All That I Am Page #6

What are you doing?

What are you like, are you

trying to segue into what,

Nah, how could you have a

problem if you haven't OD'd?

No, you've managed to keep it

on this recreational level.

That way we can all

pretend everything's fine,

but it's not.

You've changed, man.

It's been like this since--

Oh my god.

- It's been like--

- Shut up.

It's been like this

since Mom died.

- There it is.

- He's right, Christian.

Please spare me the

psychological bullshit

just for tonight. Okay?

You know, I thought having to

stomach Dad for this weekend

wasn't gonna be enough.

Come on, I mean at what you've

been doing all these years since

she died.

What?

What the f*** you have

you been doing?

A**hole, she means that you've

been obsessing about it

for the last five years,

writing it down.

Wait a minute.

Is this wh--

Is this why you're here,

is this why you invited her

here?

So you guys can sit me down

right now, and have this talk?

You're such like a lonely--

what are you even doing here

in the first place?

What, like you call my family

and tell them I have a drug

problem

cause you don't have a family

of your own to deal with?

Christian, stop it, she doesn't

have call your family,

you think that--you think that

I can't see myself

that you're throwing

your life away?

Okay, Susan?

Go f*** yourself.

You? The girl is prettier

than you. So what?

And you? You know what?

I didn't go to your

f***ing reading.

And if you think that anyone

can endure this sh*t,

without at least

being a little high,

you're out of your

f***ing mind.

[vomits]

Jesus.

You okay?

You looking for Kate?

You were were kind of rough

on her before.

If there was button I could

press to take Win's prize away,

I would.

No, you wouldn't.

Do you feel happy when

you hear good news?

Other people's good news?

Even your best friend,

I mean genuine happiness.

I don't know how I felt when

Mom died,

but I remembered this sense

that the whole thing

would make me appear more

interesting,

isn't that f***ed up?

I actually thought her death

would improve my image.

Yeah.

Goodnight.

I left your present

by the couch.

[raindrops falling]

- You need more blankets?

- Hmm?

Were you cold last night?

Uh-uh. I'm fine.

You know it's not your fault,

right?

He's always taken

advantage of you, Christian.

You're the...

...sensitive one.

You were gonna say weak.

No, I wasn't.

Came in here to make

nice with you.

So go ahead.

I just did.

That was you making nice?

Yeah, it was.

Sweet dreams.

[birds chirping]

Hey. What'd he take?

I don't think he took

anything out of here.

I think just Mom's writing,

from the other shed.

That makes sense.

Probably the only reason

he came back.

It's just as well.

Oh come on, we weren't

doing anything with it,

it was just rotting in there.

Oh, hey!

At least he didn't take

Mom's typewriter.

Check it out,

this is sweet.

That's not Mom's,

that's yours.

How so?

That's your present,

I forgot it was in here.

- Really?

- Yeah.

The guy said Hemingway

used the same kind.

Aw, Susan. Thank you,

this is awesome.

- You're welcome.

- Thank you.

Well, I guess we're

doing presents now.

Want me to get your putter?

What?

What putter?

What, you told him

what you got him?

No, he didn't tell me--

I got it.

Come on, Susan,

We get our own gifts, now.

You guys get our own gifts?

And...

I didn't get you anything,

and I'm sorry.

Susan, seriously,

I'm sorry.

Just tell me what you want,

I'll get it.

Okay. I know what I want.

Okay.

One month, sober.

You asked me what I wanted.

Okay.

One month,

we'll take it from there.

One day at a time.

Alright.

Fine.

Just as long as we don't

ever say anything like that,

ever again.

Then I'll do it.

I'm gonna kill myself.

- Thank you.

- No, Susan, thank you.

What do you think?

Yeah, I'm so far from able

to answer that question.

Not bad.

When do you want

to take off?

Hey, can you take Kate?

- Yeah. Why?

Just tell her, uh...

Never mind, I'll tell her.

Okay.

You uh...

[ping]

I'm just gonna stay here

a couple days.

What are you gonna do?

Well, first...

load the magazine

in the well.

Slide the cocking handle

until it clicks.

Place the butt flat

against my shoulder.

Aim down the sights till the

floating dot is right in

the middle.

[fwip]

[ping]

Guys. He left a note.

What's it say?

I don't know, nothing.

And he goes on and on and on,

but it's just the same crap.

It's meaningless,

I don't know, it's talk.

It's just talk.

What do you think this is?

[music playing d]

d

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