Always Woodstock Page #2

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I'm not joking.

What?

He was my mate,

but I also feared him.

This song is like a love song,

but, like, also like a dream

of somebody

in a mental institution.

Is anybody

watching this disaster?

What would you like to say

to your fans?

I don't really like

to call them my fans.

I want to call them my friends.

I hate you.

We're all one,

but I would die without them.

You should be dead.

Yeah, it's ironic, you know,

that's why I do what I do.

- Cath?

- Yo.

I'm not... I'm not just a deejay.

I'm a rhythm poet.

Hey!

No, I was watching that.

You look crazy, right now.

You are a crazy lady.

That's it.

One week is enough time

to mope around.

- Up we go.

- No.

We're going out, yes.

Come.

Dr. Phil said I'm a codependent.

Okay, first of all,

never trust a bald man.

I learned that the hard way,

and second of all,

psychology is like the horoscope.

We're going out.

I am never going near

a man again, not even a...

I will not be a codependent

astrologer!

That's fine.

Okay, now wash your face.

Fine!

Oh, my God.

You are so fun.

Garret, ugh, he was not fun.

He was one of those artistic types...

super needy and blah.

- Ugh.

- Who's Garret?

I don't know.

. Hey-

. Hey-

- Hi.

- Hi.

- I'm Ryan.

- This is Ryan.

It's nice to meet you.

Yeah, we have to go,

like, right now.

- Why? No, I'm having fun.

- Hi.

It's good to

see that you're alive.

- What's up?

- Not much.

- Hello, Ryan.

- Don't speak to us.

I'm gonna make an effort

to be nice.

Oh, you know what, Garret,

I'm actually really happy

that you're here

because I wanted to introduce you

to my new man, Dylan.

- New man?

- What?

Dylan, Garret, Garret, Dylan.

It's... we can all just...

- Are you crazy?!

- What the hell, man?!

- Are you crazy?

- What are you doing?

I was lying, you animal.

- I was trying to make you...

- Why would you lie to me?

You should not lie to people.

Look what you made me do.

- You're an a**hole.

- Ow, Ryan, real mature.

- You need some ice.

- Oh, God.

What?

You know what?

I think you're right.

I think maybe we should

have some time apart.

I can't do this right now.

This is crazy.

I can't have this kind of press.

I'm punching people.

Yeah...

Look who's got it together.

I'm moving to Woodstock.

What?

This is the house I grew up in

and this whole time,

I forgot I had this option.

I mean, I haven't been there

in 20 years,

but I do technically

own this place.

- Is this about last night?

- No.

And what are you gonna

do there alone?

Write music...

and do crafts, which I love.

You're moving

to Woodstock by yourself

to a house you haven't seen

since you were four,

with no one there that you know

so you could write and do crafts.

Yes.

What?

- This is a horrible idea.

. Hey

Last night was supposed

to be about you getting out

of the house,

getting some fresh air

because you spent a whole week

on that damn couch,

and you looked like this tiny,

little Prozac commercial all curled up.

And we know this about you.

You run from things.

I am not running away

from anything.

I'm running to something.

And I have laundry.

So my dad called this morning,

asked me if I wanted to meet

Shelly again.

Said it's important.

He said it's mature.

He said that she means

everything to him...

and we wonder why I sleep

around so much?

We know this about him, okay?

He doesn't know how to protect

your feelings.

You just have to do it yourself.

You're gonna be fine.

Ooh, I'm gonna be...

mm, ooh, super fine.

Come here.

Let's pawn this b*tch

and get me a car.

Woodstock, New York,

is exactly one hour, 55 minutes

from the city.

You take

the George Washington Bridge

over the Palisades Parkway,

then west on route 23,

and right onto route 33...

and you're there.

In Woodstock, you can plant

a daisy and out pops a rose.

Even the soil here is creative.

Historically, a town full of legends,

all these romantic nomad people

who were always drawn

to this one town,

this beautiful, creative spot,

this Mecca, and I was going

back there to be an artist,

to become the singer

I'd always hoped to be.

Back to this rich,

powerful, creative Mecca.

Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew!

Ew! Ew! Ew!

Very good, thank you.

Hi, a white wine, please.

Vodka?

Thank you.

Um, another.

Okay.

Okay, thank you.

Uh, one more, please.

- Seriously?

- Yeah, seriously, and a beer.

You know, I should be...

I should be feeling

good right now.

I'm, like, good after this, right?

We are young

Heartache to heartache

We stand

No promises, no demands

Love is a battlefield

We are strong

No one can tell us

we're wrong

Searching our hearts

for some lo-o-o-ve

Both of us knowing

Love is a battlefield. .

Got to give her credit.

Hey, you didn't pay!

Emily, I got her, okay?

Hey.

Hi.

I lost my stud.

I can't find it,

and Garret gave me those.

Look.

Here it is.

That's so-

how did you find that?

That is so... it's the tiniest thing

that's ever existed.

You've got to have...

you've got to have binoculars

for eyeballs.

I'm sorry.

I don't normally karaoke.

Um.

I just got lost in the song.

You were...

fine.

I can't believe

that you found that.

Oh, the light just hit

it perfectly.

It lit up at me.

I'm a professional.

- Oh, yeah?

- Yeah.

Some things are hard to ignore.

I love you.

Oh.

God.

I got to stand up.

Is everything moving?

- Hey, are you okay?

- Mm-hmm.

Woodstock Clinic, Susie speaking.

Oh, hi, Mrs. Colson.

What?

Do you know

where Catherine Brown is?

Ha, so this is your

version of super fine?

- Really?

- What happened?

I don't know.

You tell me.

I was the last person

on your call list.

The last thing I remember

was losing my earring.

I guess I found it.

Catherine, I see you're awake.

How you feeling?

I'll take the silence

and blinking as "better."

Any shortness of breath?

Headache, nausea?

No and no.

All right, well,

this has been a great talk.

Try to stay hydrated.

Call if you need anything.

What have you got?

Oh, my God. No.

- You cannot like him.

- No, I know him.

Oh... oh, God.

Oh, no.

Home, home, please get me home.

What do I do?

Well, got a weekend

and a credit card.

Yeah, ha, ha, ha

Send in the cavalry

Travel round the world

and I've searching for a place

With something new

You only get one shot

You've got to give it

everything you got

You've come a long way, baby

When I will fall

You catch me when I go

You're much closer

than you know...

We're such good dancers.

Books on friendship should be

written about people like you.

- I love you.

- I love you, too.

- Okay, mwah.

- Mwah.

Hey, Cat!

You came here to write,

so just start writing.

I'

Are you artichoking?

'Cause there's a doctor

in the house.

- Hi.

- Hi.

You. Doctor.

- I don't love you.

- What?

Oh... uh.

I said that at the bar,

and I don't...

I didn't mean it.

I don't say things like that,

and I don't dance like that.

I never dance like that.

So I'm sorry for the awkward

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