All We Had Page #4

It's not easy.

It's hard.

And you got a rough deal,

i know that.

Do you know what my father used

to say to me

when I was growing up?

Hang around with sh*t,

and sh*t gets on ya.

I saw a kid with potential

hanging around with sh*t,

and sh*t's getting on ya,

is that what you want?

No, Ms. Frankfurt.

Do you want to hang out

with losers

and get high on school property,

is that what you wanna do?

No, Ms. Frankfurt, I'm sorry.

But you want to be in that crowd

that does drugs?

You think they're cool?

'Cause they're not cool.

'Cause I have to suspend you

for three days

because we have a zero-tolerance

policy in this school

for all alcohol and drug use.

Do you understand me?

Yes, Ms. Frankfurt.

Ruthie:
I had never been

in trouble before.

High school was harder

than I thought.

I didn't want to have to tell

my mom what happened.

I didn't want to disappoint her.

Mom, you need a doctor.

Rita:
Hmm-mm.

Sweetie, we can't afford that.

I don't think

the nyquil's working.

Ruthie:
Suddenly my problems

were such smaller

when I saw my mom

in so much pain.

You're gonna be okay, mom.

Hey.

-Whoa.

-Rita:
Hi.

Jesus, she needs a shower, huh?

Ruthie:
She's too weak.

No, no, I gotta go.

I just wanted to stop by.

I got a closing.

-Bye.

-Rita, coughing:
Come here.

It'll be okay.

Oh, ruthie.

Ms. Frankfurt.

I don't know where else to go.

But my mom is really sick.

We need a doctor.

All right, come on in, honey.

Come on!

-Ruthie:
Thank you.

-Frankfurt:
Hurry up.

Hi, Rita.

What's your name?

-I'm Jacob.

-Oh.

Okay.

My lungs are pretty bad, too.

Faster.

Jacob:
Yeah, I can tell.

But it seems your heart

is healthy.

Love you.

Ruthie:

When I got back to school,

everything had changed.

And I realized...

So had I.

We were already behind

on our house payments.

The more time we took to pay,

the more we had to pay.

Plus, business

at tiny's had slowed.

I was afraid we'd never

catch up.

Mmm.

I'm not drinkin' alone.

Can I have some of that?

Yes, you may.

Say when.

-Mmm, looks good.

-Yeah, okay.

Oh, my gosh!

Long day.

They're all long days.

My god, it's just so tough.

So tough.

Day after day.

Man:
Yeah, man,

at least their light's on.

-Three.

-Go fish.

I got lucky.

Yeah, you did.

Do you have a Jack?

Oh, we're closed.

No, no, no!

Hold on, hold on.

No, uh...

Uh, these boys look hungry.

We'll get 'em something to eat.

-Here, I'll get you some menus.

-I got it.

-Marty:
You sure?

-Pam:
Mm-hmm.

Did you know that there's

a giant electrical storm

on the planet saturn

right now?

Man:
No.

And lightning there is like

a thousand times more powerful

than lightning on earth.

Can you imagine?

Did you guys decide

what you wanna have?

-Here, let me help you.

-I got it.

-You should go home.

-Mom, I wanna help.

You got school tomorrow.

You got homework.

I've already done my homework.

It's late.

You're drunk.

What?

I'm not drunk!

You're drunk.

You know how many people

have a glass of wine

or a beer

at the end of a long day?

Don't be such a nag.

Nag, nag, nag!

Naaaaag!

-Ruthie:
It's embarrassing.

-Rita:
Well, then go.

Ruthie:
I always knew

when my mom was scared

because she drank

more than usual.

I couldn't just leave her.

Man:
Come on, freak!

Yeah, you like that?

--Then take it.

Then take it.

You like that, huh?

Mom!

Marty!

Mom!

Ruthie:
When you live this close

to the bottom,

calling the cops

doesn't do any good.

Huh?

Stop!

Stop! Ugh!

Man:
F*ggot!

Ruthie:
I saw my mom get raped

when I was 11 years old.

I swore I would never

let that happen again.

Man:
You like it rough, huh?

Oh, yeah!

Stop.

Let her go!

Man:
F*** you! Ohh!

Stop it, get out of here!

Go! Get outta here!

Go, get outta here.

Don't come back!

Man:
F*** you, freak!

Are you okay?

Did they hurt you?

-Are you okay, ruthie?

-You weren't even here!

Ruthie:
It's all right.

It's all right.

Man:
Means a lot, and, Bruce,

I couldn't have done it

without you, truly.

So, thank you.

Some of you know my story.

Not all of you do.

Um...

I lost my wife

a little over two years ago.

Uh, she was at target,

and, uh...

She experienced an aneurysm

and then passed away.

And, uh...

You know, I don't really have

any family to speak of,

and so it was really a...

It was really just me

and my wife.

Excuse me.

But, uh...

Sorry.

It was just me and my wife.

Uh...

So...

You guys, uh...

Kind of became my family

after that.

And, uh...

When I washed up here,

I was sitting right

in that chair over there,

and, uh...

I was just very lost.

And, uh...

You people made me feel

very welcome.

Rita:
Ruthie, these cookies

are really good.

Ruthie?

Ruthie.

Talk to me.

How many times

can I say I'm sorry?

I'm sorry.

Ruthie.

I'm trying to clean up.

I wish you'd understand that.

Ruthie.

I just want things

to be good again.

-Good?

-Yes.

You turn everything you touch

to sh*t.

Come here.

-Can I get you some more coffee?

-Yeah, a little warm-up, thanks.

Ruthie:
The days felt longer

as business got slower.

And tiny's closed earlier

and earlier.

Hey.

Hey.

Do you mind?

No.

Ohh!

Did you know that, compared

to the size of the universe,

humans are one billionth

the size of an ant?

Hmm.

You know when it happened to me?

I didn't tell anybody.

'Cause I knew

what they would say.

And I felt dirty all over.

I didn't want to eat anything.

I didn't wanna swallow anything.

I walked around,

and I was like...

Nobody's ever gonna want me.

Ever.

I'm damaged goods.

You know what I mean?

It's like, well...

I'm really scared.

What are you scared of?

Sometimes god makes mistakes.

Do you think he made

a mistake with you?

I'm scared to live.

I won't even kill myself

because I'm scared of god,

I'm scared of...

You know, whatever is waiting

up there or down there.

Well, you survived this.

You can survive anything.

You just have to take

a deep breath.

I wanna move to New York City,

but I don't think

i can survive it.

Hmm.

Well...

I want you...

Lips.

Don't smile.

I challenge you not to smile.

No, really, seriously,

don't smile.

--Okay.

I want you to get up,

go back in your trailer,

put one of

those fancy dresses on...

And be you.

Group:
God, Grant me

the Serenity to accept

the things I cannot change,

the courage to change

the things I can,

and the wisdom to know

the difference.

Hey.

-Hey.

-How you doing?

I'm okay.

How are you?

Great.

What's going on?

Good meeting.

Yeah.

Get real good meetings in there.

How long have you been

coming to this?

I'm seven months sober now.

Just got seven months.

Not bad.

It's a start.

How you been doing?

-Eighteen days.

-That's great.

-I like that number.

-That is a great number.

It's gonna be different

tomorrow, but congratulations.

I was just driving one day

and I saw the sign,

and sometimes I think...

Like if I'm driving

and I see something,

I'm like,

"oh, I should do that."

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