Alpha Dog Page #5

this beautiful...

All right, all right,

all right.

- Nice to meet you.

- Yes, hi.

- Give her a kiss. Be a gentleman.

- Dad! Seriously!

Just f***ing

join in the fun, man.

FRANKIE:

No, you have fun.

I'm gonna go.

- Let me go, Dad.

- No, stay! The party's just getting started.

Come on, man,

smoke a doobie

with your old man!

- Have a drink!

- No!

- Come on. Something.

- No, Dad. Come on.

Who's your little friend?

You babysitting?

F*** you!

- Take the couch.

- All right.

- You good?

- Yeah.

Wake up.

Come on, you got

chores to do. Let's go.

- Hello?

- I f***ing hear you!

There's coffee. But Destiny

got up late, so I need you

to straighten up the house.

I'm supposed to clean up

after your party?

I'm hung over like a b*tch.

Don't argue with me.

I'm in no mood.

Hey, look, I come home here

yesterday, and your sh*t's

all over the house!

We had a deal, remember?

You get a job, you pay rent,

- or you work here.

- All right! F***!

- Get out of my room!

- Nice f***ing mouth.

F***ing dick.

Hey, don't worry about it.

I'll help you with the work.

Juergen's a botanist.

He grows everything

we eat right here.

Tomatoes, cucumbers, corn.

F***ing spices and sh*t.

Motherf***er's

a full-blown alcoholic,

smokes like a chimney,

but goddamn if we don't

eat healthy, right?

Oh, yeah.

Look at this sh*t

right here.

- Oh, boy!

- Daddy's pride and joy.

Of course, that greedy bastard

will smoke them all,

but it's Frankie's job

to take care of them.

Water them, pull the males,

throw a little eggshells

on them, every now and then.

- Dope.

- Yeah, right?

Well, f*** it.

Let's get to work.

(TELEPHONE RINGS)

- Sh*t. I'll be right back.

- All right.

- Hello.

- SUSAN:
Hey!

- Hey, girl.

- What's going on?

Nothing. Working.

You guys coming over?

- You got that sh*t?

- You know I do.

- Mom, we're going to Frankie's!

- Hey, did you talk to him?

It's all good.

- When will you be home?

- I don't know. Late, probably.

Darling, can you stay with

Julie and Sabrina tonight?

It's your father

and my anniversary.

Anniversary.

- You going to have a little sex or...

- That's disgusting!

Whatever. I'm interested.

I mean, really.

Are you going to

go down on him?

- Give him a little tubesteak boogie?

- No.

Oh, come on. Live a little.

I mean, you guys

have been married,

what, like, 500 years?

Keith Stratten!

I will smack

the sh*t out of you,

you little skunk!

All right, okay,

we're leaving.

You got your keys.

Let's go get

Sabrina and Julie.

Bye.

Hey! Yo! Yo! Youngblood!

Come here, man. Come here.

- Ladies. Dickwad.

- F*** you.

- Susan.

- Hi.

- Pleased to meet you.

- Sabrina. Julie.

- Dickwad.

- Hey, buddy. F***ing Keith, man.

Okay, okay,

let's go smoke

some f***ing weed, man!

- All right. Yo!

- Hey, but listen.

- No!

- Nobody mess up my sh*t, all right?

This house has never been

so f***ing clean.

- F*** you, dude.

- You f***ing suck at these games.

- You suck.

- You f***ing blow at this game, dude.

I don't f***ing blow.

You just died, man!

- I thought I was the other guy.

- No, dude, that's me.

- I thought I was playing the other dude.

- No. F*** you, dude.

You're f***ing high, dude.

- Yeah, I'm high.

- I'm ruined after five minutes of this sh*t.

This sh*t is creepy

as a motherf***er.

- You're a lightweight, dawg.

- I'm not a lightweight.

- Suck my balls.

- Dude, f*** you. Suck my balls, man!

You suck it, b*tch.

You f***ing wimp.

- So, how old are you?

- How old do I look?

About 12.

Oh, well, I'm 17,

but I do look really young.

I'm gonna kill your ass.

I'm gonna kill your ass.

Answer your phone.

Go. Go answer your phone!

- Suck it! Suck it! Suck it!

- No, b*tch, f*** you!

- Shut up!

- F*** you!

Hello? Yo, Johnny! What's up?

Have you talked to anybody?

Not yet. Why?

Look, man. I can't

keep the kid here

much longer.

- Why?

- Nothing.

I'm just having

some people over.

- What?

- Nobody. Shut up!

- What? Are you crazy?

- Nobody. Just some people.

Dude, I didn't tell you

to play f***ing grab-ass!

Chill out, dawg.

No, f*** that!

Get everyone

the f*** out of there!

All right. All right.

I'll clear it out.

I need you to do

a favor for me, bro.

Johnny's coming over

and I need the house.

Will you watch the kid for me

for a little while?

- Watch him?

- Yeah. Keep an eye on him.

No phones

and no leaving him alone.

No phones?

I don't get it.

All right, look. If I tell you

something, can you keep

your f***ing mouth shut?

Yeah, of course, man. Yeah.

The kid's older brother

owes Truelove money

and Johnny's holding him

like a marker or something,

until he gets paid.

That's f***ed up.

No. No, b*tch,

it's not like that.

The kid knows

what's happening,

and he's cool with it.

I mean, look at

the motherf***er.

He ain't going nowhere.

Just take him someplace,

hang out, bring him back

in a couple of hours.

Can you do that for me?

I don't know, man.

It sounds

pretty f***ing dubious.

Keith, who the f***

are you talking to, man?

If I tell you

something's good,

then that's what it is.

Are you going to

take care of this

for me or not?

Susan, I swear to God,

it's cool. Trust me.

- Would you f***ing calm down?

- Hey! F*** you! Let go of me!

You're not supposed to know

any of this.

Jesus, don't say anything,

okay?

You're gonna get me

in a lot of f***ing trouble.

From who, Keith?

From your little f***ing

gangster friends from L.A.?

Yeah! From my...

- Oh, I'm real scared!

- Well, you f***ing should be.

You're a little

f***ing f*ggot,

you know that?

Whoa, you guys, dude,

what's going on?

- This kid has been kidnapped!

- No, he hasn't!

- You mean like "abducted" kidnapped?

- F***ing stolen! Ask him.

Yeah.

Yeah, they took me. But

it's okay.

They took you? Why?

Because his scumbag brother

owes Johnny Truelove money.

Shut up!

- Whoa!

- That's f***ing hot.

Dude, so you're like ransom

or something.

Yeah. Stolen boy.

Yeah.

- You don't look stolen.

- Yeah.

I know. It's weird.

Dude, I want you to know

that you can do anything

you want, okay?

- No, he can't!

- I don't play that sh*t.

You want to f***ing leave,

go for it.

You want make a call...

You shut the f*** up,

you f***ing b*tch!

I'm a f***ing b*tch?

You're a f***ing little b*tch!

Guys! Whoa! F***!

- Hey! Hey! Hey!

- Sit down right now, you f***ing b*tch!

- I'm gonna knock your ass out.

- Keith, f***ing chill out!

God, my brother is...

My brother is gonna

pay the money, okay?

See?

So, like, in the meantime,

you're, like, on vacation.

- Yeah. Exactly. Why not?

- That's f***ing awesome.

It's, like, another story

to tell my grandkids.

Dude, that is so f***ing cool.

Dude, this shirt

is f***ing cool.

Bob Marley is cool.

You guys think

that kidnapping is cool?

Yeah, Susan,

it's f***ing exciting!

I think it's romantic,

dude, he's doing this

for his brother.

- Are you insane?

- Susan, chill out.

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