Alone for Christmas Page #4

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And it's a disappointment.

I... Just because

you are unhappy doesn't mean

that you have to make

everyone one else unhappy.

- Dad, look.

- No you look.

This holiday season

is about sharing and caring,

and about being jolly.

You think you could be jolly,

just for one day.

- Dad.

- Hey, let me finish alright?

Christmas is about

your little sister.

She still believes in the magic.

Don't ruin that for her.

You gotta focus on the big things

not the little things.

Now what did you want to say?

Is the spare tire a little thing

or a big thing?

The spare tire is a little thing.

But it's a big...

Oh! Hey!

That's my tire!

It doesn't make sense.

Why would a family leave

their dog here a whole week.

Maybe it's not their dog?

Maybe it's a stray that wondered

in through the doggie door.

I knew the Connelly's had

a little yapping puppy but...

could be they have another dog

the quiet one that keeps to himself.

You'll know me.

You know what I do for a living.

I'm not gonna do it for a measly

$50 dollars this time.

I want $60.

The rest of that bean burrito.

It's a chimichanga.

Deal.

So cuz, I'm not sure

what kind of breed this is.

It shouldn't be much of a problem.

I don't think he bites.

They all have a bite.

I've been doing this for years.

I've seen every kind

of Canis Lupus Familiaris.

You see that there chief?

3 stiches from a Great Dane.

Who didn't care to be put down.

This bite mark here.

Courtesy of a chihuahua.

Angry little cus name pepi.

Came into inches of cutting

into a vital artery.

Suppose you get a lot of scars

in your business.

Nothing like the one

that I got here.

The mental scar

that will haunt me forever.

So, we was traveling back

from the port of Bordeaux.

A small single engine plane

carrying a cargo of illegal,

endangered animals...

Fourteen French Toy Poodles.

Since when are poodles

endangered?

Crash landed

in the middle of the Atlantic.

Eleven men went into the water.

Plane went down in 12 minutes.

Didn't see the first poodle

for about half-an-hour.

Eleven-incher.

You know how you can tell

that in the water, Chief?

No.

By lookin' from the rhinestone collar

to the poofy tail.

Because we were smugglers,

no one was looking for us.

Very first light, Chief,

doggy come cruisin' by,

Wagging his little tail.

And that Poodle,

he looked right at you.

Look you right in the eyes.

See poodles have lifeless eyes.

When he's coming,

he doesn't seem to be livin'...

Till he bites ya,

The ocean turns red,

and despite all your poundin'

and your hollering

those poodles come in and...

they rip you to pieces.

Hold up. Wait a minute.

Are you sure these poodles

aren't possibly sharks?

I told you,

we were carrying poodles.

Why would we be flying

with a cargo of sharks?

Yeah man,

don't ask stupid questions.

I've never been so frightened.

Waitin' for my turn.

I'll never put on a lifejacket again.

Them dogs,

they could of taken us

all out all at once. But they just...

let us bob in the water

like squeaky toys.

It's not their teeth that

are dangerous; it's their mind.

They're crafty.

And that's their bite.

And that's the worst bite

of them all.

Bite huh.

Wait till you get a load of my bite.

How long is this gonna take?

Yeah, I kinda need to use the John.

Can't go to the dog.

Gotta let the dog come to you.

Just go. Make it quick.

We got a nibble.

- Reel him in.

- Not so fast...

we don't want to spook him.

Doofus, will you ever learn?

Hey! I got it.

Hooked it!

Yep.

Yep.

Now!

Man, he's a strong one.

A real fighter.

He's either he's very smart

or very dumb.

Guys. Guys.

No.

I think he's caught up

on something.

You guys have got to...

Must have gone under the house.

Where have you been?

You missed all the action.

We almost had him.

I think we should just go home.

It's still a little time for caroling.

This dog is a tricky one.

He's smart.

But he hasn't met me.

I'm gonna be a shock

to his system.

- I don't get it.

- Me neither.

See I have this cattle prod

and you shock animals with it.

We didn't see that.

Yeah, it's like electricity.

High-voltage.

Yeah we understand now.

Yeah.

Why don't you boys stay here

and watch a master.

Do his work. Ha.

Here poochie, poochie, poochie.

Come on where are you,

you little mutt.

You think

you're smarter then me? Huh?

Let's turn this baby up to 10.

We'll see how smart you are.

What was I thinking?

Come on. Come out,

come out wherever you are.

Come on.

Are you my mama?

What?

Are you my mama?

Mama. I love you.

- Mama. I want to pee.

- Baby have to pee.

Why you! Kidding me.

What happened guys?

Did we get'em?

Hey cuz, you okay?

I'd like a chimichanga please.

Sure, sure, sure.

Here you go.

- You okay to drive?

- Drive? Okay.

Great. Buckle up.

See you at the family barbecue.

This is taking longer

then we planned.

I have to get the van back

to the fish market for delivery.

So, fine that dog

and put him to sleep.

Sleep huh. I have plenty

more tricks up my collar.

Sweet.

What's the matter doggie?

Stuck in the laundry chute?

It serves you right.

You little trouble maker.

Who did that?

Is that the dog?

Guys I'm stuck.

And very claustrophobic.

I shouldn't have had

that bean dip.

One glass ornament.

Didn't hurt dog.

You're gonna have

to try harder than that.

Huh. One pointy lawn dart.

That burns.

Come rob a house they say.

Oh, steal a whole bunch

of presents they say.

What's going on?

Help me. Jake Somebody.

Anybody.

Rob what are you doing

in the laundry chute?

- I thought I lost a sock.

- Huh?

I'm stuck and there is something

very sharp in my butt.

- Is that jingle bells?

- I thought it was the dog.

You though the dog

knew Jingle Bells?

Just get me out of here.

Stretch your leg up towards me.

It was a lawn dart

The walls are closing in.

I just got skewered and...

Oh gosh! Give me

some warning will you!

Hold on.

Anybody out there?

Anybody?

Get me out of here.

I can't reach you from here.

I got an idea.

Wait.

It's getting kinda hot in here.

Are you okay dear?

I've worked for the big guy

quite some time.

Mostly herding reindeer.

You are so lucky!

Santa what I really want for

Christmas is a raw hayed steak,

A pigs ear, A new tennis ball.

Oh, and one of those

plastic hot dogs

that squeak when you into them.

But most of all,

I want my family to have a safe

and happy holiday.

That and a squeaky hot dog.

Okay, we're all good.

There spare is on.

But now we don't have any dogs

for Christmas.

Oh, honey, don't you worry.

We are gonna find Columbus.

KC don't forget,

Bone is perfectly safe and happy.

Hello?

Yes it is.

Listen, before you get mad at me

I just want to let you know

there is a perfectly good explanation.

- Explanation?

- Yes.

What explanation?

Umm, explanation

is why I can't find Steve.

- Steve?

- Steve!

Who is Steve?

You don't know your dog's name?

Are you kidding me.

Wait, is it wrong number?

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