All The Boys Love Mandy Lane

(blade swishes / girl screams)

(bell rings)

# Your heart

is always almost beating

# Along with windy frozen tunes

# But you say you've laughed enough

# Your closet's stuffed

with last year's blues

# But you know by summertime

# Your suicide's just last year's news

- Hey.

- Hey.

- Good to go?

- Hm-hmm.

Mandy Lane.

- Hi.

- Someone got f***ing hot this summer!

- Thank you.

- Shut up, f*ggot.

Hey, Mandy.

- Hey, why don't you come with us?

- Jake, there's no room.

There's plenty of room.

- Where are you guys going?

- (blond boy) My place.

Little pool party.

Sure, we'll go.

Who's "we"?

- Yeah, who's "we"?

- You and me.

Sweet.

# What will we find

inside of your room?

# Notes in the margins

# Records always spinning

# Clues you know you want all to know

# Your little soul grew old too soon

# And surprises lost their thrill

# The cut and pills and...

- (banging on door)

- Open up, man!

(door rattles)

(water splashes)

What, no bathing suit? That sucks.

No big deal.

Just go in your underwear.

You have no idea how hot you are,

do you?

No. This is cute.

- I like this. What is this?

- Stop!

Come on, don't be shy about it.

Strip right here.

Let everyone see what colour

those panties are.

What the f***?

(laughter)

F***ing dick!

Dude!

Laugh now, you f***ing dick!

Dylan, stop.

(gasps)

Mandy, I was just playing around

with this kid.

Mandy, no... He saved my life, man.

This guy, he's amazing.

He's a winner.

You're f***ing amazing, you know that?

- (Mandy) So you're OK?

- I'm fine.

Fine.

(music and chatter)

(Dylan) Hey.

Easy, easy.

I come in peace.

What, she won't talk to you now?

- That figures.

- Look...

Let's just play nice and be friends

and get the f*** off my roof.

OK?

So how are you gonna do it?

Do what?

Seal the deal.

I mean, look. Look down there.

Every stupid f***ing idiot

has the exact same goal.

What makes you any different?

I don't need to be different.

Jesus, are you f***ing listening to me?

I know her.

She's not gonna fall for some jock

who tried to drown her best friend.

Face it, man, you're boring.

You're a f***ing marshmallow,

like an American Idol...

Get off my f***ing roof, Emmet.

(snorts)

- This went well.

- What are you doing?

Whoa, whoa!

- Careful, man.

- Look.

She's looking at us right now.

Waiting to see what you do.

Well?

It's not that far.

You've f***ing done this before, right?

She'll love it.

She... I promise.

Whoa! You know what?

F*** it, you're too drunk.

Don't!

Don't tell me I'm too f***ing drunk

in my own f***ing house.

I'll do it with you, then.

Come on!

Let's jump for Mandy.

See if she can catch us.

(girl) Dylan, get down from there.

You, too, you f***ing loser.

Ready?

One.

Two.

Three.

- Mandy Lane!

- # Today

# It's gonna be

# Such a good day

# Such a good day

# Today is gonna be

- (panicky voices)

- (boy) Somebody get help!

# Such a good day

# To say goodbye

# Today is gonna be such a good day

(girl) Oh, no!

Hey, you stupid f***!

Look what you made him do!

(boy) What the hell just happened?

# Eagles, Eagles, we're the best!

Better than all the rest!

# Eagles, Eagles, we're number one!

So let's go have some fun!

# Eagles, Eagles, we're the best!

Better than all the rest!

# Eagles, Eagles, we're number one!

So let's go have some fun!

(whooping)

There she is, boys.

Mandy Lane.

Untouched.

Pure.

Since the dawn of junior year,

men have tried to possess her,

and to date, all have failed.

Some have even died

in their reckless pursuit of this angel.

I've invited her out to my ranch

this weekend.

My kingdom.

So I ask you, gentlemen,

am I the sh*t?

To which I reply, yes, I am.

But will she come?

(they pant)

Hey!

Hi.

Chloe! Chloe, listen.

- F*** off, Red.

- Is she in?

I'm working on it.

- (blows whistle)

- Let's water up!

What's up, man?

(pants) She better come, dude.

(friend) She'll be there.

And I got first dibs.

Yeah, we'll see about that.

I can see your nipples.

Obviously.

- How do you get 'em that hard?

- It's a secret.

(whoops) You go, Mandy Lane!

# Talking about us, telling lies

# Well, that's a surprise

# Can you see them?

See right through them?

# They have no shield,

nothing must be revealed

# It doesn't matter what they say

# In the jealous games people play

(he gasps)

# Our lips are sealed

- (girls cheer)

- (Emmet) Mandy!

Finished it.

Not now, Emmet.

Um, Mandy's, like, busy.

She doesn't have time for love poems.

Creepy boy.

Can't he take a f***ing hint?

Not friend any more.

(Chloe) Go jump off a roof, Emmet.

(laughter)

Check out what I just got.

Is it contagious?

Does it explain that thing

on your face?

(laughs)

(mimics her laugh) Whatever,

smarty-c*nt. Seriously, check it out.

Tasty, huh?

Marlin, don't get me wrong,

but you're all pudge.

That thing's gonna get lost

in the folds.

I'm not fat.

OK.

I think it's nice, Marlin.

Hey! You're coming this weekend,

right?

- Right.

- You OKed it with your aunt?

- I will.

- Well, you'd better.

You only finish junior year once.

(Red) Sh*t, dude!

She's coming.

She's coming to my ranch, dude!

Hey, Jake? Hmm?

I got first dibs though.

(laughs)

No, you don't!

Say it again, man. Say it again.

I don't need to say it again.

I only say things once.

Emmet's not going, is he?

No.

Bird's going.

Hold on! How many boys are going?

Aunt Jo, I can take care of myself.

- I know.

- These people invited me.

New friends. Don't you think

I should make new friends?

Wouldn't that be, like, good for me?

It is good to see you playing

with this new crowd.

- They seem very mature.

- They are.

And... And responsible and normal.

Just give her permission, Mother.

It seems to be going in that direction.

My parents would let me go.

- OK.

- Thanks.

But be careful.

I will, I will. Thank you, Aunt Jo.

(boy gasps)

(rustling)

(dog barks)

(running footsteps)

Would you like to hit this? Would you?

(girl) What's with all these marks?

Jake's hooked up with a girl

from each of those states.

There's, like, 40 states in California.

And the f***er's parents

are taking him to Alaska in August.

So who gets it this weekend?

Chloe.

And Mandy.

Yeah, right.

At the same time.

Has Jake said anything about

getting back together with me?

Not that I can think of.

Would you even tell me if he did?

No, ma'am.

(Chloe) Damn it!

I am trying to f*** your best friend

here.

- Give me a little cooperation.

- Alright.

(turns up volume)

# Well, I keep on thinking 'bout you

# Sister golden hair surprise

# And I just can't live without you

# Can't you see it in my eyes?

# I've been one poor correspondent

# I've been too, too hard to find

# But it doesn't mean

you ain't been on my mind

# Will you meet me in the middle?

# Will you meet me in the air?

# Will you love me just a little?

# Just enough to show you care?

# Well, I tried to fake it

# I don't mind saying

# I just can't make it

Hey, man, Check this out.

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