Aloha Page #4

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- I'm totally girlfriend-ing you right now.

- I like it.

I don't even remember

why we broke up.

Ha, ha, ha! Because you didn't

show up on our vacation.

I didn't mean to actually talk about that.

I had three days planned

in San Francisco.

I had things for us to do and things to

tell you, and you, um, stayed in Guam.

Guam? Really?

Don't pretend like you don't remember.

Aah! I've waited for this.

- If you calm down, I'll try and remember.

- l'm calm. This feels good.

Hey, you know what, I do remember.

You said, "lf you don't show up,

then that's it."

Because you're a workaholic

who creates work to avoid real work.

I'm still working on that.

But to me, you see,

a vacation can't be an ultimatum.

How can you relax on an ultimatum?

The whole concept is stressful.

You just had to show up.

I was looking for a gesture.

It didn't have to be bold,

just something.

I just wanted you to show up.

Hey)'-

I really loved you.

And, uh, you wrecked everything.

All our plans.

Loose plans.

And I put it back together by myself.

I found a life in spite of you,

and you need to hear this...

...because I've waited a long time

to tell you this. You need to hear this.

Maybe not all of it.

You can't just let people go.

Swinging to the beat

Of music soft and sweet I

I met a dusky maiden one day A'

With her naughty glance

And charming hula dance a'

She made me want to linger

And play a'

Naughty hula eyes

That slyly hypnotize a'

That cast a spell right from the start

- Okay, do you see what I mean?

- No, he said a lot, actually.

What did he say?

Well, for starters, he said:

"Good evening.

Welcome to my home."

Then he walked over to me and put

his hand on my shoulder and he said:

"I know you used to see my wife."

And then somewhere in there he said:

"Check out my manliness.

I've been working out." Right?

- And then, uh-- Right?

- I don't know. I don't know what he said.

No, that was the order. Yes.

He closed with, "I moved in

the second she was available...

...and I'm too handsome and happy

to ever see you as a threat.

Good evening."

Then he left with his beer.

- He said all that?

- And more. He's very talkative.

- Mom?

- Oh, honey.

- Hi, Mom.

- Hi.

How's this for winter formal?

I don't want her

to get one minute older.

I like the sleeves.

How I idolize

Those lovely hula eyes I

Wow, she looks just like you.

Thank God.

And stole my heart away M'

Mr. Gilcrest?

Cool room.

Thanks.

- The Corona Borealis constellation.

- Yeah.

- Wow. Nice collection.

- Thanks.

My man.

That's very interesting.

- A lovely couple.

- Mm-hm.

Did you almost marry my mom?

Many, many times.

Why would anybody break up

with my mom?

- What's that?

- That's The Arrival.

The Arrival.

The fourth and fifth signs are lining up.

Sacrifice

and the healing of his wounds.

Are you Lono?

How does the myth end,

so I know how to plan my summer?

The Arrival myth ends

when Pele claims Lono...

...and takes him to her volcano

for a thousand years of...

...uh, revenge sex.

To be eased only through eruption...

...and the creation

of the next Hawaiian island, Loihi.

Then you become raindrops.

That's not a bad deal.

- Mr. Gilcrest'?

- Brian.

Brian.

You are Lono.

- Just flip it around.

- You wanna see it? Here.

Wow.

I'm so touched by the hula.

Aren't you?

It's just such an expressive gift.

My teacher tells me

that my arms are the problem.

No, not a problem.

Don't think about your arms.

Just address the land and the sky...

Woody, you ready?

- Fixed?

- ...and the water.

Fixed.

She's got a wicked hula.

Majorly, captain.

Beautiful.

Okay, everybody, let's do it.

- I'm Lono.

- Heh, heh, heh.

I love him.

Dude, I love my lawn.

I know.

Love my lawn.

All right, you two.

Mm. Ahem.

- There you go.

- Thank you.

General Dixon. Sh*t is going on.

- Nice to see you.

- Happy holidays.

Good to see you, sir.

Whoo.

Happy holidays, sir.

- How are you?

- Hello, general.

You got it every day, girl a'

Wish that I could love you now I

Get it, get it, get it. Yeah.

- You guys want something to drink?

- Uh...

Yeah.

I'll take a Kamehameha lemonade.

- Same for you?

- Mm-hm.

- Got it.

- l'll help.

I'm satisfied

You blow my mind I'

Can I get two Kamehameha lemonades

and a Jack and Coke, please?

Outstanding

So outstanding a'

Girl, you knock me out X

Can I have a beer, please?

- Whoa.

- Careful.

- Did you feel that?

- What's that?

They say the menehune come in

with wind...

...and they haunt

the Officers' Club at night.

And they mess with the photos

of the old airmen.

Captain, come on.

Not every noe lani is a puka lani.

Not every gentle mist

is a gate to heaven.

Nice.

What is the future?

You blow my mind, baby A'

The future isn't just something

that happens.

It's a brutal force

with a great sense of humor...

...that'll steamroll you

if you're not watching.

But we're all gonna take a girls' trip

in her minivan.

- Great.

- Love it.

- We're leaving the kids and just going.

- Okay.

I'm satisfied

I'm satisfied a'

Outstanding

You're so outstanding, yeah a'

How is it that a high-ranking

professional is alone on the holidays?

Well, I don't hook up, I get deployed.

- Tell me about it.

- You know the truth.

I mean, two years is too long to keep

anything going, and I'd rather be alone.

It's been guys who are like me.

I call them "Alone Togethers."

- Maybe you should go civilian next time.

- Heh, heh, are you kidding me?

Can you think of a way

to make "I'm a fighter pilot" sexy?

Well, you just have to work

on your delivery, Ng.

I'm a fighter pilot.

Try going a little lower.

I'm a fighter pilot.

See, that's just strong stuff.

I think that just works.

Hmm. Kamehameha.

All right. I'm gonna--

I'll see you at the table.

- Out here. Out here.

- Thank you for the camaraderie.

- "Everybody Wants to Rule the World."

- Coming right up, sir.

Don't stand up, Gilcrest.

- On second thought, do stand up.

- lt's good to see you, general.

Is it true you cut a deal with Bumpy

for the blessing?

Carson Welch is very impressed

with you.

He's important to us,

so don't screw this up.

- Yes. Two mountains, cell phone service.

- Half a mountain, no cell phone service.

General Dixon, sir.

Gilcrest, don't give me

any more reason to dislike you.

I didn't know you disliked me.

Happy holidays, bottom feeder.

Happy holidays, general.

Even while we sleep I

We will find you

Acting on your best behavior a'

- What did you say to Dixon?

- I let him insult me.

He loves you. You are bringing

a very studly game to Brave Angel.

I want you to have this.

From Carson Welch's people.

It's a gift to give Brave Angel.

- Oh, what is it?

- New codes. That's all I know.

Welcome to your expanded

job description.

Carson wants to speak to you.

Wait in the hallway.

What, now?

Now.

Everybody wants to rule the world I

There's a room

Where the light won't find you N

Nice work, Gilcrest.

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