Alleycats

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1

Alright?

Hello, girls.

Watch out!

There you go.

Right, I'll see you, boys.

Easy, fella.

Way-hey!

Yes, mate.

Just one today.

- Thank you, Chris.

- Thank you.

- Sorry.

- No, wait. Stop.

It's not what you think. No, wait. Wait.

- Stop him. Stop him!

- Merde!

F***! F***.

Stop!

Putain de sa race!

Christ!

No, wait, stop... stop,

it's not what you think. No, wait. Wait!

I think you'll find it on his desk.

Oliver Yates's office.

I'm afraid the minister is tied up

with party conference meetings

for the rest of the day.

If you're looking for a comment,

you'll need to speak

to our press officer.

Thank you.

Yates. Yates.

I never...

I never meant to kill her.

It was an accident.

She was gonna go to the press.

No, no. You broke her neck.

You don't get to blame her.

- Give me the package.

- They're blackmailing me.

Hey, I'll fix this.

No, that's absolutely fine.

I'll send him a message now.

Ok, then. Alright.

Thank you very much. Thanks.

Alright then, thank you.

Hey. Thank you, Chris.

Bye, then.

Hello. Yeah, it's me.

What do you think I'm doing?

Has Yates been in touch yet?

Well, why the f*** not?

Don't tell me to calm down.

It's alright for you. They saw my face.

If they haven't been in touch

by tomorrow,

then we take the tape to the police.

Look, f*** him! F*** his money!

We should never have started this.

F***.

Sid?

Will?

F***ing hell!

- Oh, my god.

- Sh*t, are you ok?

You scared...

You scared the sh*t out of me!

How'd you get in here?

- Well, you know me.

- I almost f***ing killed you.

Have you taken up golf?

You're such an old man.

It's will's. It's will's.

- So, how are you?

- Well, um, fine.

- I thought you were in oz.

- Yeah, I was.

- I missed the rain, didn't I?

- Yeah, I bet you did.

So, where am I sleeping?

Oh, what, till you decide

to f*** off again?

Ok. Yeah, I deserve that.

Look, I know I just left,

but I really messed things up and...

I'm only messing.

Ah, it's good to have you back.

I missed you, sis.

- Ah.

- I missed you too, bro.

But I hope

that you've learned some cooking,

because I know

I'm not getting rent off you, am I?

Sorry, give me one sec.

- Sh*t.

- What is it? What's wrong?

- Nothing.

- Don't look like nothing.

Kinda f***ed up.

Here, what's new? Oh, my days!

Look what the cat dragged in!

- Still pining for me?

- Desperately, babe. Well, come on.

- Are you ok?

- Uh, yeah. Yeah, I'm fine, honestly.

Don't worry about it.

Are you ready for that?

No.

...qualifications that

they will need in the marketplace.

- Oliver Yates, education minister...

- No. I'm not having it.

F***ing tax-dodging lizards, they are.

His wife's hot, though. I'd do her.

- Yeah, you'd say that, wouldn't you?

- Will.

What? F*** off!

- Yes, Danni.

- You alright, mate? Nice to see you.

- F***.

- Alright, Suze?

- Are you staying here?

- Yeah.

Someone's gonna love that, I tell you.

F***ing prick,

you nearly took out my front wheel.

I will fix it. Ok? F***ing...

- Danni.

- Jake.

- Trix.

- Look who's back.

Didn't think we'd see you again.

Um, yeah. Well...

What, you, like, found yourself

or run out of money?

If you're back for the Alleycats,

you're wasting your time.

There'll only be one winner.

Uh, I don't think she flew halfway

round the world for an alleycat, mate.

Douchebag.

For five grand, I'd fly anywhere, mate.

- So, nothing's changed?

- Well, some things have.

Think you still remember

how to ride that?

Alleycat. Alleycat. Has she gone soft?

No, I think that was

always your problem, wasn't it?

Hey, amigos! Who's thirsty, f***ers?

Music to my ears, man.

Look out, motherfuckers!

Come on, Sid, get out of the way.

Sid.

Motherfuckers!

- Come on!

- Whoo!

Come on, amigos!

You alright, Suze?

Are you sure?

Come on. We want to partaay.

Yeah.

Alright, c'mon, none of that,

none of that. It's a party.

Let's find something

cool to do, guys, alright?

- Yeah!

- Hey, mate. Are you alright?

Ready to party hard,

you crazy motherf***er?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Good to be back, Pedro.

Hey! Yes, man!

What you saying, Sid?

Haven't seen you in time!

- Come here, man, have some of that.

- Ooh, nice.

- What do you think?

- Liking it, man.

Are you gonna have a go?

Chris! Oh, f***. Are you alright?

You need to slow down.

- How many have you had?

- Not that many.

- Are you alright?

- Yeah, yeah.

- I was gonna tell you something but...

- Yo! Yo, yo, dude.

Whoa. Dude, you're going in

at this party, man.

- Listen, I'm gonna get a tattoo, yeah?

- You what?

- Yeah.

- Oh, f***.

- Are you alright with them?

- That?

Forget it. I'm fine.

Don't worry about it.

- Yeah?

- It doesn't matter.

- Do you wanna talk?

- Yeah... no.

I'm wasted, man.

So, just leave it for now.

- Yeah?

- I'm fi... yeah, I'm...

- I'm just glad to have you back, sis.

- Yeah.

Yeah.

Danny. Yeah.

F*** it, we'll just...

- We should party.

- Let's party.

Yeah!

Come on!

Black with a splash of milk.

Like me.

Lifesaver. F*** me.

Mmm. Ah, mate. Thanks.

God, I feel rough.

Could be worse.

You could have a dick on your face.

Morning, ladies.

All ready for the alleycat? Huh?

You want to shut the f*** up, Sid,

cos I know it was you.

What are you saying, Jakey? Huh? Pumped?

I say coffee, man.

Ah, f***ing hell.

- You have a dick on your head.

- Yeah, yeah, I know.

- Morning.

- Good morning.

Hey, little sis, will you stay

on your bike this time?

Oh, mate, just don't.

Christ's sake, Suze, shut up, will ya?

Let someone else talk for a minute.

Mwah!

Come on then, pussies. Come on!

Up, up, up, up, up, up, up!

Ow!

- Are you coming?

- Nah, I'm gonna sit it out.

- You don't look too hot.

- Thanks. You stink. Shower, ok?

You do smell.

- What are you doing?

- Nothing.

Are you making me wait?

Whoo! Come on!

Pumped. Come on. Ha-ha.

You ready?

- See you at the end.

- Oi! Chris!

Hello. Hey.

- Try not to puke in the wind, alright?

- Are you ready for this? Are you ready?

Come on, guys, let's get this started.

- Are you glad I'm back?

- Hey, you changed your tune.

Bikes down. Come on, people.

Come on, f***ers!

- Hey, f***ing move.

- Come on, man!

Hey, come on, man. Behind the line.

There's no line.

- Danni's gonna stand here.

- F*** this sh*t, man.

- Don't forget the number-one rule.

- There are no rules.

F*** you, man. To win this race,

you must reach five checkpoints.

At each checkpoint,

you must get a stamp.

- Ok.

- See you at the finish, bro.

Miss a stamp

and you're disqualified.

You'd better get some good stuff

on that camera.

- Yeah, whatever, mate.

- First checkpoint on clement street.

Remember,

don't get caught by the police.

Ok, Chingones.

Get out of my way, man.

Ok. Cinco! Cuatro! Tres! Dos! Uno!

Go, go, go, go, go, go!

Wanker!

Whoo-hoo! Move!

Yeah!

Whoa!

Get out!

Watch out!

Come on, get out! Whoa! Move out!

Right, drink first, then stamp.

- Easy!

- Come on!

Stamp your card.

Next checkpoint, Ridley road market.

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