Airport Page #3

and broken dishes

you'd better move this thing.

Keep digging.

Another pilot comes up with an idea

like that, hand him a shovel.

Yes, Peter?

Mrs. Livingston, I've got that stowaway

that mr. Miller told you about.

Bring him in.

Hello, I'm mrs. Ada Quonsett.

I'm mrs. Livingston. Pleased to...

I mean, won't you... Sit down.

Thank you, my dear.

It was a long walk from that gate.

We've got a little talking to do.

I think you'd better lock that door.

I see you've done this sort

of thing before.

Yes, my dear.

But it's against the law.

Why do you do it?

You see, I'm a widow, and I have

a married daughter in New York.

Sometimes I get lonely for her

and for the grandchildren.

So I go to the airport in Los Angeles

and get on a plane that's

going to New York.

And then I'm ready to go home,

it's, well, vice versa.

Just like that, without a ticket?

My dear, I couldn't possibly

afford a ticket.

I just have my Social Security

and this small pension

that my late husband left me.

Have you ever been a stowaway

on any other airline?

Yes. But I like Trans Global the best.

Well, it's nice to meet

a satisfied customer.

How about Patroni?

Highway Patrol's bringing him in.

How long before he'll be here?

Half an hour.

Good. Now I'll have that sandwich.

I'm starving. I haven't eaten

since about...

I'm sorry, I...

No, no. Don't go away.

I'd like you to meet mrs. Quonsett.

The stowaway

I was talking about before.

This is mr. Bakersfeld, general manager

of the airport.

How do you do?

It's a pleasure to meet

someone so important.

I'm pleased to meet you, ma'am.

Don't go. Come, sit with us.

Have a cup of coffee and a sandwich.

Perhaps mr. Bakersfeld could impress

upon mrs. Quonsett

that this isn't

a very nice thing to do.

Mrs. Livingston hasn't been able to.

Yes, mrs. Quonsett.

What you've done is dishonest.

You've broken the law.

You've defrauded Trans Global.

Don't you realize

they can prosecute you?

But they wouldn't, would they?

I don't think it'd be very good

public relations

for a big airline to prosecute

a little old lady

just because she wanted

to visit her daughter.

- May I have one?

- Well, sure.

I didn't eat much on the plane.

The beef was a little too well done

and the salad dressing

had garlic in it.

I think you should tell them, my dear

that very often,

elderly people can't tolerate garlic.

Gives them gas.

Well, I'll certainly mention it

to our chef.

Thank you.

Not at all.

Now look, mrs. Quonsett

since you've had so much

free travel from Trans Global

the least you could do is tell us

how you get aboard our flights.

Well, my dear, I use many methods.

But mostly, I like to be

in the airport early enough

to get me a boarding pass.

But our boarding passes

are ticket folders.

Yes, I know.

I go to a counter

and tell them I've lost mine

and may I please have another one.

I always pick a counter

where the clerks are busy

and lots of people are waiting.

They always give me one.

But it's just a blank folder.

It isn't made out as a gate pass.

I do that myself in the ladies' room.

I know from experience

just what to write.

I carry one of these big black pencils

like the airlines use in my purse.

See? Yes, I do.

I'll keep that, if you don't mind.

Well, it's really mine.

But if you want it,

I suppose I can get another one.

So now you have a boarding pass,

mrs. Quonsett. What then?

Well, then I go to the departure gate.

Coffee? No, thank you.

I wait till the young man

checking tickets there is busy

and then I walk past him

and onto the plane.

Do you hear that, mr. Coakley?

And no one stops you,

not even the stewardesses?

If you get on late enough,

they're hanging up coats, you know

and talking to the men.

I just show them

my folder quickly, you see.

I'll keep that, too.

But I'm sure you don't always use

a boarding pass.

No.

Sometimes I tell them

that my son has gone aboard

but he dropped his wallet.

I carry a man's wallet in my hand...

That works best of all.

I must say, mrs. Quonsett,

you have everything

figured out very carefully.

My late husband taught me

to be thorough.

He was a teacher of geometry.

He always said:

"You must consider every angle."

My late husband was a lawyer,

and he always said:

"Watch out for sweet-looking,

innocent little old ladies."

I'm beginning to understand

what he meant.

So you're a widow, too.

I'm sorry, my dear.

But you're young and attractive,

and I'm sure...

Let's confine the conversation to you,

mrs. Quonsett.

We're sending you back to Los Angeles

on the next flight.

Yes, my dear. I was afraid of that.

Well, I would like a cup of tea first.

So I'll go now and you can tell me

when you want me back.

No, you're not going anywhere alone.

Mrs. Quonsett will be on Flight 103

and stick with her every second

until departure time.

- Don't let her out of your sight.

- Yes, ma'am.

She'll need a ticket.

Yes. That'll be a change, won't it?

I'll make out an order.

May I please have my tea now?

Yes, you may.

Where are you going?

Can't I have it

in the Commander's Club?

No, that's for members only.

But I have a card.

This card says "Mrs. Henry Jackson".

Gertrude's a friend of mine.

She lets me use it when I'm traveling.

Well, we'll send it back to Gertrude

with a very strong letter.

We'll go this way, mrs. Quonsett.

Goodbye.

Goodbye, ma'am.

You've been very nice.

Thank you.

I don't believe it.

I just don't believe it.

And you were a big help,

giving her that VIP treatment

deference, courtesy, sandwiches.

I'm surprised you didn't break open

a bottle of champagne.

If there'd been one around,

I would have.

She deserves it.

She's fabulous.

She just sat there laughing at us.

Take it easy.

There have been stowaways since

the Egyptians first sailed the Red Sea.

And when they caught them,

they tossed them overboard.

The airlines won't do a thing about it,

and she knows it.

Crafty little old biddy.

Come on now. Relax.

After all, she only stole a ride,

not a plane.

I know but...

Mel, they've been pressuring me

about that transfer to San Francisco.

I think I'll take it.

The pay is better...

and the change of climate

will do me good.

- No snow.

- Yes.

It's a beautiful city.

I'll miss you.

Will you? Enough not to let me go?

I'm sorry.

I had no right to say that.

You've been honest

with me from the beginning.

No false hopes, no promises.

I'm not as honest as you think.

I said I invented excuses

not to go home, and that's true.

But I didn't mention the real reason

I needed to stay here.

I tell myself I've got

to try to hold things together

for the sake of the children.

But I'm not sure

that's true or even kind.

They know what's going on,

and it's hurting them.

Especially Roberta.

Then I think about

my mother and father.

God knows

they had their ups and downs.

But somehow they, well,

they worked it out.

I feel I ought to be able to do

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes