All-Round Appraiser Q: The Eyes of Mona Lisa

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1

I'd like you to appraise this, please.

Certainly.

A Pamphlet?

Your website said you'd appraise anything.

Yes, I will appraise anything.

This company wants to sponsor

a food-tasting at my restaurant.

They offered to pay well,

so I agreed right away...

...but I'm worried.

About what?

Everything will be free, and it's very lavish.

It might be pyramid sales.

I don't want my restaurant

mixed up in funny business.

L can't really go to the police.

Then I saw your website.

It says 'all-round'.

Does anything strike you as odd?

Yes. There is one strange thing

in this pamphlet.

This picture of the food inspection.

Where?

Right here.

That green pen at the back.

The Zebra 'Arbez Piirto'

only comes in red, blue, and yellow.

But the cap's green.

That means...

...the photograph has been altered.

Altered?

These bananas were originally yellow.

The Plant Protection Act forbids

the importation of bananas that ripe.

They couldn't get fresh ones,

so they had to doctor the photo.

So this picture's been faked.

There's something going on.

That's my appraisal.

Um...

Yes?

Would you appraise the tasting itself?

Certainly.

This is crap!

Dis deeper!

Go into the background of the background!

I dug as far...

You barely scrape the surface!

I want what's really going on!

Right?

Shimada!

Take over this arson story

from Ogasawara.

It's beyond him.

Sure.

I'll do it.

- OK.

-It's not OK!

I give up.

Here.

Do the gourmet page.

Screw that up...

...and it's the poetry page.

I don't understand poetry!

You don't understand anything!

Just write me a decent article.

Excuse me.

No photography is allowed.

Is that right?

No pictures?

I'm sorry.

What's up with that?

The first dish we have for you...

...became common in Turkish homes

about a century ago.

We hope you'll enjoy it.

So it's pyramid sales?

I don't think so.

But something's not right.

No?

There's something funny going on.

Why didn't they slice the tomatoes

before they fried the bananas?

To make the bananas smell fresher?

They won't after they're deep-fried.

Oh, right.

They said this dish became popular

a century ago in Turkey...

Yes.

Tomatoes are very common

in Turkish cooking now...

...but they only started growing them there...

...about 40 years ago.

Why cut them at this point in the process?

What if the timing's important?

Maybe...

Just maybe...

I thought so.

What is it?

When the ear hears sounds

from different sources...

...it can distinguish them.

But with high sounds over top of low ones...

...since the ear uses a non-linear algorithm...

...you hear the high sounds,

but not the low ones.

Uh...

Look.

One sound is being used here

to mask another one.

Auditory masking.

Is that odd?

They play easy-listening music in elevators...

...to hide elevator noise.

Machine noise makes people nervous,

so that calms them down.

High frequencies over low ones.

Low-volume background music hides motor noise.

'Masking'.

Sound control.

See?

Even 50 decibels at the right frequency...

...can hide a 90 dB sound pressure.

That mixer could hide an electric screwdriver.

It could?

That banging could hide

an acetylene torch cutting steel.

The fryer could mask a power hacksaw.

Or breaking glass.

Just maybe...

What's upstairs?

A gallery. It's closed...

Closed?!

Call the police!

Call the police!

Too late!

Hold it!

Ow!

I'm all right. It's nothing.

I'm fine.

Really.

Wow!

Gee, thanks!

You're really OK?

Yes.

Sorry.

Don't worry about it.

Thank you.

You're with the press?

How did you know?

The camera.

Pictures!

I forgot to take pictures!

Would you mind if I took your picture?

Ne'?

No, thank you.

Please! Let me interview you.

Who are you?

No.

About that 'masking'...

Excuse me!

Ms Riko Rinda?

Yes.

Mr Asahina from the gallery wants to thank you.

You found the thieves? Thank you very much.

Not at all.

When you gave this to the police,

you said it was...

...the most valuable thing here.

Everything was all scattered on the floor.

But that's very valuable,

so I thought I should mention it.

How did you know that?

The Japanese government

had it made for Alexandra...

...wife of Tsar Nicholas ll.

Losing that would be a disaster.

I'm very grateful.

Thank you. I'm very happy I saw it.

Excuse me.

Thanks.

Thank you for your help.

Not at all.

'Bye.

Um...

...thank you very much.

Goodbye.

Um...

...who is that woman?

An appraiser. The 'All-round Appraiser Q'.

'All-round Appraiser...

IQ";

It's fake.

What?!

It says 1870!

It's pewter, poured into a silicone mold.

I'm sorry.

I've been had.

I knew I never should have trusted...

...that old bastard!

But I'm glad I brought it to you.

I had a bad feeling about it.

Send me the bill like always.

I Will.

Thank you.

'Bye, now.

Thanks.

Hello.

Hi.

Ma? I help you?

I'm not here for an appraisal.

I'd like to interview you.

'No, thank you,' I said.

Please!

Was your editor mad?

Yeah.

How did you know?

If you want to interview me, that means...

...a five-year reporter

didn't get any pictures yesterday...

...and his editor's furious.

Why five years?

I'd rather not say.

I don't want to give offence.

I'd like to know. Tell me.

Are you sure?

Yes.

That's an Omega Speedmaster.

A limited edition of 2,009 units made in 2009.

It sold for about 400,000.

Your computer bag costs 980 on-line.

Your parents bought you the watch

when you got a job.

What does the 'Q' stand for?

No interviews. I will not answer that.

That much you could tell me!

I don't want to.

Surely you can say where your trade name comes...

Hello.

The man from yesterday!

Hello!

I've come to ask you to appraise something.

Are you busy?

No, not at all.

Sit down.

Thank you.

Anything you like.

What do you need appraised?

Well, what I'd like you to appraise is...

Yes?

...the Mona Lisa.

The Mona Lisa?

It's coming to Japan in November

for the first time in 40 years.

As I'm sure you know...

...it is the greatest masterpiece

of the world's art heritage.

In order that people everywhere

may come under its spell...

...it's being taken on a world tour.

It will be shown in New York,

Rio de Janeiro, Shanghai, Dubai...

...and Tokyo.

What's your connection with this, Mr Asahina?

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm an Asia Representative and

Examiner for the Louvre Museum.

The French staff isn't familiar

with all the different countries.

They need local people for

security and other matters.

They find people

with appropriate qualifications...

...and make them

acting curators.

And where do I come in?

Next week at the Louvre...

...they'll be testing appraisers

from around the world.

They'll be selecting curators

for the Mona Lisa.

I'd like you to take part.

Please!

Send an idiot like you to France?

Out of the question!

There's a story here! Please!

'All-round Appraiser Q'?

Is this a joke?

She's incredible!

Hey, wail!

Her?

You know her?

She's my type.

Here I am.

Why are you following me?

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