Alien from L.A. Page #4

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until you give her body...

to the Government House.

Dead or alive,

it doesn't matter.

We'll pay for her cold carcass.

Gotcha!

Hello, babe.

That was real cute

back there, sweetheart.

Go ahead. Scream all you want.

Brick Bardo can take it.

Let me hear it.

You ain't worth

nothing to nobody.

Speaking of worth nothing...

Crazy. You shouldn't have

wrinkled my suit, slick.

You're kind of big boned

for a troll, aren't you?

I'm not really a troll.

Yeah, right. Neither am I.

Who are you?

I'm Charmin', as in style,

good looks, and panache.

Hey, look...

I know you want me

to sweep you off your feet...

love you until I die, but

I ain't got the time right now.

I'm on my way to rob...

You know, borrow some funds...

and that gweeb back there

has made me late.

But I...

Look,

I know it's disappointing...

but there'll be

another time, another place.

Wait.

What?

I'm lost,

and some people are after me.

And could you please help me?

I know it's a lot to ask.

I told you. I'm busy.

Please? I'm really in trouble...

bad trouble.

I win lotto.

Hey, I was talking to her,

slick.

Me rich. Me rich.

OK, maybe I might help you.

It's only because I'm a sucker

for big-boned dolls in trouble.

Now tell me your problems...

and I'll decide

if I've got the time.

Well, mine started

when I was ten years old...

- Wait a second.

- What?

Is that really your voice?

Come on.

And then

he was about to kill me...

and then you showed up

to save my life, Charmin'.

Crazy.

That's an unbelievable story.

What, the part about me

being an alien...

from the surface world?

No. That you've

gone through all this...

for a guy like your father.

I mean, he seems like

a selfish pebble head...

who didn't care about

anybody except himself.

- I used to think so.

- Oh, and now you like him?

I think I understand him

a little.

Crazy. You know, it's still

a lot to go through...

for someone who may not

want to see you.

It's crazy.

You're a very unusual girl,

Wanda.

And I mean more than because

your voice is so strange.

The Govco lotto seems to be

catching on in a big way.

Come on, the saloon is this way.

Guess I showed him, huh?

Look, Wanda...

I don't know

if you're an alien or what...

but I do believe you're here

to find your father.

OK, for whatever reason,

the city's out to get you...

so you got to get out of here...

before it's too late

for even me to save you.

She's over there!

You get going.

I'll hold them off.

- But...

- It'll be easier with you gone.

I might have to do something

I don't want you to see.

Like what, Charmin'?

Never mind.

Roryis' saloon is nearby,

just up that alley.

Hide there,

and I'll meet you if I can.

Will I ever see you again?

You never know, Wanda.

Crazy.

Another time, another place.

Now go on. Get out of here.

Another time, another place.

Wait, wait.

I'm going to be sick.

Sector 100.

Once again,

here is the girl's image.

The girl answers to the name

Wanda Saknussemm...

and is wearing

a black bodeo outfit.

You can see

how easy she is to spot...

so find Wanda and win.

Govco...

your government corporation...

making you play lotto

because we know you want to.

There she is, General.

Citizens, General Rykov

and the police...

request all citizens

with slab ID clearance...

to leave Sector 100.

I should go inside.

Please leave the area at once.

Repeat... Sector 100

is to be cleared...

of all slab ID checked citizens.

Help!

How come these vehicles never

work when they're supposed to?

OK, Guten, where is the girl?

Sector 81.

Bloody hell.

She's been arrested.

Vindicate my life, Guten.

Prove that the surface world

really exists.

I got to figure out a way

to rescue Wanda first.

What do you have in mind, Gut?

Look, professor...

I know you've never done

this kind of thing before...

but are you up to it?

What do you want me to do?

I must have the aliens

for research, your lordship.

They're not specimens,

Dr. Madagasi.

They're humans,

and we do not, as a rule...

go around cutting up humans

in the name of research, do we?

I believe the aliens

are spies...

being sent down to report

on our capabilities, Lord Over.

We must mobilize for war.

We must launch

a massive retaliation.

You're overreacting, General.

They're here to enslave us,

make trolls out of us.

I must agree

with Counsel Crassus...

that the aliens are here

by accident.

What do you suggest we do,

Crassus?

Since the aliens arrived here

accidently, your lordship...

as you most shrewdly

observed...

I suggest we help them return

to the surface world.

Your panty-hose

are on too tight, Crassus.

I beg your pardon, Rykov?

Let the aliens free?

I, for one, do not want

to be reclassified as a troll.

We will release them

only if they agree...

not to reveal our existence

to their world...

and no one else is to come down.

We have no choice

but to trust them.

Trust aliens?

Your lordship, you cannot

possibly listen to Crassus.

You know he's got

those odd tendencies...

and we've all been discussing

the fact that he dyes his hair.

The General aside,

your lordship...

we are not murderers.

We cannot let them die here.

Bring me the aliens.

I'll first speak to Wanda.

Then decide whether

to free them or terminate.

Bloody hell.

Come on, come on.

Your lordship,

this is the Wanda.

Come here, child. Come closer.

So, you are the Wanda.

Yes.

I'm Wanda Saknussemm.

Why are you here?

Rykov has arrested

your daughter...

Professor Saknussemm,

and put her on trial.

What's going to happen to her?

Lord Over

is trying to decide...

whether to release you

and your daughter...

or to terminate your lives.

Well, how does it look?

No, no, no. I mean in there.

Oh.

Everything depends on Wanda.

I'm no explorer or adventurer...

and I'm not here

to hurt your world.

I just want to find my dad,

and that's why I'm here.

And for no other reason, sir.

Oh, please.

I'm Wanda Saknussemm...

a waitress from L.A.

who should've never come here.

And I just really want

to go home now.

They are going to make

brown-eyed trolls out of us.

Oh, shut up, Rykov.

Daddy?

Daddy!

- Wait!

- See?

Stop!

Wait! What are you doing?

No! He's my dad!

- So, you're Wanda's dad.

- Yes, I am.

Well, she's gone through

a lot of trouble to find you.

Stay put while

I reckon us a way out.

Why did you come

looking for me, Wanda?

Because you're my dad.

I...

- I'm sorry that...

- It doesn't matter now.

You're more than I deserve.

This way. We got to bounce.

What's the matter?

Did you forget something?

Do you have any idea

how remarkable this is?

What? It's a building.

No, it's not.

This is a spacecraft...

that crashed here 10 millennia

ago from outer space.

Outer space? Come on.

Is the tracking system working?

I know where

they're headed now, General.

I'll direct you from here

by remote.

Good work, Toner.

So, Crassus, I was right

about the aliens being spies.

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