Alex & Emma Page #3

Synopsis: A romantic comedy: Alex is an author whose writer's block and gambling debts have landed him in a jam. In order get loan sharks off his back, he must finish his novel in 30 days or wind up dead. To help him complete his manuscript he hires stenographer Emma. As Alex begins to dictate his tale of a romantic love triangle to the charming yet somewhat opinionated stenographer, Emma challenges his ideas at every turn. Her unsolicited yet intriguing input begins to inadvertently influence Alex and his story and soon real life begins to imitate art.
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Director(s): Rob Reiner
Production: Warner Bros.
  1 nomination.
 
IMDB:
5.6
Metacritic:
32
Rotten Tomatoes:
11%
PG-13
Year:
2003
96 min
$14,200,000
Website
310 Views


but every writer does depend on the

muses smiling down on him occasionally.

And if the muses don't smile?

My head starts ringing

and my eyes fog over.

Is there smiling now or are we heading

back into the fog with the ringing sounds?

- There's smiling.

- Good.

- What happens next?

- Adam falls in love.

With whom?

There's no accounting for love

or why one look, one casual touch...

one breath of perfumed air...

can ignite feelings so strong

it's almost painful.

He seems awfully shallow.

- What are you talking about?

- He just looks at her and he's in love?

You've never heard of love at first sight?

Right. That must be it.

Continuing on.

Polina Delacroix. It's a great pleasure

to meet you, Mr. Shipley.

- You, as well, Madame Delacroix.

- Please, call me Polina.

- This is John Shaw.

- We've met.

This is Andre and Michele.

We are very pleased to be meeting you,

Mr. Shipley.

Very pleased to be meeting you, too.

Allow me to introduce the others.

This is my father.

And this is Madame Blanche,

a close friend of my father's.

Let's be off.

Claude, could you please fetch

Mr. Shipley's belongings?

That's okay. I can fetch.

I don't mind fetching. I love to fetch.

Don't be silly, Mr. Shipley.

I wouldn't want to be silly.

I think it's going to be

a very special summer.

- You like that?

- It's very funny.

Thank you.

- He's like a fool.

- What? No.

He's smitten. He's blinded by love.

Right.

Because I didn't see the attraction at first.

But when she said

those intoxicating words:

"Claude, could you fetch his belongings,"

who could resist that?

All right. Good.

- What do you say we call it a day?

- Okay.

Good, because I have to type

all this stuff up tonight.

- How many pages we got?

- I'd say about eight.

That's not bad.

Considering the somewhat

awkward beginning.

I guess I'll see you tomorrow.

- I'll be here around 9:00?

- Great.

- Thanks for a good first day.

- You're welcome.

- Bye.

- Bye.

Saint Charles seemed almost unreal...

like a magical playground

for the well-to-do.

There was, however, something besides

the affluence and beauty of Saint Charles...

which filled Adam 's brain

until he could barely breathe.

It was Polina 's perfume and the

application thereof upon her ample bosom.

- Oh, please!

- What?

- "Ample bosom"?

- What's wrong with that? It's literary.

- In that case, you forgot the heaving.

- The what?

In every book I've read, whenever there's

an ample bosom there's always heaving.

- Do we have to talk about this right now?

- You introduced the bosoms.

I'm simply asking

if you'd like them to heave.

Fine, let them heave.

Though he had considered himself

a member in good standing...

of that great army of destitute artists...

upon arriving at the Delacroix estate...

Adam began to consider

that he may have been a bit hasty...

in condemning

the acquisition of large sums of money.

Mr. Shipley, Ylva will help you get settled

in the guest cottage.

- Ylva? What kind of name is Ylva?

- It's Swedish.

That's not a real name.

Who made that one up? Jacques Cartier?

It's her name, okay?

- Okay, how do you spell it?

- Just like it sounds.

- L-L-V-A.

- No, it's Y-L-V-A.

- Y-L-V-A? That's not how it sounds.

- That's how she spells it!

- Okay, you want Y-L-V-A, it's Y-L-V-A.

- Good.

Fine. Just so you know,

it's not how it sounds.

- Who is she, anyway?

- She's this pain-in-the-ass au pair.

Well, here we are.

- Thanks...

- Ylva.

Ylva, now that's a beautiful name.

How do you spell that?

Y-L-V-A.

Just like it sounds.

- Very funny.

- What? I take from life.

I am to unpack for you.

- Madame told me to unpack for you.

- All right.

She seems very nice, Madame.

Has she been keeping company

with Mr. Shaw very long?

She does not love him.

- Really?

- But she will marry him.

Why?

She is desperate for the money.

I thought she was supposed to receive

a large inheritance from her grandmother.

Yeah, but Grandmother,

she takes a very long time to die.

So if Polina had money...

she wouldn't have to marry Shaw.

I see what you're doing.

You've got the triangle.

We already know Adam and Shaw

both like Polina.

Now we find out they both have obstacles.

Yeah. It's called a plot.

And the reason

you're being sarcastic with me is?

Because if I don't finish this book

in 28 days, two large Cuban gentlemen...

are going to see to it

that I'm not around to enjoy a 29th.

Fine. Except for the typing, I'm not here.

Why do I think

that will never be altogether true?

As Adam settled into his routine

at the Delacroix estate...

he knew he had a job to do.

Teach those children English

like they'd never been taught before.

Focus. He had to focus.

Who was he kidding?

There'd be no focusing

with Polina on the premises.

On Tuesday,

he caught a glimpse of her ankle...

and was forced back to his room

for prayer and reflection.

Adam wondered:
Was it possible?

Could a woman like Polina

actually be interested...

in an ordinary man like himself?

Why not? This wasn't India.

There was no caste system here.

This was America, where everybody

had a shot with everybody.

There was no denying it.

Her feelings for Adam

were as real as the egg salad in his lap.

It was another glorious day

in Saint Charles...

as Adam chased Andre and Michele...

who giggled as they conjugated the verb

"to run."

I run.

You run! He run!

No, "run." We run. You run.

They run.

No, you do not run.

You go wash your hands.

I have finished mit der strudel.

Wait a minute. Who's she?

Elsa, the au pair.

I thought Ylva was the au pair.

I didn't have a real fix on the character.

The Swedish wasn't working for me.

She needs more edge.

Swedes have no edge?

No. It's common knowledge.

They got that light blue flag.

It's better if she's German.

Of course, because all Germans have edge.

No, not all. But some, certainly.

I mean, Hitler springs to mind.

Fine, she's German.

Thank you, Elsa.

Would you be so kind

as to take the children?

- I must speak with Mr. Shipley.

- Yes, of course.

Let's go! Wash hands. On to the house!

Our family is in something of a crisis.

Yes, I've heard.

What a disaster it all is.

Hearing his name from her lips

for the first time...

was almost more than he could bear.

Children shouldn't have to

deal with burdens like this.

I'll do my best

to see that they're protected.

- I want to see them happy.

- I'll make sure they're happy.

All I want is a simple life,

and a man to share it with.

A man who will truly love me for me.

Is that too much to ask?

I think that's very reasonable.

Would you kill for me?

- I beg your pardon?

- Would you kill Shaw for me?

You want me to...

kill Shaw?

I owe him so much money.

And if he lives, I will have to marry him.

I'd kill him in a second, you understand.

It's just that...

when you're a tutor, and people

see the word "murderer" on your resume...

sometimes they have a tough time

getting past that.

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Jeremy Leven

Jeremy Leven (born 1941) is an American screenwriter, director, producer, and novelist. Born in South Bend, Indiana, Leven lives in Woodbridge, Connecticut, Paris, and New York City. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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