Alex of Venice Page #3

then I looked down and I realized

he was jerking off.

- I'm back to cabs.

- I'm late for work.

- It's Sunday.

- She always works on Sundays.

Yeah, when Dad wakes up,

make sure he takes his meds.

The list is on the fridge, okay?

And can you walk Friday?

- Got it.

- Okay. I love you.

The waterfall. Look at the colors

he has in the waterfall.

Blue and green. So cool. Right?

- Hey, Billy.

- Hey, Al, what's going on?

- Have you seen George around?

- No, I haven't seen him.

- Okay. Thanks.

- Everything alright?

Yeah. Yeah, everything's fine. Thank you.

Okay. Take care.

Hey, this is George, leave a message.

The science of managing wildlife

in a land full of people is new.

And scientists know if they're not careful,

helping one species could harm another.

That's the subject from our next story

from Centennial Valley.

Dean Schofield, NPR news.

These are really good.

- You don't have to say that.

- I'm being serious.

Okay.

Who's the hottie?

Come on, who is she?

What? You have such a crush.

Yes, you do. What's her name?

- Rain.

- Oh, Rain. Do you like her?

You should show her these.

If a guy drew me like this,

forget it. Forget it.

Okay, okay.

Madam will have her coffee here.

Where's the cream...

where's the cream? Where's the...

Well, in here it says, 'is the coffee

ready.' I don't know if... Yeah.

First you say 'is the coffee...'

Madam will have her coffee here.

Can I just... ask you something?

When you called Lily...

to come, I mean, why did you do that?

You know, I thought it'd be...

You know, nice to get the family together.

I always like that.

Is that the only reason, or...

'Cause I'm trying.

I...

You just got a lot going on... Alex.

But, you know, it's your...

it's your job. I mean...

I understand. I...

I understand.

You've always been that way.

Even in school you were ambitious.

You'd get your work done

a month in advance, and...

you now, and be asking for more and...

Is that a good thing?

I don't know where you got it.

I don't know if it's a good thing.

Well...

you'll figure it out.

You always do.

Hey, Al, come here, check this out.

- Hey, Josh, let me get a shot of that.

- You find something?

- Great, thanks.

- So...

unfortunately our tadpoles

aren't doing that well.

Normally the wetlands water

would be relatively clear.

You can definitely see that's got

a metallic color, like, rust color.

It's just not right.

- Josh?

- Yeah?

- When can you get me those numbers?

- I can get them to you later tonight.

Okay. As soon as you have the results,

call me. I don't give a f*** what time it is.

Alex? Tomorrow morning we're going

to discuss the best way to present.

- Great.

- Everybody's on call tonight.

- Okay.

- This is big. Good work everyone.

Yeah.

Good night.

- I mean... really.

- The pepper is the main attraction here.

- This was so good, Lily.

- It's just spaghetti.

- Could've used a little more sauce.

- Little bit.

Well, we don't have any more. Okay?

What's the play about, Grandpa?

It's about an... an old servant who...

has been working for this family forever.

And the family is broke

and they have this cherry orchard,

and this kind of dumb young guy...

chops down the... cherry trees

and puts up condos or some sh*t.

And then they all leave the house

and forget about me,

and I'm left there alone and...

then I guess I die.

It's ambiguous.

Oh, my God. That's so depressing.

I don't want to see that.

No, it's Chekhov.

Sounds whack.

- What... are you hearing this, Walt?

- You know, just...

What? Why are you always

taking a poop on everyone's parade?

- She's just being realistic.

- I do not poop on anybody's anything.

Fine, Dad, you know what? I bet this is

going to be a huge game changer for you.

Oh, now, you hear this Roger?

A game changer.

- They're making fun of me.

- No, we're not, Dad.

- Of course you are.

- Ganging up on me.

- We are not, Dad.

- We don't gang up on you.

- Mom. I think the oven's on fire.

- Yeah, babe?

- F***, the chocolate chip cookies.

- Oh, sh*t. Okay, it's fine.

Everyone just calm down, this is really...

- Oh, my God.

- Oh, my God.

- I'll get this window.

- Yeah, I'll do this one.

Where does your dad

keep the fire extinguisher?

We have one in the house

somewhere, don't we?

- I have no idea.

- Well, I thought...

- Be cool.

- What's the status on the cookies?

- Sh*t!

- Are you okay, Mom?

- You okay, Alex?

- I'm fine, I'm fine, no.

Sweetie, I'm fine, I'm fine. I'm good.

Are we going to have cookies or not?

- What a question, Dad.

- If you didn't notice, the house is burning down.

Yeah.

The house is not f***ing burning down.

I'm just... I'd like a cookie.

Okay, what do we ask it next?

Ask this board

something you wouldn't know.

Alright. Am I ever going

to have sex again?

Okay, first of all, what?

I can tell you right now

the answer is yes.

Well, I mean, I've...

I've only ever had sex with George, so...

What?

- Are you serious?

- I got pregnant when I was 19, Lily.

That's like the saddest thing

I've ever heard.

Okay, you know what?

You're going to have sex tonight.

- With who?

- We're going to find somebody.

I'm not going to have sex with a stranger.

If that's what you're talking about.

- Why not?

- Because there are diseases.

There's also condoms.

Okay, okay, so there's... there's a guy

at work, but it's not...

Okay, great. Let's text him.

- What do I say? I don't want to text him.

- Just ask him if he wants to get a drink.

A drink. What... like,

a drink where? Like...

What? Who cares just be like, 'Hey...

what up? Do you want to get a drink?'.

Hey...

Josh... how are you?

No. What? 'How are you?'. No.

- It's... I need, like an introduction.

- No.

We're not writing, like a letter

from camp. Just say, like...

'Hey, I'm really into anal...'

Do you want to get a drink?

Just be, like 'hey, what's up? You look

like you have like a mushroom dick,

and I want to sit...'

Just be like 'hey, what's up? I've only

had sex with one person. My p*ssy's tight.'

Just f***ing write it.

Give it to me. Give it to me.

Don't write it. No, you're going

to write something horrible.

- No. Oh, give it to me.

- Stop. No, no, no, no, no, no.

- We're not writing a letter.

- Lily, give it back. I'm ser... Lily.

- Stop it.

- Lily. I'm serious. I'm serious. I will...

- I... love... double penetration...

- Give it back, give it back, give it back.

- ...and sent.

- Lily, please don't. Please don't.

Done. Oh, my God, this is so exciting.

I know exactly what you should wear.

What did you say? Please, Lily...

I...

Oh, he already texted back. He said sure.

Does this mean I just arranged

to have sex with him?

No.

You know what? I have this dress.

It's like a magical dress.

I'm going to go get it.

You should wear it tonight.

Okay, this dress, no underwear...

you're set.

Don't... it's... easy access.

Oh, great. That's what I'm looking for.

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