All Roads Lead Home Page #5

Are you gonna destroy me too?

Belle, that's enough.

Belle.

Yeah, what about it, Hock?

What about our bloodline?

I'd say it was severed

long before now.

We'll be leaving.

You suit yourself.

- Lillian!

- I'm over here.

Any sign of her?

That little gymnast is fast.

I'm so sorry. This is all my fault.

I never should have challenged him.

No, it's about time

somebody stood up to him.

He's been like this

ever since Andrea died.

It's all about me. He keeps

taking it out on Belle. It's not right.

He blames you?

What's not to blame?

You could have drowned.

Have you decided for me?

What?

Have you decided

my fate, Daddy?

What are you talking about?

Like Hock and that old mare.

Like Basham

and those puppies.

Like Mom.

Belle,

baby, you don't think that...

I don't have to think.

I saw it with my own eyes.

I saw it in that hallway.

I saw you

with that doctor.

But you didn't kill her,

did you, Daddy?

You just had her euthanized.

- Belle.

- Hush!

She thinks I killed her mother...

that I pulled some plug.

You don't think that, do you?

No.

No, I don't.

You were driving, but...

What? He was.

Was he?

If Belle would have

drowned in that river,

who would you

have blamed for that?

I just got word that

all my stock's been turned loose.

Where is your daughter?

Come on, guys.

I don't know

where we're going.

But anyplace

is better than here.

Tobias, take the ATV

down to the river.

- Satch, you take the truck west.

- You got it.

Little Doc, you stay in the barn

and watch for anybody who comes back.

Yeah, County, that's confirmed.

We got a missing

approximately 4'11", 65 lbs,

shoulder-length brown hair,

brown eyes.

Do you copy?

Maybe it's time

to hit the gravel.

"I wanted you to see

what real courage is.

It's when you know you're licked

before you begin,

but you begin anyway

and you see it through

no matter what.

You rarely win,

but sometimes you do."

Looks like a storm's coming, guys.

We'd better get going.

Where are you, Belle?

All right, listen up.

I know you've scoured every

square inch of this place.

That means we gotta move

the perimeter out

another three miles.

Do that and don't come back

without her.

Come on, Apache Wind.

We're almost there.

Come on, you're okay.

Come on, let's go.

Atticus, help me out.

Come on.

Come on, Apache Wind, come on!

Settle down. You're okay.

I thought she was raised

more sensible.

Ho, boy.

More sensible? She's 12.

There are a lot

of hard lessons in life, Hock,

but there's no reason that a kid

should have to learn them all at once,

especially from her grandfather.

Or her father,

for that matter.

She makes perfect sense to me.

All she sees in all

living things is the potential.

My God,

why would anybody want her

to see it any other way?

Well, if she rode north of the draw,

there's nothing between her

and Nebraska but hope.

You take the River Road, Cody.

You fell and hit your head.

Apache Wind...

where is he?

Went home.

Smart horse.

But I saw you throw them

in the river.

Sometimes eyes lie.

Man, if Hock saw this place,

he'd fire you for sure.

Possible.

Those are my friends.

How do you feed them?

How can you afford...

Those are my friends.

They need me

to be strong for them.

I understand that.

Grandpa wouldn't.

She was my friend too...

your mama.

Ever since I was no bigger

than you are now,

your mom and me...

Your Grandpa Hock

see your mama

in everything he set his eye on.

He see her in Apache Wind.

He see her in that dog.

He see her in you.

Eats him up

like battery acid.

He's broken,

just like my friends.

But he don't have

nobody to feed him

and keep him warm

and pat him on the head

and say, "You're okay."

Sometimes we get so soaked up

in our own misery,

we can't even fathom

the depth of hurting others.

We'd better be going now,

far away,

and you can't stop us.

I don't have to.

I lit this place up

like Christmas Eve.

One if by land,

two if by you.

Belle, Belle!

No no, Grandpa!

I'm not going back.

I'm not letting you have these animals.

I hate you! I hate you!

I hate you! I hate you!

Belle Mae Lawler,

if you ever... ever

do that again,

I will die.

All this time I thought

you had a still out here.

No, sir.

Well, son,

you're gonna wish you had.

That hurt?

A little.

You know, we don't call

hurt "pain" anymore.

We call it discomfort.

Then I'm pretty discomfortable.

You're gonna have

a nasty bump on your head,

but you're gonna be okay.

You got it?

How's Dad?

He'll be in in a sec.

You like him, don't you?

Of course I do.

No, you "like" him.

Don't you?

Of course I do.

Okay, that does it.

And you can forget

about any malpractice, missy,

because I don't even have

a license for people.

That night at the hospital...

I did argue

with the doctor.

I argued with him

because your mother

was technically...

clinically she was...

I understand.

And the doctor said

that the best thing to do

would be to remove her

from life support

and let her slip away peacefully.

And I said no,

and I said no and no

and no.

And I kept saying no.

She lasted another 39 hours.

Honey, I didn't do

what you think I did,

but I wish to God I had.

I wished when they asked,

I would have just said, "Yes, do it."

Because for the next 39 hours,

I don't know

where your mother was.

I don't know what kind of hell

she was going through.

And I am ashamed

of being so selfish.

There isn't a day that goes by

that I don't regret prolonging it.

Those 39 hours could

have been an eternity.

I knew Mom was going

to someplace good

and someplace special

and she deserved to get there sooner.

What about that summer job?

You ready?

- Yeah.

- Because I gotta get back to work.

And Lillian's gotta get back

because the last thing I heard

was Vinny bit Natasha

in the butt.

Tomorrow, my little cowgirl,

we ride.

- Behave yourself.

- Okay.

I gotta have my hat.

See ya.

Goodbye, Hock.

Cody, Belle,

Lillian.

- Bye.

- Goodbye, guys.

Hey, hold on just a minute.

Basham,

cut that mutt loose.

Get going.

Daddy, please please please.

- Please.

- Why not?

Thank you, Grandpa.

Don't thank me.

You spoiled him.

- I what?

- He's spoiled.

You know what, Grandpa?

If you call that spoiled,

then there's a heck

of a lot more spoiling

that needs to be done around here.

And if you're too stubborn

and you're

too fuzzle-headed

and you're too stupid

to realize that,

then I'm just gonna have

to do it myself.

There's gonna be

some changes around here.

Is that okay

with you, Dad?

Are you asking me?

For starters,

I don't trust him with my puppy.

What?

And...

Grandpa needs someone

to pat him on the head

and tell him he's okay.

You got it, kid.

Hey! Hey, just a minute.

There was no talk

about her being permanent.

Can it, Grandpa.

When you're done

standing around,

you can meet me out

by the compost heap.

Someone's gotta do

some work around here.

- Belle, be good. Brush your teeth.

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