American Pastime Page #6

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That's the way to do it, now.

That's the way.

These guys have never seen

anything like Grover.

Grover really had a shot

a few years back.

He told me that Don Lemon himself

came to take a look at him.

Talked to him about

working on his curve ball.

Coming to the plate...

...this must be, let's see, Takeshita.

Ball one.

Strike one.

- Strike two.

- Grover winds.

- You're out!

- And down he goes.

As next batter,

this pitcher kid's coming up.

Come on, Grover, come on.

A little tap down the line.

That's two down.

Let's forget about this exhibition game.

Teach these guys a real lesson.

This big fella, I don't know

what he's doing with them.

He looks colored to me.

I guess he's married to one of them,

or got some of their blood.

Scorecard says he calls himself Bambino.

Got no comment on that.

Grover winds and...

Oh, hey.

They don't have fastballs like that

where they come from.

First inning:
one, two, three.

- Here comes the pitch.

- Strike!

- Down he goes.

- Out!

- Grab some pine. Take your seat.

- Out!

Grover's working on a no-hitter.

It's damn near impossible

to tell them apart.

Top of the fourth, and Nomura--

Nom-- Nom-- Nom--

Whatever-his-name-is delivers, and--

They don't have any bats,

but their defense is looking good out there.

Where is he?

Do you want me to go look around

and see if anyone's seen him?

Oh, would you, Joe? I'd appreciate that.

This Topaz kid, now,

I don't know if he's throwing...

...some special

imported pitches or what...

...but he's got himself a shutout

going as well.

- Strike three. You're out.

- We call that his radio ball.

You heard it, but didn't see it.

Did you, sergeant-san?

Grover winds and...

Bambino, I love you!

- Yeah, Bambino!

- My, oh, my, see it fly.

The Topaz team goes up, 1 -0.

Go! Yeah! Yeah!

That calls for a little liquid refreshment.

He's here.

Thank God.

Billy, he's here.

- He just got here.

- What?

He always reserves a seat when he comes,

and Joe just went to find out where he is.

- New York Yankees.

- New York Yankees.

Ladies and gentlemen, please rise

for the seventh-inning stretch.

Feel like you could use a haircut?

Don't forget about Ed's Barbershop.

Cut it right, cut it at Ed's.

And join me in singing

"Take Me Out to the Ball Game."

I bought my bus ticket.

I leave for Delaware day after tomorrow.

That's great, Katie.

I won't go if you don't want me to.

No.

No, I want you to, I do.

- Really?

- Yeah, really.

Oh, God. I'm so scared, Lyle.

I have never been anywhere by myself.

Yeah, I know.

It's nothing to be afraid of, all right?

You're gonna be fine.

I just keep thinking about maybe next year,

maybe you could come, you could join me.

We could be in Delaware...

Mom, this is Lyle.

This is my mom.

Hello, Mrs. Burrell.

It's a pleasure to meet you.

It's nice to meet you.

Mom, Dad.

This is Katie.

Hello.

And her mother and father.

Well, here we are in the top of the ninth,

and our Bees are trailing, 1 -0.

One on, two outs, and now we got

Ed Tully coming up.

Ed hits a slow dribble

off the first-base line.

Look out.

What, you wanna hit somebody?

Come hit me. Come hit me, man.

You wanna hit somebody?

Hey, catcher, get back behind the plate.

That's Ed Tully style baseball.

Stay on the base, Ed.

Next up, we got catcher Billy Burrell.

Nomura's made Billy look bad today.

Struck him out three times.

I can tell you right now, Billy does not

wanna strike out to end this game.

Go Burrell!

Two on, two outs.

This game is on the line right here, folks.

Knock it out of the park, Burrell!

Bombs away!

Billy just hit a three-run homer.

It doesn't get any better than this, fans.

- I'm sorry, sugar. I'm really sorry.

- What is it, Joe? What's the matter?

I found out where Don Lemon

reserved his seat.

Right over there.

I made a mistake.

Don Lemon isn't here.

That's a game winner, Billy Burrell!

That's a winner!

One swing of the bat

and your Abraham Bees...

...have taken control of this game.

We can just about call it a day here.

Hey, everybody.

I don't wanna see any heads

hanging down.

Every one of you.

I am proud of you.

- We're all here, yeah?

- Yeah.

- We're all here, yeah?

- Yeah.

Let's give them something

to cheer about, guys.

- Who are we?

- Topaz.

- Who are we?

- Topaz.

Let's go, let's go!

Well, here we are. Bottom of the ninth.

Your Abraham Bees 3, Topaz 1.

All right, let's get this thing over with.

Three and out.

Grover looks fresh as a daisy out there.

They barely touched him today.

- Out.

- And down he goes.

Right, that's one. Okay, we got one here.

Grover had that one slip

against the big colored guy...

...but other than that,

he's thrown a gem.

- You're out!

- All right, we got two.

All right. It's all over

but the shouting now.

We're down to our last out here...

...and I gotta tell you, it was more

of a game than what I expected.

This Topaz team managed

to make a decent contest of it.

- Bunt!

- Drag bunt down the first-base line.

No play at first.

Sh*t. Damn it.

Yeah!

Come on, now, come on.

Where were you? Come on.

Now, this next batter, he's 0-for-3.

Gone down on strikes

every time he's been up.

Grover's got him terrified

of that high-and-inside pitch.

And I gotta say,

I can't blame the little fella.

Look out. That's gotta hurt.

Takeshita takes a first "base-a."

Pardon my Italian.

That puts the tying run on base, folks.

Still got a chance at that 2500.

There's not gonna be any 2500.

I'm not saying we're not gonna win.

What I mean is we're not

going to make 2500.

They don't have the money

to put up for the bet.

So, what's the bet for now?

A haircut.

A what?

Our 2500 against a haircut.

That's ridiculous.

Is it?

You want your quarter back?

I'll give you your quarter back.

I'll take care of it personally.

And anybody else

who wants their quarter back.

Two on, two outs.

The Bees better quit fooling around

and finish these guys off.

I'd like a piece of that bet.

- You're on.

- Come on, Topaz, let's win this thing!

We've got a bet to win!

- Let's go, Topaz!

- We can do it!

- Let's go, Topaz!

- Come on, let's win this thing.

Come on, Topaz!

- Let's go.

- Let's win it, Topaz.

Lyle!

Go for broke, Lyle!

Go for broke.

Go for broke, Lyle. Go for broke.

Go for broke.

- Go for broke!

- Go for broke!

- Go for broke!

- Go for broke!

Go for broke!

Go for broke!

- Come on, go for broke!

- Go for broke!

- Go for broke! Go for broke!

- Something's going on with the Topaz fans.

Go for broke!

They're yelling something over there.

Being pretty insistent about it too.

Go for broke! Go for broke!

Go for broke! Go for broke!

There's a line drive down the line.

One run's gonna score.

The second one's rounding third,

and he'll score.

The throw comes into the plate.

The runner heading for third.

And he's safe. Safe at third.

We got a tie game, 3-3,

bottom of the ninth.

Coming up is the big colored fella,

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