Along Came Polly

I, Reuben, take you, Lisa--

I, Reuben, take you, Lisa,

to be my lawfully wedded wife.

I do. I do.

Hey, Lois.

The room looks beautiful.

Oh, thanks. And all the candles

have been replaced...

with these mini-lamps you asked for,

so now no more fire hazard.

Great.

Hey, did we sanitize these things?

Reuben!

- The best man is in the house! Ohh!

- Oh!

- Oh, my God!

- Sandy, you okay?

Jorg, ice.

The best man went down.

Dance floor's like a Slip 'N Slide, dude.

I thought I told them not to wax this.

Twenty-three percent of the guests

are over 7 0.

I don't want anyone breaking a hip.

Okay. Don't worry.

l'm gonna take care of it.

All right. I analyze risk for a living.

lt's my job to worry.

Okay, let me do the worrying

'cause you gotta get married.

Right.

l'm good.

You got my note that

Harry Bard at table seven

is violently allergic to seafood?

Yes. His chicken will go

nowhere near the fish.

We're putting the finishing touches

on the cake.

This looks great. Lisa's gonna love it.

Hit me, dude.

Hey, aren't you that kid

from Crocodile Tears?

That's right. l'm Sandy Lyle.

Man, I saw that movie in high school.

That bagpipe scene,

that was the funniest sh*t, man.

We had a good time on that picture.

You want an autograph?

Ah, no, thanks.

lt's good to see you, man.

I thought you died,

like, 1 5 years ago.

Ah. Nah.

l'm very much alive, my friend.

l've been doing a lot of stage acting.

Getting back to my roots.

- Sandy, we should get going 'cause--

- They're making an

E! True Hollywood Story on me,

so that should clear up

a lot of your questions.

So they're really doing

one of those shows about your life?

Yeah. I got a camera crew

following me around

the next few weeks.

lt's gonna be huge.

Wow. That's cool.

Reuben. Two-minute warning.

Lisa's on her way down.

Okay, thanks.

Look, Reuben.

Yeah.

Now, l'm asking you this because

you're my oldest friend in the world.

Uh-huh.

And l'm your wingman.

Okay. What?

Are you sure you wanna do this?

Sandy, there's not a doubt

in my mind.

Okay? I found the perfect woman.

We're totally in love.

My life's working out

just like I planned.

Let's go get married.

Okay.

- [Glass Breaks]

- Mazel tov!

Go on. Kiss each other.

Big smile, everyone!

Come on. You love each other.

Smile, Grandma.

Having fun.

- ['Hava Nagila']

- [Yelling]

Whoa!

[Screams]

[Cloth Rips]

Ohh!

Hello, everybody.

l'm Stan lndursky, Reuben's boss.

Thank you. You're very kind.

Now, Reub's not the sort of fellow

to brag about his own success,

so l'm going to do it for him.

The fact is, this young man here...

is the best risk assessment expert...

in this whole meshugas

we call the insurance business.

lrving, Vivian,

you've raised a wonderful son.

Let's hear it for him.

Reuben, Lisa, let me just say...

that I would insure your marriage

any day of the week.

Mazel, you two. Good things.

[Woman]

Mazel Tov!

Oh, and, Lisa, don't tire him out

too bad on the honeymoon.

- I need this kid fresh when he gets back.

- [Laughing]

- Mazel, mazel! Good things.

- You know what, the truth is,

l've been waiting for this day

my entire life.

And about four and a half years ago,

I met a real estate agent named

Lisa Kramer,

[Woman]

Lisa!

who showed me an apartment,

which I rented

just so she'd go out with me.

I gave him a good price.

Yeah, not good enough.

She's a killer. No, seriously, um--

After about a month of dating,

I knew she was the one.

[Woman] Aw.

And I couldn't be happier...

that on this day that l've been

dreaming about for so long,

the woman l'm standing

next to... is you.

[Lisa Laughing]

Oh, my goodness!

I lost my shoe!

Look at this place!

Oh, it's so pretty!

lt's beautiful.

What?

[Screams]

How's your bruise?

lt's okay.

You know, it's a little sore.

You know, they really should tell you

if they'rejust gonna let komodo dragons

run loose around the hotel.

Really.

Oh! How about this one?

Let's see. 'Recently renovated colonial

in Montclair, three-bedroom.'

Sweetie, remember?

We took a virtual tour of this one

on the lnternet.

lt was perfect,

but just a little pricey.

Oh, right, right. That's right.

lt's probably off the market anyway.

Why do you say that?

'Cause I bought it.

You what?

I bought it!

Uh--

[Both Laughing]

Reuben, l'm in shock.

I mean, you just--you don't--

you don't do things like that.

You love it, right?

Yes, I do, but, Reuby--

We have a house!

Oh, my God,

we have a house!

Honey!

- Hi. Hello.

- [Laughs]

Oh!

- [French Accent]

How's it going?

- [Chuckles]

Uh, it's, uh, going great.

Thank you.

So I see you gang are new to the island.

I want to come have a meet with you,

show you my boat.

That is my boat there

on the sandbar.

- lt's very, uh, big.

- Yeah, it's pretty good size.

lt's good size.

So, tell me true,

are you guys for scuba?

What does that mean?

l'm like the unofficial

scuba king of St. Barts,

so if you are for scuba,

I take you out on the boat,

I show you the coral reef,

and we have kinda like a--

like a scuba party.

That sounds great,

but we're not certified,

so we're gonna have to pass.

That is no biggie.

I get you resort-certified

couple of hour.

- Oh, I have always wanted to try it.

- Yeah?

Good. My name is Claude.

What is, uh, you guys' name?

Uh, my name is Reuben.

This is my wife, Lisa.

'Leuban, '

I am here all afternoon.

All right, au revoir, Leuban, Lisa. Solid.

Solid.

Hi. Hello.

How's it going?

Leuban! Lisa!

Hey.

Hi!

Hello.

lsn't this exciting?

lt is. lt's fun.

You know what? I think l'm gonna

skip the scuba diving.

Reuben, no. You called eight hotels.

They all said that this guy was the best.

I know, but you know

how I am about boats,

and l'm feeling a little queasy.

Oh, no.

Your stomach's acting funny?

lt's okay now, but I think it might--

You know how it gets, you know?

So why don't you go?

We're on our honeymoon.

l'm not gonna go without you.

No! You've been wanting to try this.

I want you to go, okay?

No.

lt'll be fun. l'll pick you up

like at 4:
00, all right?

I love you.

I love you too.

Okay? Okay.

You're not for scuba, Leuban?

No, Claude.

- l'm gonna go run some errands in town.

- [Scoffs]

But you guys go. You have fun.

Can I talk to you for a second though?

- Of course.

- [No Audible Dialogue]

Hey, listen, this woman means more

to me than anything else in the world,

so be careful 'cause scuba can be

very dangerous if the proper

precautions aren't taken.

Leuban, look to me in my eyeball.

I promise you I take care of Lisa

as if she were my own flesh and blood.

Thank you.

Okay?

Okay.

Okay. Solid!

Okay. Solid.

Okay.

All right? Are you ready?

Yeah, yeah.

So is there gonna be

a little boat that comes over--

Alley-oop.

[Screams]

Oh!

Ha ha!

Au revoir, Leuban.

Bye-bye, honey!

I love you!

I love you!

We'rejammin'

Jammin; jammin; jammin'

l'm jammed

I hope you'rejammin'too

Jam's about my pride

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