All That I Am Page #4

What, yeah, alright, fine,

I'm a baby, but you know what?

Ha! You hear that?

My fifty year old

uncle is a baby.

Did you say fifty?

Come on! Chris!

- Nope.

- Just one time.

Chris.

Told you not to touch me

with that thing.

You're on drugs.

Like a f***ing crazy person.

Pretty sure you're on drugs.

[music playing d]

Hey.

You know any boys that like

kissing girls with warts

That's what you're gonna get

if you keep touching those

things.

I don't kiss boys.

Fair enough, Charles.

Fair enough.

Don't touch me with

those things. Jesus.

If you didn't know me, and you

just saw on the street,

how old do you--

would you think that I am?

I don't know. Forty?

- Don't be an a**hole.

- Walk faster.

Do you feel sick?

- No. Why, do you?

- Yep.

Like, stomach-sick?

Or nauseous-sick?

Or like, home sick?

Or...what kind of sick?

All of the above, my friend.

All of them?

Except for home-sick.

Yeah, I guess you wouldn't

miss your apartment.

Two subways, and then

the Metro-North and the bus.

That's crazy!

Hi, you guys.

- Charlie, hey!

- Hi Kate!

You guys go to town?

Do you know why birds don't

get electrocuted when they're

on wires?

No.

- Mom?

- No. I don't know.

Cause they're not grounded.

Isn't that the stupidest thing

you've ever heard?

Like, what does that

even mean?

You're the stupidest thing

I've ever heard.

Who's that man outside?

Um, that is--that is...

Christian's friend.

- Oh.

- What?

How can you--how does that

even possibly make sense

to you?

That's not my friend.

That guy is old.

That's my friend's Dad--

who is a lot older. Christ.

Charlie, go in

and wash your hands.

Okay.

What, I don't want her thinking

that I hang out,

like, with creepy old guys

who do karate in the grass.

She already has no concept

of age as it is.

Jesus. I forgot that

he did that sh*t.

I know, so did I.

What's up with, um, Alan?

What do you mean?

I heard you guys this morning.

Oh god, Christian, grow up.

People have problems.

They work 'em out,

it's not a big deal.

Life isn't just,

one big party.

Yeah, alright,

you said that already.

Well, it seems like

I have to keep repeating it.

Here, the last thing I want is

him passing out in

my front lawn.

I told Charlie to go a friend's

from six to nine, so..

Dinner?

It's pretty silly-looking,

isn't it?

It's from Susan.

Well, I was feeling a little

bit thirsty. Thank you, Susan.

Sorry, go ahead?

No, nothing.

It's not my business, right?

No, no. What?

What is it?

Um...the girl.

Who is she?

She was one of his patients.

I know he seems like a really

charming man, Kate.

She also wanted me to pass

along to you are invited

to dinner,

if you would like.

- Oh, that's great.

I'd love to come to dinner,

I've got some things to do

in town,

but I'll be back for dinner.

Well--I mean, we're walking

into town, if you want to join.

Thanks. Um, I got some stuff

I gotta do here first,

so I'll probably go in later,

but you can bet I'll at dinner.

- Thank Susan for me, will ya?

- Yep.

Heard your meeting

didn't go well.

Really, I hear you've been

quite the partier.

What is it with this

parties thing?

I go out sometimes.

That's what people do

in the city, they go out.

Other times, I stay home

and I read.

So, when you're not

at home reading...

How long do you think it took

for me to find out about that

college girl?

What, like a week

after we broke up.

Yeah, kinda like that uh,

kind of like that tattoo guy?

From your building?

First of all, we've never.

Second of all, at least

he's an adult.

What does--what does

that mean?

Well, was is she?

Eighteen?

Oh, Jesus Christ.

are we gonna just make this

about a girl being younger

and uh...hey, hey Charles?

Can you keep up?

Younger and what?

About a girl being

younger than you.

- Dude.

- Christian.

- What?

- I gotta pee.

Alright, yeah, come on,

we'll go pee.

Together.

You were gonna say younger

and prettier.

[Pat]

Mr. Lynn!

Pat!

Holy sh*t.

- Hey, Pat.

- Hey, Squirt.

Pat, dude.

Holy sh*t, man,

how are ya?

You look good, man.

I feel good.

You smell good, too.

Of course I do.

You decided on a bike yet,

Charlie?

No.

Tryin' to get this

one on a moped.

Yeah. Oh, this is

my friend Kate.

Pat, Kate.

Can I go to the bookstore?

Yeah.

We'll meet you at the grocery

store in like, half an hour?

Nice to meet you.

So how long are you staying?

Uh, just a couple days.

Yeah? Is Win here?

Is Win around?

Chris?

Um. Yeah.

Yeah, he's on his way up.

Grab a beer.

So what is there to get

into up here, nowadays?

Honestly, I don't even

know anymore.

Remember that kid Jerome

used to hook us up?

He pretty much settled down,

two kids.

- What?

- Yeah.

That f***ing guy?

Yeah, for a couple

of years now.

I was wonderin' if I was

gonna bump into you.

I saw your Dad walk into

McAfee's with that girl.

What's going on there?

Alan, please, I would really

like it if you stayed tonight.

Look, it's just really weird,

Susan.

I don't wanna be here.

And I don't think Charlie

should be either,

but that's up to you.

Oh, come on, Alan.

I'll call you tonight.

Het got called in.

He's not gonna be

able to make dinner.

Aw, that's a shame.

Really would've like

to have met him.

Yeah, he's really great.

He loves Charlie a lot, so...

Everybody inside?

They all went to town.

I have to get back

to making dinner, so--

Can I help?

Would that be okay?

I can't cook, but I can dice

and chop with the best of 'em.

Sure, I'll find something

for you to do.

-- to be this big deal

around here,

because she was so young,

and she was a patient of his.

Not to mention how protective

everyone was of my mother,

cause she was sick,

it was on the news,

Susan hadn't been

in town for awhile...

Did he see you?

No. She and him were

just sitting there,

- Win's here!

--drinking coffee.

Like nothin--

- Yo. Hey.

- Hey.

- I just saw Dad in town--

- You remember these?

We scared the sh*t out of Susan

with these things,

like did we blow up

her dollhouse?

He was with Annie Patsy.

- Wait, what?

- He was with Annie Patsy.

I mean--

I think her hair

was different,

like she's a person now,

you know, but that was her.

God dammit...alright, listen,

just relax, let's think this

through.

I mean, we don't know

what they were...

It's just a dinner, there's no

reason to ruin it for Susan.

How--what are you--

ruin it for Susan?

We bring it up, and this whole

night's going to turn

into some...

I mean, she's all glowing

because of my thing today,

and everybody's... I mean,

they're cooking together

downstairs.

Oh yeah, right. Yeah.

How'd it go by the way?

Oh, it was whatever.

Stupid.

Um, well did you get a office?

I mean, what, do they

give you money?

Yeah, this small little off--

I mean, it's nothing.

- Why do you that?

- What?

Why do you always downplay your

sh*t in front of me?

Like oh, it's nothing,

it's small, like,

like you think I'm not

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