Already Tomorrow in Hong Kong Page #4

Let's see how the rest

of the night pans out first.

No way.

I'm not taking that risk.

-What are you doing?

-I'm facebooking you.

-No.

-What is your last name?

--What is it?

It's lin.

-Ruby lin?

-Yes, it is.

I like that.

Ruby lin.

Okay.

Is that you?

-Yep.

-Cute pic.

Facebook friend request

from Joshua Rosenberg.

Your last name

is Rosenberg?

-It is.

-Ah.

Could you be any more Jewish?

Could you be

any more racist?

I'm just joshing you.

Okay, we're not gonna

say that joke again.

-That's an awful joke.

-I've been waiting all night

to say that.

- That's an-- ah.

This is the part where

you hit the "accept" button.

I don't know about that.

I just don't know

if our relationship

is ready to be taken

to the next level yet.

Okay, this is the part

where you hit the button--

-you just hit the button.

-I'm gonna think about it.

-What? Really?

-Yeah, really.

Excuse me.

I have to use

the ladies' room.

So cold.

Ready to go?

I can't wait to stalk you

on Facebook later.

Stalking is okay,

poking is not allowed.

Look at this skyline.

They go all in

on the light show.

It's easy to see why

people fall in love with it.

Yeah...

But?

I just don't think

that I'm in love with it yet.

-No?

-No.

-Huh.

-All right, let me just b*tch

about a couple of things,

-and I'll never

bring it up ever again.

-Okay. Hit me.

I just think the people here

are a little superficial--

that they only care

about money,

or the perception

of having money.

Oh, not everyone.

For example,

our company receptionist

has multiple

Louis vuitton purses,

and I know for a fact,

even though it's none

of my business,

that just one

of those purses

costs more than

her monthly salary.

Well, yeah, she's got her

priorities straight.

She doesn't even have

her own apartment.

She lives with her parents,

she's 35.

That's a cultural thing,

though.

And when you're saving

money on rent,

you can buy purses.

It's always raining

at the worst times possible.

And there's like a random

typhoon every other week.

Yeah, but if it's a signal 8,

you get off work.

-I miss netflix.

-Just run a vpm program.

And the Mexican food,

ooh, not good.

Yeah, okay,

that one I'll give you.

I mean, we live in a major

Cosmopolitan city

and, yet, they still make nachos

with doritos and yogurt.

Ruby, stop.

Would you look at this?

Look at this.

You're harping about nachos?

Really?

I know, but aren't there

just some foods

-that you miss

from back home?

-Eh.

What's a good slice,

every now and then?

But dim sum?

It's so much better.

-Maybe I'm just homesick.

-Maybe you just haven't been

to the right places.

Like where?

-Are you hungry?

-I'm always hungry.

All right.

I'm gonna take you

where the locals eat.

Okay,

there's just one thing,

hmm?

I can't eat chicken feet.

Like, I've tried.

I've just looked at it--

-all right.

-I can't do it.

We'll save that for another time

when you're ready.

I'm gonna take you to the best

seafood spot in Jordan.

All right.

Are you paying?

Yeah, it's cheap.

I got this.

... a post-it,

or a curling iron, or--

the one that I always

think about is like,

the envelope,

with the little window

on the envelope,

oh, the window on the envelope?

I'm more into the like--

-what?

-Nothing. Sorry.

Look, don't--

could you stop being

so judgmental?

-I'm not being judgmental.

-You don't know

if they're a couple.

-They could be like

co-workers or something.

-I'm just--

-really? Do you do

that with your co-workers?

-Oh, yes, actually.

-You do? Of course you do.

-That's a cultural

thing here as well

that you will become

accustomed to.

Do you think anyone

thinks anything of us

when they see us together?

I-- no, I don't--

i don't think that--

-really?

-No.

-No?

-No.

You don't think that people

assume that I'm a gold digger?

-A gold digger?

-Yeah.

No, if anything,

you're employed,

and you make more money

than me, so,

they'd probably think

you're my sugar mama.

I mean, obviously I make

more money than you,

-but they don't know that.

-"Obviously" you do?

They don't know that.

I just-- I know--

I know I'm being

super judgmental,

I apologize, but,

i-- I can't help it.

I just--

i see couples like this,

and I make assumptions.

And I hate that

i perpetuate the stereotype

even further

by dating a white guy.

-What?

-What?

-So, Greg's a white guy?

-Who's Greg?

Oh, he's your boyfriend.

You never told me his name

so I just gave him one.

Yeah. Greg.

I like that name.

Yeah, Greg's a white guy.

-So you're one of those

Asian girls, huh?

-What?

Yeah.

That only date white guys.

I do not only date

white guys.

-Really?

-No.

Like, the majority

have been white,

- but it's not on purpose.

-It's totally coincidental.

-Oh, no, it's okay.

I've had a few

Asian girlfriends,

and suddenly i--

like, I'm the white guy

with an Asian fetish.

I f***ing hate that.

You gotta get used

to couples like this,

it's Hong Kong.

-I know.

-It's east meets west.

They're everywhere.

-You're right.

-All right?

You're right.

There's this couple

in my office--

he's a white guy,

and he's married to this

beautiful Chinese woman,

and when they first

started dating,

he didn't know how to speak

any Chinese,

and she couldn't speak

any English.

So like, the first like,

six dates,

they brought like--

they brought on like--

a translator.

-Could you imagine--

-like a-- like a person?

-Yeah! A translator.

-Wow.

So it was like a table for three

instead of a table for two.

Like, it's so-- awkward.

I felt so bad

for the translator.

I know. There's a couple

like that in my building,

and, they, uh--

everywhere they go,

they-- they get by,

but they use--

they use like, a,

like an app.

-Like a Google

translator app.

-Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

It's seen that before, too.

Yeah.

Well, do you think

that you'd ever be able

to be in a relationship

like that?

Please.

I find it hard enough

to date girls

who do speak English.

Yeah?

How so?

It's-- it's just like,

it's not a language barrier,

but it's like

a cultural barrier.

- Yeah.

-TV shows, movies, music I grew up on,

like it just goes

way over their heads.

Yeah.

Yeah, I feel you

on that one.

It's been really hard

for me to connect,

you know,

with my friends

at that level.

I just want

to be with somebody

who understands

what I'm talking about

when I say, like--

"no soup for you!"

Ah!

Don't piss off

the soup Nazi.

-Yes.

-It's the best soup

in town.

Okay,

i had this ex girlfriend,

and I was--

I was trying to watch

"seinfield" with her,

-yeah, yeah, yeah.

-Because I had like,

the DVDs,

and she was like,

"i don't get it,"

it just seems, like,

about nothing.

-And I'm like...

-But that's the whole point.

Exactly.

- Yes.

- -These are cool.

Put it like that.

And you can take,

like, a selfie.

Oh, really?

Here, you ready?

-That's awesome.

-Wahh!

I need this in my life.

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