All Roads Lead Home Page #3

You're gonna love it.

I hear it's a sizzler.

It's called "The Great Escape."

You know,

one of those dogs

that you released

bit a crossing guard.

And another one got hit

by a city dump truck.

He's deader than disco.

Yeah, whatever.

Yeah?

Cody.

She what?

Well, what do you want me

to do about it?

Oh no, Cody,

I don't think that's a good idea.

Come on, Hock.

When have I ever

asked you for anything?

This is important.

Well, a couple days maybe.

I'm not a babysitter.

I still can't believe

you're packing me off to Grandpa's.

It's just until

all this nonsense dies down.

We've only seen

him once since...

Since the funeral. I know.

That's all about to change.

He doesn't want me there.

- Of course he does.

- He doesn't. He's different.

Sweetheart,

we're all different now.

Grandpa handles it his way,

I deal with it my way

and, Lord knows,

you deal with it your way.

Here's an idea out of left field.

How about we all deal

with it together?

Cody.

- Hi, Grandpa.

- Young lady.

- Where should I put her bags?

- Put 'em right inside the door.

Good to see you, Hock.

It's good to see you,

Grandpa.

Young lady,

I won't put up with your tomfoolery.

Belle Mae Lawler,

your life is over.

Atticus!

What is it?

Okay, boy, okay.

Okay.

Be good for your grandpa, okay?

I'll call and check in

on you every couple days.

I love you.

"I love you too, Dad.

I'm gonna miss you."

Come on, Atticus,

let's go inside the house.

Dogs stay outside.

But it's Atticus.

Dogs stay outside.

Hey! Out there.

- Hey, Poovey.

- Shh!

Ha!

Hey, listen, I am gonna need that room

for a couple more days.

Being you're my sole-est

and only-est tenant,

I'm sure we can work

something out.

I got a question.

How do you survive out here?

It ain't about surviving.

It's about being useful.

This place used

to be useful.

For 40 years, me and the missus

used to give respite

to the weary in the night:

long-haul truckers,

kids going back and forth

from school;

learning things

I'll never know,

seeing things

I'll never see.

But I seen some things.

I seen fireballs

and freight trains barreling

through the night.

I seen drummers

selling everything,

Fuller Brush, tin houses.

I seen...

I seen it raining

not more than 30 feet

from where I'm standing,

pouring down like God

wet his pants.

But right there the sun was shining

plain as your dopey face.

Now I know it's got to happen

somewhere every time it rains,

but this time it was

happening to me.

Anyways, they put

the new highway in and poof.

It all turns to dust anyway.

It stings not being useful.

Well, I'm gonna get going.

Well, I seen a duck

hit by lightning.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Son, if you've got things

you need to do... and you got the look

of a man who has things

he needs to do...

I can check in on that convention

of critters you left

in my presidential suite.

King me.

- Bye, Poovey.

- Cody...

you know that duck

I was talking about?

It was delicious.

Curtis, this dog

should not be dead.

She didn't get out,

get into anything?

She's fenced in all day

and comes in at night.

She get along

with the neighbors?

They love her.

What about her diet?

Anything new or irregular?

Same since

she was a puppy.

I'm so sorry, Curtis.

I'm gonna ask your permission

to do something.

It won't help your Elize here,

but it might help some others.

If you think it'll help.

Thank you.

Breakfast at 5:
30.

Be there if you want any.

This was mom's room.

It's just a room.

Shoo! Get out of here.

Okay okay, I'm coming, boy.

You're a daddy!

This is Scout

and...

you're Calpurnia

and you're Boo

and you're Miss Maudie.

What is it, boy?

They don't name nothing

around here no more.

Come on, Atticus.

Walk me home.

Hey, we gotta get that

grain chute unstuck.

That dust is gonna build up.

Kaboom!

Leonard was supposed

to fix that.

Leonard's as dumb

as a post.

Leonard ain't dumb

as a post.

He's dumb as a post hole.

Don't just stand there

like a clubbed catfish.

Get yourself a plate.

Gentlemen,

this is

my granddaughter Belle.

Now Belle...

has some unusual ideas

about things.

And she's here to have

an attitude adjustment.

And she will earn her keep

and if she doesn't,

I want to hear about it.

Pronto.

Somebody's gotta do

some work around here.

And when you're done

with the dishes,

you can start

on the compost.

Nothing will cripple

a million-dollar horse worse

than a 10 gopher hole.

But I can see my face in it.

Let me know when you

can see your thoughts.

They're horses, not hamsters.

When you're born to run, you run.

How do they keep

such a steady pace?

They got incentive.

When they get too close

to the front or back,

they get...

an electrical reminder.

You shock them?

More scares 'em than hurts.

What is it?

You are just always

in the way.

This your cat?

Some say cats

got nine lives.

Old Linus here got 12.

Run over him twice myself.

There's something in that maybe...

like in not counting

yourself out.

Oh, speaking of counting

yourself out.

I'm a little short this week.

You got nothing to count.

I'd appreciate two coats

on the outside.

- Two?

- Two.

Two.

- Two.

- Two.

Oh my gosh.

Oh my gosh,

that is so cool.

The suspensory ligament's torn.

She's dog food.

She's not really dog food.

No, honey, we don't do that.

When they work hard

for the farm, they get

respectful internment.

I'll show you soon enough.

The horseshoes are all

upside down.

Hock says it's 'cause

their luck run out.

I say it's 'cause

they just heading

in another direction.

You bury them there?

Not all of 'em.

Them there are the 4H Club.

We only bury the halter,

hooves, head, heart.

Come on.

You got any ideas, pal?

Yeah.

Me neither.

Open the door.

He used to be so brown

when he was a baby,

like the color

of a shiny new penny.

They all born wet and dark.

Don't show their true color,

the color they keep,

till almost

one year sometime too.

I was born purple and blue.

You was born...

I was born what?

Ornery.

But theoretically

free from sin.

Let's go.

Dude, how much more stuff

do I gotta do around this morgue?

A lot more than that.

Yeah, but this is not

in my job description.

Your job description reads

as follows, Milo:

You do what I say to do

until I tell you to stop doing it

or else I can your lazy butt.

Ooh-hoo. You know, if we had

a union, I would totally...

What, what?

I'd join it

and then I'd go on strike.

You are a mountain

of dreams, Milo.

Okay, hey, guess what?

You're feeding my dog.

You got it.

Yeah, mm-hmm.

Eggshell white

or autumn frost?

For what?

My bathroom.

Go with the eggshell white

and mind the spiders.

I wouldn't write off

the autumn frost just yet.

- I mean, that's a nice...

- Get away from me.

Milo.

Come on.

Working dogs...

attachments ruin 'em.

Make 'em all fuzzle-headed.

Coddling gets them

misdirected.

Hock don't like

no misdirected dogs.

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