Among Friends Page #4

So if it has to be done,

Fine, I'll take it.

I've always

liked you best, Sara.

You've got some character.

Just for that...

I'll let you pick

which hand.

Don't play, Sara.

You're not even

gonna protest this?

Look at me, Sara.

Don't look at her.

There you go.

You're gonna be fine.

Everything's going

to be okay.

This isn't even the worst thing

that's happened to you today.

You know, you've got

my puke all over you.

Jules, tell her!

Tell her she's gonna be okay.

- Keep looking at me.

- Ah ah ah ah!

Lily came to me

because she needed an abortion.

But you're a psychologist.

I didn't give her

the abortion, you imbecile.

I took her

to get it done.

- Of course she had to choose today.

- But she's bleeding.

Well, if

you would let me finish...

It's actually

what I didn't do to lily.

She was bleeding out

and needed medical attention.

I just did what people

do all the time.

Nothing.

Moving on.

Well, Blane?

Blane.

What?

Yeah, Blane... What?

F*** you, you crazy b*tch.

That's what.

Okay.

If you insist,

I'll go straight into it

Without any intro.

- Are you drunk?

- Yeah.

- What are you doing?

- I don't know. I just wanted to see.

Yeah?

You look good.

Really good.

What are...

What are you doing?

I don't know.

What am I doing?

What?

Last Christmas, Blane and I

were still together.

He ended up cheating on you

with some 20-Year-Old.

So that makes it okay?

F*** you, Melanie!

Mmm.

Don't mind me.

You knew?

Ooh ooh.

Come here.

Shh.

This button has wanted

to come off for a while now.

Mm-Hmm.

Oh. Yeah.

Ah, you like that?

Yeah.

Oh yeah.

What?!

We all know

how you like to watch.

Oh god. Oh.

Oh my god.

Oh, yeah.

Oh god, yeah.

I was hoping we'd see Blane

do some guy-On-Guy.

- F*** me.

- Would have been more dramatic.

But, alas, no.

Oh god.

Say it.

Say, "f*** me."

Say it.

Say it.

Turn it off!

- Yeah, f*** me.

- Turn it the f*** off!

Oh, wait.

I'm gonna come.

You want me to come?

- Yes, come on my tits.

- Do you want me to come?

- Yeah.

- Say it. Say it.

Yes. F***.

Sharing is caring.

Jules.

What do you think

about all this?

Nothin'.

Nothing?

Nothing.

All you're doing is showing a

bunch of friends fooling around.

So what?

We all cheat a little,

Tell a little lie

here and there.

It doesn't make anything

you're doing justified.

There's no such thing

as a little lie, Jules.

Just like there's no such thing

as being a little pregnant.

Sara, what do you think?

It's disappointing,

isn't it?

Oh, Melanie, was it just the

once or did it happen again?

Things like this

usually happen again.

Answer her.

I'm pretty sure

you've got your answer.

You want to write things off

like you just got carried away

In the heat of the moment?

Guess what?

Each of those moments

strung together

Is a lifetime.

Is there anything

you want me to do, Sara?

Don't.

She's trying to get you

to do something terrible.

Don't let her manipulate you

into doing anything more.

I can't believe

this is happening.

I loved you.

I would have done

anything for you.

What the f*** did I do

to deserve any of this?

Come off it, Sara.

Don't act like you've

never done anything wrong.

Do tell.

You've been stalking him,

Logging into his emails.

What the f*** are

you talking about?

Don't act like

you're all holier than thou.

How long you been

going through my sh*t, Sara?

What the f*** is

she talking about?

Maybe as long as you've been

f***ing my best friend.

Enough, all right?

Everybody keep

their f***ing mouths shut.

Hey, Marcus, you're so perfect,

why don't you tell everybody

What you

got arrested for, huh?

Did you not f***ing understand

me? Keep you f***ing mouth shut!

Wait wait wait!

It wasn't

for beating up that guy

Who was harassing

Blane's sister?

No, it was getting for f***ing

a parking ticket, all right?

I got a boot on my car

and I went to f***ing jail.

Now end the f***ing game!

That is so lame.

What is the endgame,

Bernadette?

We're getting there.

- Adam.

- Bernie.

First of all, I've told

you guys 100 times...

I don't like

being called Bernie.

My name

is Bernadette.

Secondly, you should be

thanking me, you coward.

I'm giving you

a chance to come clean.

Don't worry, Adam.

You're among friends.

This is a movie.

Bernadette.

Please don't.

Oh, f***.

- I almost threw up.

- Almost or did?

But I didn't throw up.

I'm feeling really...

Very happy.

- Good good.

- Mmm!

Let's go have a pizza.

- Pizza?

- Yeah, let's have some pizza.

Okay, in a minute.

I just need a little bit of...

...lily time.

Why?

- Why? Why? Why?

- Friendship.

- Why?

- Friendship.

- Friendship?

- Yeah.

You're a very good friend.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome. Okay.

- I say we go outside...

- No.

- Are you okay?

- Yeah, I'm fine.

Is this your first time

in heels?

What? No, I wear heels

all the time.

I wear heels

all the time.

- Are you okay?

- Are you okay?

I'm fine.

Stop trying to kiss me.

- I'm not trying...

- You are trying to kiss...

No, I'm not,

I'm trying to find this spot.

- Ah!

- There, I found it.

The lily spot.

I found the lily spot.

Okay, that's enough.

It's not funny.

I know.

It's a little bit.

- It's not funny now.

- It's cool.

Please get off me.

- Come on, let's go outside.

- Okay, two seconds.

Adam, what are you doing?

- Adam, st...

Adam, stop!

Adam, stop it!

- Shut the f*** up!

- God. You don't have to.

You nearly killed my f***ing ear!

Calm...

Lily, calm down.

Don't act like you do not

Want me to f*** you.

Calm down.

Don't.

- You're boring the...

- F*** out of me!

Doesn't fait sh*t!

I'm on set.

I'm on set.

This is a

movie. I'm on set. I'm on set.

How did my career

end up like this?

Oh, Michael Biehn.

Fantasy sequence, Jules?

- Michael, wake up, please!

- I don't f***ing speak French!

F*** you, Jules.

Okay, all right. Enough enough.

- I'm sure it's... I'm sure it's

good. - Where'd all my lines go?

Is this even a union

f***ing production?

And you go really really fast

And the ship goes

away from earth.

You go at the speed

of light,

You actually

don't age as quickly.

- You stay young.

- That's right.

Would somebody get me

f***ing something to drink?!

What is wrong with this girl?

Stop it!

- f***.

- Come back here, please!

Open it for me.

I can't drink it like that.

Sorry.

Thank you.

- Please don't. I'm sorry.

- Oh, f***.

- Don't f***ing do that.

Talent's flying in. Talent's

flying in. Let's do this.

F***ing b*tch!

What the f***

is wrong with you?

Think she's

a union actress?

Oh! What the hell?!

It's called

the screen actors guild.

- Let's go.

- I can't move!

You want to

get out of my chair?

I can't move.

Can we get second team

out of chair, please?

- Somebody? A little help.

- Who the f*** is this girl?

She doesn't

even look like me.

- You gotta go.

- I can't get out of my chair.

- I can't get out of my chair!

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