Albatross

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Ooh

Ooh

Ooh

If you can't

make me happy

Gonna walk away the blame

If you can't make me happy

Gonna walk away the shame

See, I got my cuts

and bruises

Ah-ooh

Gonna walk away the pain

Ah-ooh

And if you can't

make me happy

Ah-ooh

Gonna walk away again

Oh, you are up.

I'm taking Posy

to an audition,

so you're manning the front desk

this morning.

Can I not? I'm revising.

Is Dad not around?

Your dad's writing.

You can revise on the desk.

You have to give

people keys, Beth.

Won't be any different

to up here.

Come on.

Take your hair down

and make yourself

a bit more presentable

Why don't you see

What you're doing to me?

Police! Run!

Why won't you go?

Leave me walking alone

Hey!

Why won't you go?

If you can't

Make me

Happy

Mmm,

did you bring coffee?

Yes, thanks.

I'm taking Posy

to an audition,

so you're gonna have to get

your own lunch as well.

There's some nice

turkey ham in the fridge.

Which?

Which what?

No, which is it,

turkey or ham?

It's turkey ham.

That's what it is,

turkey ham.

]Why do they call it

turkey ham

when it's only got

turkey in it?

It's from flying bloody pigs,

that's what,

like your next bestseller.

Why won't you see

What you're doing to me?

Why won't you go?

Leave me walking alone

Why won't you go?

Was everything all right?

Did you sleep okay?

No, I didn't.

All those bloody Seagulls

squawking since sunrise.

They kind of come

with the sea.

Wasn't like that

in the book.

It was a peaceful retreat

in the book.

You're lucky

I'm not coming in...

to talk to your mother

and father.

Well, good luck with that

if you change your mind.

Um...

is this actually your house?

Yeah.

Hmm.

I'm late, aren't I?

You've missed breakfast,

I'm afraid.

Which room are you in?

All of them,

unfortunately.

I'm the new cleaner.

Right, yeah.

I'm Beth Fischer.

Oh, charmed.

Serena.

Nice to meet you, Serena.

Can I just take your surname

for the key log?

Yeah, um,

it's spelled M-O-L-I-N-A.

Great.

So you know

you don't need to do

the attic room on the top floor,

just the guestrooms.

This is Edna,

our other cleaner.

She'll show you around.

How do you say your surname,

just so I don't get it wrong?

Molina.

Molina.

Mm-hmm, yeah.

Serena Molina the cleaner.

Meant to be.

Right, um, so Edna's

just down there.

EW.

Yeah, in deep.

Oh.

You don't need

to clean here.

Are you sure?

Looks pretty dirty

from where I'm standing.

Filthy, actually.

F***.

Is that your dad then?

The pervert you keep locked away

in the attic?

So you've read the book then?

No.

It's a little

lightweight for me.

Any good?

Really brilliant.

What's he doing here then?

He lives here.

No, I mean he's German,

isn't he?

So What's he doing in this

culture vacuum?

Well, I imagine he's asking

himself the same question...

now that

he's got Writer's block.

My name's not Serena Molina,

by the way.

Did you not realize

I was joking?

Oh.

I thought the joke

was on you.

Emelia... Conan Doyle.

And, yes, I am related

to the Sherlock Holmes author.

Wow.

That's great.

Anyway...

I'd better go.

Got to skooch.

Bye.

She wants to do it,

so why can't she?

Because she will-

Because she will have

to come out of school

if the rehearsals

are during the day.

She is six years old,

Jonathan.

What's she going

to miss, eh?

What's she going to miss?

Oh, I don't know.

Just the unimportant stuff!

Reading! Writing!

A lot of bloody good

those things have done you,

parked up here

fiddling with your a**hole,

and it's the rest of us-

do not turn away!

It is the rest of us

who are running around,

trying to make money

out of this godforsaken house

to make ends meet.

It's a professional engagement

she's been offered,

and she wants to do it.

Does she really want to?

Yes, look at her!

Or is it just you trying to

make up for your own failures?

Oh, well, I can only bow

to your superior knowledge

of failure.

You are the Grand Poobah

of it.

You are so f***ing

childish.

It takes years to write

a great novel.

And it takes you just as long

to write a sh*t one.

Go away, Mum!

I'm revising!

Oh.

Sorry, I didn't realize

you were here.

I'd say the same goes

for this lot.

You caught the show then?

This is my

get-out-of-jail card.

And, uh...

is that your sex hat?

Look, I don't have long.

I just stopped by

to give you this.

You had a book on fairies

by your bed.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah,

it was my little sister's.

But that's lovely.

Thanks.

Anyway,

I should get going.

You should come

for dinner,

tonight, as a thank-you

for the book.

Seriously?

With your family?

Yeah.

That would be amazing.

Great, so do you need

to call your mum to check?

I would,

but she's a bit dead.

Oh.

Sorry.

It's okay.

It's not very fair

for you to take the blame.

She did kill herself.

But thanks anyway.

F***ing useless a**hole.

Come on, Posy,

get in the car.

We need to get going

if we're gonna really

f*** your father off.

You said a bad word!

Nice!

Bye.

Bye.

Have you got any ID?

Yeah, definitely me.

No.

Are you 18?

Yes.

Can you prove it?

There.

Are these not the breasts

of an 'I 8-year-old?

That'll be 299,

please.

I can't believe we're stooping

to the hired help...

for friendships now, Beth.

What's going on?

Your daughters invited

the bloody cleaner for dinner.

Which one?

Well, I assume it's

the '17-year-old.

Please tell me

it's not Edna,

the bearded pensioner.

Sorry.

I came in through

the private entrance.

I didn't know which one

I should use.

Oh, hey.

Hello, Mrs. Fischer.

Thank you so much

for inviting me.

This is for you.

Oh, thank you.

Are you old enough

to drink Wine?

Yes...

in Denmark and restricted parts

of Europe.

Oh, have you met my dad,

Emelia?

No, I don't think we've

actually been introduced.

Beth, can you come

and finish up the plates?

Hi, I'm Jonathan Fischer.

Hmm.

I hope you've washed that hand

before I shake it, Mr. Fischer.

Emelia.

Hi.

Lovely to meet you

properly, Emelia.

Conan Doyle.

Emelia Conan Doyle.

Yes, I am related to

the Sherlock Holmes author.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle?

Oh.

I've read all his work.

So I'll get you a drink.

Wine?

You can have a glass of wine

with dinner, can't you?

white, huh?

That's what you girls prefer,

white?

So tell me about

the cliff house.

I want to know everything.

Hmm.

There's not much to tell.

I came over here

to go to Cambridge.

Saw a beautiful young actress

in a touring play...

and whisked her

away to the cliff house,

just for the weekend.

Wrote the book

in ignorance at 22,

struck gold,

and now it hangs

around my neck,

taunting me

with its success.

Yeah, I meant the house,

like the actual building.

Is it Victorian?

No, Edwardian, actually.

I'm joking.

I'd love to know

about the book.

Are you applying

to university, Emelia?

I'm sure Beth told you

she's applying to Oxford.

Um, I'm not actually

going to uni.

Are you at the

University of Life, Emelia?

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