflower bounces across the surface.

INT. CABIN

Mary maneuvers down the aisle. Passengers are screaming and

being tossed around.

MARY:

(to one passenger)

Seat backs up. Thank you.

She looks up and sees feet dangling from the ceiling. A man

has gone right through the ceiling up to his waist.

MARY:

(looking up)

Sir, you really must take your seat.

INT. ALPHA BETA COMMUNCATIONS ROOM

KRAMER:

(on radio)

We're all with you on this one, Striker.

Now get ready to position landing gear,

cut engines, and fire your retro­rockets.

EXT. PLANET SURFACE - DAWN

The Mayflower careens to a smoking, crunching, shattering

stop.

INT. CABIN

Mary and Testa start directing panic-striken passengers to

the exits.

INT. ALPHA BETA COMMUNICATIONS ROOM

KRAMER:

(on radio)

Timing's of the essence on a lame duck

approach, Striker. Don't fight her. Hold

her steady. Nose up.

EXT. SHIP ON A HILL - DAWN

Ted and Elaine stand looking down on the wreckage. In b.g.,

SIRENS WAIL, emergency lights flash across Ted and Elaine.

VOICES (O.S.)

You'll be all right! Everyone's going to

be okay!

Ted holds Elaine.

KRAMER (V.O.)

Don't fight her, Striker. Hold her! Hold

her! Stay with her, Striker!

Ted and Elaine kiss.

KRAMER (V.O.)

Now, hit your landing gear and cut those

engines!

INT. ALPHA BETA COMMUNICATIONS ROOM

KRAMER:

(on radio)

Timing's everything, Striker! Fire your

retro-rockets!

EXT. PLANET SURFACE - DAWN

Ted and Elaine walk off into the distance.

SFX:
SIRENS FROM CRASH AREA IN DISTANCE.

KRAMER (V.O.)

(voice fading)

Now give her full flap and keep that nose

up. Okay, now!

ELAINE:

Ted, what's going to happen to us?

Ted stops and looks into the distant, dark sky. A printed

crawl begins:

MUSIC:
OPTIMISTIC THEME

CRAWL:

FAR, FAR AWAY IN THE DEEPEST REGIONS OF

OUR VAST SOLAR SYSTEM, A SMALL, BRAVE

GROUP OF PIONEERS EMBARK ON A BOLD NEW

ADVENTURE. THEIR MISSION: TO OPEN UP A

NEW FRONTIER. THEIR GOAL, TO BUILD A

BRAVE NEW WORLD.

Ted and Elaine walk towards crawl and are approached by two

strange CREATURES -- bald with a shock of hair sprouting

from the top of their heads.

CREATURE:

Hello, we'd like you to have this flower.

We're with the Church of Mercurial

Consciousness. Would you like to make a

donation?

THE END:

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