All Is Bright Page #5

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let alone my own f***ing wife!

You know what, Dennis?

I took it pretty good

when you hit me in the face

back in Quebec.

I bought you a drink,

if I remember correctly.

I didn't say anything

when you wanted to come down.

I understand.

You need cash.

But I'll tell you something...

I'm gonna marry Therese.

I told you.

I told you that the whole time.

Thief. What,

did you think I was kidding?

Guys, sorry about the drama.

Come here.

Check this one out.

Thief.

Thief.

How about this?

I like it.

I'm kind of turned on.

Thief!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

F***ing...

Take it easy.

What's your problem, pal?

What is wrong with you?

He stole my wife.

- What?

Is that true?

I'm marrying her.

Aww.

That's f***ed up.

He was in prison for four years.

I was looking out for her.

Things happened.

Yo, you stole his woman

while he was in the joint.

That's even more f***ed up.

Right.

And... and he doesn't

even miss her.

He goes out for three days at a

time and he doesn't even miss her.

Of course I miss her.

Oh, yeah?

How much? Hmm?

How... wh...?

Uh, would you...

would you endure a dull pain

24 hours a day

for the rest of your life

to make her appear here

right now?

What, are you 10?

Would you...

would you give up

whatever money we're gonna make

to see her here right now?

I'm bringing

the money home for her,

and for Michi, you idiot.

Would you...?

And a ring to marry her.

That's the point of all of this.

Would you... would you cut off

your own arm and feet

to see her here right now

and... and maybe hold her

in the leftover arm

for, like, 10 seconds

and just lay your face

against the right side

of her neck?

Wait, what?

What the f***

are you talking about?

See? You see?

You don't deserve her.

Oh, and you do, huh?

What about her?

Does she have any say in this?

Does Therese deserve somebody

who makes every single person

feel 10 times worse?

I'll tell you something...

I don't blame her.

No wonder she couldn't

take it anymore.

Hey, hey, hey, easy, easy.

Not worth it.

Not worth it.

I'm not buying a tree

from this lout.

How much do you want

for the tree?

That's... that's a Scotch pine.

$200.

$200?

There you go.

Don't give him any, all right?

Yeah, bro,

and get your wife back.

Do whatever it takes.

You get her back.

Okay.

All right?

You want me to mesh that up for you?

No, I'm good.

I like her how she is, man.

She's perfect. Thanks, bro.

Dick.

Man #3:

Hello?

I'd like to buy

a Christmas tree.

What kind?

One that doesn't look like

it was bought by a blind guy.

Operator.

Collect call.

Your party's name?

Therese.

Your name?

Dennis.

All?

I have

a collect call from Dennis.

All?

Do you accept the charges?

Uh...

D'accord. Maman!

All?

- Do you accept...

All right, Therese, just listen.

Just listen to me, all right?

And don't say a word.

Um...

Madame, do you accept the charges?

Hey, it's snowing here.

The whole scene out here...

it looks like...

Sir, she must accept the charges.

Like a... like a snow globe,

you know, when you shake it up.

Man!

Madame, do you accept the charges?

Hold on!

And, um, the...

I'll have to disconnect

unless the charges are accepted.

Um, the whole thing...

it looks like one of those snow globes,

you know, with... Sir, I am sorry.

I have to disconnect.

That's it?

Yes?

Well, Olga...

turns out that God blesses

the liars and cheaters.

And?

What the f*** are you doing?

No. You quit.

It is bullshit like this, huh?

Mm.

Yeah.

You've not got much, you know?

No wife.

No kid.

No job.

You should keep lungs, yeah?

You hungry?

Hmm?

Let me see what I got for you.

What I got in here?

Ah, I got borscht.

Very good.

Not too thick

like bullshit passing

for borscht in America.

I do egg salad.

I eat at least

one egg every day.

Hey! No!

Egg salad?

Yes or no, huh?

No, thank you.

Okay!

Okay,

then what do we do

for you, huh?

You know where I can

find a piano?

Yeah.

That... that is Yamaha.

Responsive keys, yeah.

Oh.

And Baldwin... nice tone,

but costs big dinero.

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

Are they always white like that?

No.

Okay.

Olga.

Vlad!

Hey.

We both grew up near Gdansk,

but we met at a wedding in Queens.

Oh.

Nice to meet you.

Um, sorry, what...

what's the cheapest one

that you got?

We have uprights in the back.

Oh. Can I see them?

Of course.

I think I stay here

for a little bit.

She hates diamonds.

What?

Therese... she doesn't

like diamonds.

She says you're

a lousy listener.

She hates diamonds?

She likes rubies.

Where did you get that shirt?

Broadway Shirts.

Rise and shine, cocksucker.

I do well!

Here we go. Okay.

Anything you like,

you see, this is...

oh, I got tree... I got tree

for you... this one right here.

This is a strong,

is a masculine...

this is man tree.

The trees, you know...

they have a gender.

They have man tree,

woman tree. You can tell.

Same with the... the snow bank.

There you go.

You have a wonderful,

wonderful Christmas, eh?

Okay, bye.

Hmm?

Oh. Hey.

Uh-huh.

It's tradition

on first day of winter

to raise toast...

three months of night.

Oh.

- Ah.

Yeah.

Mm!

Tomorrow?

The day after.

Mm.

For the FYI, I do not...

say good-bye.

I also do not say hello.

Thanks.

Sergei Gonchar.

Guy Lafleur.

Vladislav Tretiak.

Phil Esposito.

Vladislav Tretiak.

Bobby Hull.

Bernie Parent.

Vladislav...

Sidney Crosby.

Vladislav...

Gordie Howe.

Alexei Kovalev.

Mario Lemieux.

Igor Larionov.

Uh, Maxim...

Bobby Orr.

And in the sky

The larks,

still bravely singing, fly

Scarce heard

amid the guns below.

We are the dead,

Short days ago

We lived, felt dawn

saw sunset glow,

Loved and were loved...

- Tell... tell me his name again.

Rene.

And now we lie In Flanders Fields.

No, this... here.

Oh, yeah.

Nzomo.

- I use something like that...

Nzomo?

...for a comedic monologue...

Nzomo.

...for a class I'm taking...

Nzomo.

- I think.

...at the Queens Community College.

- Nzomo.

Yeah.

Salud, Nzomo!

...acting. Hey.

- Right on.

Hey, salud.

Maybe?

- Mmm.

Oh, man.

I'm going home.

I'm going to the subway.

You going?

I go.

You go?

Where you go?

To the train

to Jamaica, Queens.

I like it here.

Therese hates cities.

I was always trying to get her

to move to Montreal.

You can move there.

I'm on parole.

Oh, yeah.

How long does that last?

Years.

I think Marie hates me.

You hate that...

when people hate you?

Everyone hates it

when people hate them.

Never bothered me.

How are you gonna

stay dead in Massey?

I can't stay dead, Rene.

Yeah. It does seem hard.

I got a present

picked out for Michi.

Maybe you could, uh,

stay in Marie's basement,

you know,

till you find something

more permanent.

Okay.

$20,768.

That's a lot of up-and-up cash.

I told you it would be fine.

Yeah.

And it is.

It is fine.

Oh, this is gonna

change things.

Everything.

Mmm.

Maybe I'll take Res to Jamaica.

She's never seen the sea.

What are you gonna get?

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