Angels One Five Page #4

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Yes, sir, we've two sections

on patrol over Ashford, sir.

OK, sir.

Scramble Beeswax Blue and Green, Tom.

Ramsgate 12,000 feet.

Hello, Beeswax dispersal.

Scramble Blue and Green...

Morning, Tom.

Morning, sir.

Wotcher, Septic, you old assassin.

So this is where you hide.

..."R" Robert 9-7-2-9...

Well, don't look so boot-faced, old boy.

No offense meant.

But after all, you did very nearly land ...

... on my cockpit cover, you know.

- You were coming in cross wind.

- Oh, absolutely, old boy.

Shocking display. Quite Second XI.

Trouble was, some Jerry with evil intent

had perforated my glycol tank.

You mean you were shot up?

Nobody told me that.

I'm very sorry, sir.

Think nothing of it, Septic, my lad.

Happens every day.

Only some of them aren't lucky enough

to find a runway to park down on.

Things are beginning to hum.

I have a feeling our absence

might be acceptable.

Come down to dispersal

and meet the boys.

I can't leave here, I'm afraid.

Good idea. I can't see the table

through the back of your head, anyway.

- Thanks, sir.

- Come on.

I must say,

I thought it rather raw myself.

But the Skipper's apt to be a bit touchy

about his replacement aircraft.

Pity you didn't open up and go around again.

Well, I tried. Of course I tried.

She wouldn't pick up.

A habit they have if you do it too quickly.

Well, it had to be quick.

There wasn't much time, you know.

Oh, absolutely, old boy.

A thoroughly shaky do.

I say, look here, I wouldn't take the CO's

outbursts ...

... too much to heart if I were you.

He's a desperately keen type.

A wizard squadron C.O.

And all that sort of thing.

But he's apt to be a bit

touchy sometimes.

He ... he's been at it an awful long time.

But he's pure gold when you scrape down.

Absolutely pure gold.

Do you mind if I have a look

over Jemima while I'm here?

No.

How's it going, Wailes?

Sliding a bit easier now, sir.

Give me an hour, sir,

and I'll have it running like silk.

Good show. I hear they nearly

clapped you in the cooler this morning.

- It won't do, Wailes.

- No, sir.

How the hell do you expect me

to fly if me rigger's in chokey?

Very sorry, sir.

- You're a clot, Wailes.

- Yes, sir.

Now, that's a good tip, Septic.

Never get into a kite until you're sure

you can get out, pronto.

There's many a keen type plucking

his harp now ...

... because his cockpit wouldn't open up in time.

I'll remember that.

We've come to readiness, sir.

Good-o, Pete.

Thanks very much.

That's Peter Haddon.

Quite a good type.

He's got 4 already.

Gentlemen, and others of Pimpernel Squadron ...

... meet our latest recruit ...

Pilot Officer TB "Septic" Baird,

The celebrated leap-frog man.

- Wotcher, Septic.

- Welcome, stranger.

Welcome to Coney Hatch.

Make way for the stunt man, chaps.

And may all his bogies be bandits.

Come into our parlour

and inspect the gallery.

On my left is squadron homework.

And this bedraggled streak

is Pilot Officer Mortimer ...

... our faithful tail-end Charlie.

Tail that wags the dog.

This is Wally.

This is Nobby.

Meet Septic, the celebrated Highland flyer.

Hiya.

And this ... this is Jacko.

Would this be a bomb sight of a Junkers 87?

Bang on! Good for you, Septic.

Actually, it's our earliest trophy.

And this is the rudder off a Ju 87.

And that's a bit of wing

off a Ju 88.

Quite a Junkers shop, in fact.

Tactful pilots usually laugh ...

... at this point in my conducted tour.

And this bit ...

This is the driving stick

off an Me 110.

See? Look here.

"August naturen gesellschaft. "

German.

Spinner.

And here ... yes, now...

now, here we have ...

... an exhibit of especial interest ...

... to the young pilot.

The most highly derogatory order

of the irremovable digit.

What's it for?

Slinging around the neck of types who land

with their undercarts up.

Taxi into other aircraft,

overshoot on landing ...

... or otherwise blacken

the fair record of the squadron.

No doubt you all think it's I who

should be wearing it now.

Squadron scramble, chaps!

Hastings, Angels 1-5!

Sorry to drag you over from Gravesend,

Richard, at this hour of the night ...

... but it's the only time

I can be sure of getting ...

... all my squadron commanders

on the ground together.

Oh, well, that's quite all right, sir.

Well, gentlemen,

I was over at Group this afternoon ...

... and I thought perhaps

you might like to know ...

... what the AOC had to say

about the way things are going ...

... and are likely to go.

Oh, thank you, sir.

Yes, well, you keep your thanks until after

you've heard what hes said, Richard.

Very briefly, intelligence believes ...

... that the Jerries have

just been probing so far ...

Testing our defenses.

At any moment now,

the real shenanigan may start.

I've often wondered why

the much-boosted Luftwaffe ...

... hasn't put up a better show.

For the old reason, Bill ...

The strong always

underestimate the weak.

But we're not as weak

as all that, sir.

Do you know how many squadrons

there are in Fighter Command, John?

About 50.

Yes, 50 to defend the whole country.

On the same basis, the Jerries have ...

... 120 squadrons of bombers,

and 80 of fighters ...

... from Brest and Amsterdam alone.

Makes you think, doesn't it?

It makes me pray.

Yes, well, you'll be wasting your prayers

but for 3 things ...

We've got better aircraft, better pilots ...

... and perhaps, most important of all ...

... we have radio location

and ground control.

That's where Peter and his boys

in the Hole come in.

Hear, hear.

Any idea what the next move

of the Jerry will be, sir?

Yes, I'm coming to that.

You can bet your shirts that he's got

all our Ops Rooms and Sector Stations ...

... neatly ringed on his maps.

If he can flatten our fighter defences ...

... then all the rest of it

is a piece of cake to him ...

... invasion and all.

So you'd better get your Emergency Ops Room

on the ...

- ... top line right away, Soss.

- Yes, sir.

Meaning that we can expect

some unwelcome visitors any time now?

Exactly, Peter.

Oh, yes. And talking of visitors,

much as I regret it ...

... I think we shall have to curtail

our social activities here.

I don't like risking wives, sweethearts ...

... and also-rans on the aerodrome

under the circumstances.

So I'm afraid next Sunday's cocktail party ...

... will have to be the last.

So, let's make it

a memorable praznik, huh?

- Have some sherry.

- Thank you.

I don't think you've met

Groucho Carfax's sister Betty, sir.

- How do you do?

- How do you do?

I'm sorry your brother

can't be here, Miss Carfax.

He's one of the unlucky ones.

His squadron is in readiness.

Beeswax Red were taking off

just as we came in, sir.

Were they?

It's too bad the way Operations ...

... interfere with our modest pleasures.

Perhaps he'll be back in time to join us.

I hope so.

In the meantime, I'm sure that

Pilot Officer Raynes will look after you.

Don't let him bore you

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