And So It Goes Page #5

- It wouldn't kill your act to throw in a couple more recent ones.

- Okay.

- Anything else?

- Well, since you bring it up.

You're a very attractive woman.

But...

some of your outfits

they just don't do you justice.

Besides my song selection,

my patter

and my physical appearance.

You like the act?

I love it.

I'm just getting eaten alive here.

Would you like to...

- I got an idea.

- Why don't you come inside. - Sure.

Okay.

You know, it doesn't always have

to be about you as part of a couple.

- What?

- When you talk to the audience,

- you should talk about yourself as an individual.

- Oh, God, yeah.

As an individual.

I'm not that interesting.

You're interesting to me.

Would you like something to drink?

Thirst quenching type of drink

or a leading to something

kind of drink?

- Would you like a glass of wine?

- Sure. - Okay.

Honestly, I don't think an audience

wants to hear me talk about my life.

Sure they would.

Tell me something about yourself

that I would be surprised to hear.

Okay, well, I used to collect

antique lipstick cases.

- What else you got?

- See. I told you.

I mean, tell me about

your first crush.

No, wait. Are you asking me as you,

or are you asking me...

- I'm just asking about your first crush.

- Okay, all right.

You really want to hear it?

Okay, I was in 7th grade

and I was...

at Amy Robinson's party

and there was this boy,

Bobby Zaden who was a total jerk.

But he asked me to dance.

And I don't know what happened.

It was like a switch flipped

and then suddenly...

I'm looking into these gorgeous

blue eyes...

and we were dancing.

And yeah, stepping on my feet

but I didn't care because...

I was in love.

- You see that...

- Yeah?

You see that is really...

that is interesting.

Are we really doing this?

I thought I was

but if you don't want to...

Well, no, it's not really that.

It's just...

I mean, I don't...

it's been awhile for me.

I know, it's been awhile for me too.

Oh, is that because of your ACL?

- Yeah, it was totally rehabbed I might add.

- That's good.

I just think it's important

that we don't think of this

- as anything more than what it is.

- Well, what is it?

Well we're both adults, we can

separate this from attachment.

- Yeah, I don't know about that.

- Come on. Sure, we're animals.

We are animals.

It's like a basic need.

It's like water or food.

You know what I'm talking about.

Are you... Whoa!

Okay, of all the starts

that two people have every started,

including teenagers and monkeys,

this is possibly the worst start,

what I consider a potentially

intimate relationship.

- Come on, it's not that bad, is it?

- Oh, really?

I had a dog once,

that wouldn't leave my crotch alone

and it was more romantic than this.

It was way more romantic...

oh, boy.

It's...

Better. Better.

Yeah, okay.

- You smell so good.

- I'm gonna leave my bra on.

That was great.

You got a great body.

Listen, I should probably go,

Sarah's all alone over there.

It was great.

You were great, you know.

I mean, the whole thing.

It's great.

Sh*t.

- Morning.

- If you say so.

- You've been around Oren too much.

- Why you say that?

- I don't know. You just seem...

- Yeah, I seem what? What do I seem?

Nothing. Have a good day.

- I'm fine by the way, Kyle!

Fine, thank you.

- Yeah. Sorry.

- Beautiful day...

- Oh, my God! How dare you!

I told you I had

to get back to Sarah.

You told me 2 seconds

after we finished,

it was like an extension

of your orgasm!

- I'm sorry.

- You left me crying in the bathroom! What were you thinking!

I was thinking,

she's crying in the bathroom

- and I should probably leave.

- You're unbelievable!

Do you know that was the first time

I've had sex in almost four years.

Okay, I understand, I'm sorry. I

promise I'll do better the next time.

Are you nuts! First of all,

there's not going to be a next time!

- There's a better chance of...

- Hi Grandma! Hi Grandpa!

- Grandma, are you okay?

- She's fine, sweetie.

See your grandma and your grandpa did

an unfortunate thing last night...

I mean the thing itself was not

unfortunate. But the aftermath...

- Jesus!

- Can I go down to the docks?

Yes. Please go down

and just make sure we can see you.

- Better chance than what?

- What?

You were saying that there's a better

chance that something would happen

- than there is that you and I would try...

- Unbelievable!

- You got to be kidding me!

- I'm just looking for clarification.

I mean... wow!

That's unbelievable.

Little, you've got a visitor!

Over there.

David Shaw.

- Who are you?

- I'm your lawyer.

I've been retained by your father...

to file an appeal to your sentence.

We're on solid ground here. With

any luck you'll be out in no time.

Who leaves a empty donut box?

You eat the last donut,

you throw the box away?

It's just common courtesy.

I think you're Gardner stopped by.

He looked hungry,

so I gave him the last one.

He wants more money.

I'm trying to avoid him.

- Can I talk to you for a second?

- What's the matter?

I messed up.

I need a woman's perspective

- and you're the closest thing too it.

- You always could charm me.

- I slept with Leah.

- You did mess up.

Well, the sex was actually

pretty good.

- But you left immediately after, right?

- How'd you know that?

You think you invented men

being a**holes?

Well what do I do?

That depends. Are you looking to go

back to the way things were before?

- No.

- Good. Because that's impossible.

You have to understand,

she's very emotional.

Give her some time,

let her calm down, then beg.

Although why she would give you

a second chance...

Why does cancer kill good people?

And you're still alive.

Careful.

I'm the only friend you got.

I might have found someone else

who likes me so you can die now.

- Who in God's name would be that stupid.

- My grand daughter.

- How do they know how to do this?

- It's nature.

It's how baby turtles know how

to run into the ocean

after they've been born.

And I guess it's how bees know how

to make a hive.

- Nature's amazing.

- Oh, yeah.

- We should film it.

- Too bad we don't have a camera though.

- What? - You do.

- I do, don't I.

We can film a little bit

of it each day.

Then we can download it

all to your computer.

Then we can get an editing app.

Then we can make a movie.

- Do you really know how to do all this?

- No. But I can figure it out.

Nature's amazing.

- What do you want?

- Grandpa, come in. We're making a movie.

Oh, look at that.

Caterpillar's crawling on twigs.

- That is some plot.

- It's a science project.

- We're going to film the metamorphosis.

- That's terrific.

- Is there a reason you're here?

- I got you an audition for a new job.

Paying $1500 a week.

Look at this one.

He's already started his cocoon.

Wait a second,

so you got me an audition

- without even telling me about it.

- I'm telling you now.

I know, but you don't seem

to understand I have to get ready.

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