American Beauty Page #5

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JIM #1

Nice to meet you. And this is my

partner...

JIM #2

(offers his hand)

Jim Berkley, but people call me J.B.

COLONEL:

Let's cut to the chase, okay? What

are you guys selling?

JIM #2

(after a beat)

Nothing. We just wanted to say hi to

our new neighbors--

COLONEL:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you said you're

partners. So what's your business?

The Jims look at each other, then back at the Colonel.

JIM #1

Well, he's a tax attorney.

JIM #2

And he's an anesthesiologist.

The Colonel looks at them, confused. Then it dawns on him.

INT. COLONEL'S FORD EXPLORER - LATER

The Colonel drives, staring darkly at the road ahead. In the

passenger seat, Ricky is using a CALCULATOR and jotting

numbers down in a NOTEBOOK.

COLONEL:

How come these faggots always have

to rub it in your face? How can they

be so shameless?

RICKY:

That's the whole thing, Dad. They

don't feel like it's anything to be

ashamed of.

The Colonel looks at Ricky sharply.

COLONEL:

Well, it is.

A beat, as Ricky continues his calculations, before he

realizes a response is expected from him. Then:

RICKY:

Yeah, you're right.

The Colonel's eyes flash angrily.

COLONEL:

Don't placate me like I'm your mother,

boy.

Ricky sighs, then looks at his father.

RICKY:

Forgive me, sir, for speaking so

bluntly, but those fags make me want

to puke my f***ing guts out.

The Colonel is taken aback but quickly covers.

COLONEL:

Me too, son. Me too.

Case closed, Ricky goes back to his calculations.

CLOSE on the pencil in his hands: He's totaling two columns

of NUMBERS.

Under the column "Income" he writes in swift, bold strokes:

$24,950.00.

EXT. HIGH SCHOOL CAMPUS - A SHORT TIME LATER

Jane and Angela are standing with two other TEENAGE GIRLS.

ANGELA:

I'm serious, he just pulled down his

pants and yanked it out. You know,

like, say hello to Mr. Happy.

TEENAGE GIRL #1

Gross.

ANGELA:

It wasn't gross. It was kind of cool.

TEENAGE GIRL #1

So, did you do it with him?

ANGELA:

Of course I did. He is a really well-

known photographer? He shoots for

Elle on like, a regular basis? It

would have been so majorly stupid of

me to turn him down.

TEENAGE GIRL #2

You are a total prostitute.

ANGELA:

Hey. That's how things really are.

You just don't know, because you're

this pampered little suburban chick.

TEENAGE GIRL #2

So are you. You've only been in

Seventeen once, and you looked fat,

so stop acting like you're goddamn

Christy Turlington.

The two TEENAGE GIRLS move away from Jane and Angela.

ANGELA:

(calling off)

C*nt!

(then)

I am so sick of people taking their

insecurities out on me.

The Colonel's Ford Explorer pulls up, and Ricky gets out.

JANE:

Oh my God. That's the pervert who

filmed me last night.

ANGELA:

Him? Jane. No way. He's a total

lunatic.

JANE:

You know him?

ANGELA:

Yeah. We were on the same lunch shift

when I was in ninth grade, and he

would always say the most random,

weird things, and then one day, he

was just like, gone. And then, Connie

Cardullo told me he his parents had

to put him in a mental institution.

JANE:

Why? What did he do?

ANGELA:

What do you mean?

JANE:

Well, they can't put you away just

for saying weird things.

Angela stares at Jane, then her mouth widens into a smile.

ANGELA:

You total slut. You've got a crush

on him.

JANE:

What? Please.

ANGELA:

You were defending him! You love

him. You want to have like, ten

thousand of his babies.

JANE:

Shut up.

Jane suddenly finds Ricky standing in front of her.

RICKY:

Hi. My name's Ricky. I just moved

next door to you.

JANE:

I know. I kinda remember this really

creepy incident when you were filming

me last night?

RICKY:

I didn't mean to scare you. I just

think you're interesting.

Angela shoots a wide-eyed look at Jane, who ignores it.

JANE:

Thanks, but I really don't need to

have some psycho obsessing about me

right now.

RICKY:

I'm not obsessing. I'm just curious.

He looks at her intently, his eyes searching hers. Jane is

unnerved and has to look away. Ricky smiles and walks off.

ANGELA:

What a freak. And why does he dress

like a Bible salesman?

JANE:

He's like, so confident. That can't

be real.

ANGELA:

I don't believe him. I mean, he didn't

even like, look at me once.

INT. FITTS HOUSE - DEN - THAT NIGHT

CLOSE on a TV SCREEN: "Hogan's Heroes" on Nick at Nite.

The Colonel and Barbara are seated on a couch, watching

television. The Colonel is smiling, enjoying the show; Barbara

just stares. The Colonel CHUCKLES at a joke and startles

her.

We HEAR a door opening elsewhere in the house, and Ricky

enters.

RICKY:

Hey.

He sits on the couch, next to his father, and watches TV

along with them.

The Colonel's smile fades.

BARBARA:

(out of the blue)

I'm sorry, what?

RICKY:

Mom. Nobody said anything.

BARBARA:

Oh. I'm sorry.

The three of them stare at the TV, like strangers in an

airport.

INT. HOTEL BALLROOM - NIGHT

We HEAR MUSIC under a room full of people all talking at

once, as Lester and Carolyn enter a hotel ballroom. We FOLLOW

THEM as they pass a SIGN that reads:

GREATER ROCKWELL REALTOR RESOURCES GROUP

CAROLYN:

--everyone here is with their spouse

or their significant other. How would

it look if I showed up with no one?

LESTER:

Well, you always end up ignoring me

and going off--

Inside the ballroom, well-dressed real estate professionals

stand in clumps, chatting. Catering waiters serve hors

d'eouvres.

CAROLYN:

Now listen to me. This is an important

business function. As you know, my

business is selling an image. And

part of my job is to live that image--

LESTER:

Just say whatever you want to say

and spare me the propaganda.

CAROLYN:

(spots someone)

Hi, Shirley!

(to Lester)

Listen, just do me a favor. Act happy

tonight?

LESTER:

(grins stupidly)

I am happy, honey.

Carolyn's jaw tightens, then:

CAROLYN:

(spots someone)

Oh! Buddy!

She drags Lester toward a silver-haired MAN and his much

younger WIFE. We recognize the Man as BUDDY KANE, The Real

Estate King.

CAROLYN:

(shakes Buddy's hand)

Buddy! Buddy. Hi! Good to see you

again.

BUDDY:

It's so good to see you too,

Catherine.

CAROLYN:

Carolyn.

BUDDY:

Carolyn! Of course. How are you?

CAROLYN:

Very well, thank you.

(to his wife)

Hello, Christy.

CHRISTY:

Hello.

CAROLYN:

My husband, Lester--

BUDDY:

(shakes Lester's hand)

It's a pleasure.

LESTER:

Oh, we've met before, actually. This

thing last year. Or the Christmas

thing at the Sheraton.

BUDDY:

Oh, yes.

LESTER:

It's okay. I wouldn't remember me

either.

He LAUGHS. A little too loudly. Carolyn quickly joins in.

CAROLYN:

(forced gaiety)

Honey. Don't be weird.

She smiles her most winning smile at him. He knows this

persona well, only it's never pissed him off as much as it

does right now.

LESTER:

All right, honey. I won't be weird.

(his face close to

hers)

I'll be whatever you want me to be.

And he kisses her--a soft, warm kiss that speaks unmistakably

of sex--then turns to the others and grins.

LESTER:

We have a very healthy relationship.

BUDDY:

I see.

Carolyn's smile is frozen on her face.

LESTER:

Well. I don't know about you, but I

need a drink.

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