Alice

- Hey. Where are you now?

- Nowhere.

It's late. I have to go.

Oh, oh, oh.

- John and Susan confirmed for dinner.

- Yes.

Don't sit her by Ray Poole's wife. She'll

ask if he's moving to Kidder Peabody.

- I'll put her next to the Gimbels.

- Mrs Tait! We're ready for school.

We're all bundled

up. Come on. Let's go.

There's Mommy. Give her

a big wave and a big hug.

- Do you have their library books?

- Yes. And their milk money. Come on.

- Wanna invite Lily to play?

- I'll be picking you up.

No, Monica? I'd like

to pick them up today.

- All right.

- OK.

- Seen my tennis racket?

- Bye! No.

- Let's go to the country this weekend.

- Oh.

Roger and I wanna play doubles

with his lawyer and a friend.

But it's the last weekend

for the antique show.

Come on. There'll be others. I put in

a clay court and I've yet to use it.

- They have no more free-range

chickens. - Then, no, Hilda.

There are too many chemicals

in the others. Bye-bye.

Order some papayas, Hilda.

They're high in fibre.

You want me to order more

skin lotion and shampoo?

No. Dr Kellar's putting me on new

ones. You can order my moisturiser.

There's my trainer.

Hilda, would you call my masseuse

and see if I can come an hour earlier?

- My back is just killing me.

- Hi.

- Hi, Ethel. Hi, Bill.

- We met in the elevator.

I was out shopping for another

client and I found this.

- I was thinking of the Connecticut place.

- Yeah?

- It's a fin-de-sicle

eel trap. - An eel trap?

Maybe for a lamp base or

a dried flower arrangement?

- Interesting, yeah.

- Live with it for a while.

- They're hard to come by.

- Are they?

It's a steal at 9,000. I'll

just be in the children's room.

- Ready to get off some cellulite?

- My back is killing me. I don't know why.

I've had it X-rayed, I've been to my

chiropractor, I've had a shiatsu massage...

- Acupuncture?

- No, I'm scared of needles.

- There's a Dr Yang. He's good.

- I wonder, if I had a Swede walk on it...

- Oh. Did you hear about Nancy Brill?

- No. What?

She got promoted. Now she's in charge of

buying scripts for a big cable TV station.

- Really?

- She can get a project done if she likes it.

- Who would have thought?

- Everybody's running to her with scripts.

My! It's great when a

good friend makes it.

I hear she's having an affair

with Beth Winninger's husband.

Really?

- Nina?

- What?

Could you excuse us

for a couple of minutes?

- Sure.

- Just for a minute. Thank you.

- Nina, I have to talk to someone.

- About what?

- You must never tell. Promise.

- I promise.

I feel so ashamed. You know I'm

not the type to have an affair.

You know, 16 years I've

been married to Doug.

- It's not in me.

- I know. You're a good Catholic.

Now who are you sleeping with?

The other day Monica was sick,

so I brought the kids to school.

Excuse me. Miss?

- What?

- I think you dropped your...

- Oh, my book.

- Edna St Vincent Millay.

- Thank you. I'm sorry. Thank you.

- Romantic stuff.

Come on.

- I can't get him out of my mind.

- And that's it? That's all?

- Yes.

- You said an affair.

- You know I could never...

- What's his name? Is he single?

I don't even... I don't know.

Isn't this foolish?

It isn't even that he's so handsome.

It's more... more the way

he looked at me, you know?

- Was he there when you went back?

- I couldn't bring myself to go back.

I had Hilda pick up the children.

But I'm gonna go today. I'm gonna go.

I don't know why. You know,

I'd never dare do anything.

- Start a conversation.

- Speak to him? Come on. You're joking.

I can't bring myself to look

at him, let alone speak to him.

I mean, I tried to speak to him the

other day, and I just... Nothing came out.

Are you and Doug OK?

Yeah. I always assumed

everything was fine.

I'm just so ashamed of the way I feel.

- You must never tell...

- Hi, Alice. Nina, hi.

- How is your back? Feeling any better?

- No, it's worse. It's much worse.

I have the perfect man for you to see.

He's an acupuncturist. His name is Dr Yang.

That's funny. My trainer

mentioned him this morning.

He's not just an acupuncturist. He's

a diagnostician. He gives these herbs.

The man's a genius. He

diagnoses you from your pulse.

He took Jean Lewis's pulse and

told her she would develop an ulcer.

No Western doctor could find it. Six

months later she fell over with pain.

- I heard Jean Lewis had a wattle-ectomy.

- A good one. All that turkey-neck is gone.

- Am I getting that?

- Oh, no.

Don't forget Dr Yang.

His herbs are marvellous.

They're not chemicals.

They're all natural.

Helen Dukes had vaginal tumours.

Every Western doctor wanted to operate.

She went on Dr Yang's herbs. They went

into remission. It's been three years.

- Gosh!

- Don't you have to be someplace, Alice?

- I think, yes?

- I do. I have to run.

Yeah.

Ah, Mrs Tait!

Kate and Dennis are doing great.

He's integrating beautifully.

I'm so pleased. Aren't you?

You can really see it

in his free-play period.

If you want, we can go talk for a

few minutes about a kindergarten...

...that would give him the best chances

of getting into an Ivy League college.

What have you been thinking

all night? You seem so distant.

Nothing. I keep getting

these sharp pains in my back.

Oh, Lila called before. She said the

name of that acupuncturist was Dr Yang.

Dr Yang? Really? That's the third

time today I've heard his name.

You're not gonna let someone

stick needles into you?

- I think he mostly uses herbs.

- Well, what you need is to take it easy.

Don't exercise so much. Have breakfast

in bed. Watch Good Morning America.

Dr Yang, please.

Please sit.

The doctor will see you now.

Come in.

Please sit down.

Take coat off.

What is trouble?

I feel... just achy and

tired. My back, particularly.

I've been to a number of doctors

and they can't find anything wrong.

Problem is not back.

Problem is here, here.

Really? Cos, you know,

it feels like my back.

My back stiffens sometimes

so that I can hardly bend it.

Stop talking about back.

Nothing wrong with back.

Well, do you think it could be

that I'm exercising too strenuously?

Maybe lifting the children wrongly?

Gee, what is that? That's

the strangest-looking thing.

- Please stare at centre of wheel.

- What are you trying to do with this?

Please stare at centre

and breathe deeply.

Deeply. Very deeply.

If you're trying to hypnotise me,

Doctor, I hate to see you waste your time.

Please. Please, Mrs Tait.

Rest eyes upon centre of vortex.

Yeah, but, see, the thing

is, I'm a very poor subject.

Really. It's been proven. A stage

entertainer once tried, a very famous one.

And I went right up on stage.

There were, I guess,

about 12 volunteers.

I was the one who failed

to go into a trance.

See the wheel spin.

- I'm sure you know, Doctor...

- Concentrate.

...there are two categories

of people, you know?

I...

You know, not everyone

can be hypnotised.

I fall into the...

Now, tell me what you see.

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