American Girl Page #5

unless we let them, you know?

But I'd sure be happy

to help you look for him.

Okay. Okay.

I'll be right back, sweetie.

Let me help you up there.

Thank you.

I'll be right back.

Hey, red.

Oh, my God,

you scared me.

Not as much as I'm going to scare you.

What do you mean?

I think you know exactly what I mean.

I'm going to go back

to the picnic area now.

Hey, you got any cigarettes?

This here's my last one,

and I have a heart murmur,

so I need it,

and I'm going to smoke it.

It's a filthy habit anyway.

You know, my silence can be bought

very inexpensively.

Well, I don't got any money,

so...

I don't want your money.

No. I thought rather,

I'd really like

to hear you squeal like a piggy.

Excuse me?

Now, I know you've been

to the movies a time or two.

I'd like to hear you squeal like a piggy.

I most definitely will not!

Mrs. Grubb!

You'll never guess who's f***ing your...

OK!

Sh*t, fine.

Oink, oink.

Mrs. Grubb!

All right! Fine.

Let me help you out here.

Real piggies would probably

like some grass,

so why don't you

come over here

and maybe get on all fours

like a real piggy?

What do you say?

Come on now,

I want to hear you... ree!

Come on now, on all fours

like a real piggy.

Yeah, come on, come on now.

Could be worse,

you could be in the mud.

You don't want to be in mud.

Nice soft grass.

Yeah, that's right,

good little piggy.

Come on.

That's right, that's right.

(snorts like a pig)

All right, come on, more,

I want more!

Yeah!

That's right!

Yeah!

Come on, like a pig!

I want to hear you reee!

That's real nice.

That's real nice.

Come on, everybody.

That's all, folks.

Yeah!

Today's annual picnic

will be concluded at 4:00.

All visitors will need

to begin lining up

at the gate at 3:30

with all belongings.

Commanding Officer Jones,

report to the visitors tent.

Commanding officer Jones,

please report to the visitors tent.

Hey, daddy.

Where's your mama?

She went off looking for you.

Give me a sandwich, would you?

I'm really glad that we came here, daddy.

I knew seeing you again

would be really nice.

Yeah.

You're getting' to be quite a gal, Rena.

You know...

your mama loves you.

Remember that...

you know, when she's a b*tch

and all... that she loves you.

I know.

Hey, here.

Thanks for all those postcards

you've been sending.

I like them.

I don't mind that there's

no pictures on them.

You know, Kenton likes football,

so you'd like him.

He's a lot like...

you know, I still have those books

that you read to me when I was younger...

hey, look. Shovel pass!

They're under my bed.

Sometimes, you know...

Kenton would really like you.

I'm, like, tired and I get them out

and I just remember

how you used to read to me

until I fell asleep...

Bomb!

Here we go!

Come on!

Hey, what's up with this damn baby?

Go long! Go long!

Well, I kind of,

wanted to name it after you, daddy.

John Grubb the third.

When your last name's Grubb,

You, kind of, have to be careful

what you put before it.

Nice catch, jerk-off!

I was kind of thinking that

Russell Upsome might be a nice name.

Mm-hmm. Sidearm!

Russell Upsome Grubb.

What do you think, daddy?

Sure thing, baby-doll.

Oh, yeah.

You got any advice, daddy?

Yeah, go long! Long!

Don't worry.

I'll write a special suicide note

explaining the whole thing out for you.

Hey, you're not that far along.

So I gave your mama the name of a guy

who can take care of this for you.

Thanks, daddy.

Sure thing.

I mean, a daddy takes care

of his little girl, don't he?

All right, hit me!

Come on!

Hit me, I'm open.

That part, you know,

that's not really so bad, but...

I mean, yeah,

if John wasn't stuck here,

I would absolutely take my kids

and I'd leave.

And where would you go to?

Hey, I thought, alcohol wasn't allowed.

It's not.

Where? Anywhere?

Don't laugh.

Well, I was thinking maybe

I'd take the kids

and move to Disney World.

Ah, the happiest

place on earth.

Yeah, well,

that's what they say. Yeah.

I mean, not in the actual park itself...

of course not.

Maybe somewhere close by.

So what's stopping you?

John would just about

snap my neck if we left.

Not with two consecutive lifetimes, he won't.

Well, yeah, but I've got him

pretty pissed off,

missing all those conjugals.

What you talking about?

All those conjugal visits,

you know.

Well, I know what they are, Madge.

It's just, I've never

known John to miss one.

In fact, Johnny Grubb's been getting

all of his conjugal visits.

But you knew that.

Madge...

we're all fuckered up here.

You don't belong in this place.

I think there's probably a better life

for you out there somewhere.

By God, you ought to go find it.

I want to thank you for, you know...

mama, hey! You want to be

my partner for the egg toss?

Sounds like a waste of eggs, Barbie.

Nice haircut.

I won't tell mom.

Get up and you fight me

like a man, you son of a b*tch!

What's wrong with you, Madge?

You son of a b*tch,

you horn-dog!

I know all about you!

I know all about you

and your conjugal floozy!

Your mama sure is pissed.

Yeah, she's usually a screamer,

not a fighter.

How about you?

Are you a fighter?

No, I'm more of a lover.

Life sure is worth living,

Aint it?

You take care now, Jay.

Why don't you tell your kids

that you been cheating on their mama?

I'm going to have to drop you.

Where the hell did you meet her?

Come on, now.

Where the hell did you meet her?

Is she some bull dyke

from the women's prison?

Or is she some pen pal,

some desperate whore you...

mother:
Baby, baby,

are you okay?

Could somebody get somebody?

She's been in there a long time.

Hope she's all right.

She'll be okay.

She just got the wind knocked out of her.

They don't make them any tougher

than Rena, I'll tell you that.

It's that motherfucking guard's fault.

That motherfucking guard set me up.

He just wanted to get

some of that cherry pie.

John, shut up.

He's jealous.

Who can blame him?

Yeah, he's after you.

You're looking good.

Come on, let's get out of here.

John, we can't.

Yeah, we can.

Come on, let's go.

No, we're already in trouble.

I'm doing double life.

What's some more trouble?

Stop!

Okay.

Follow me.

God.

I'm sorry.

God!

I'm sorry...

well, hello there.

What are you looking at?

Trashy little harlot doesn't know

how to treat her mama?

Just a guess.

F*** you.

Why don't you sit there

until I tell you to...

guess what! I don't happen

to be a prisoner here!

What the f***?

What the f*** did you

just do to yourself, Rena?

Nothing...

you're not leaving me here

alone, Goddamn you!

Give me that!

Just sit down!

Hold this up!

If you want to die,

you sure picked

one hell of a shoving-off place.

I'm sorry.

Why? None of this is your fault.

Why don't you let me go, Jay?

'Cause you're my sister.

Hell, I don't even want to

see Barbie dead most days.

You love me because you have to.

I'm your sister and you have to.

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