Animals United

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(GENTLE INSTRUMENTAL MUSlC)

(BlRDS CHlRPING)

(BlRDS SQUAWKlNG)

(lNSTRUMENTAL MUSIC CONTlNUES)

(CHlLDREN CHATTERING)

- Junior.

- Yes, Mum?

- Have you seen your father?

- Dad went to get water.

(JUNlOR)

Hey, wait for me! Pass it, come on!

Come on! Quickly!

Hmm?

Hmm...

(YAWNS)

- (BUTTERFLY SQUEAKS)

- (LION LAUGHS PLAYFULLY)

(HOWLING)

(GROANlNG)

Ha-ha-ha! Bet l scared you, right?

(CACKLES)

Now tell the truth.

The hairs on my neck

are all standing on end (!)

Hmm...

What was I supposed to do?

I know!

(HE GlGGLES)

Yes! Yeah!

(GIGGLES)

All right...

Oh!

Oops!

Hey-ho, Giselle.

Hmm...men!

- Did you see that?

- Yes, but what WAS that?

Only hard-as-a-rock,

sun-dried hyena poo-poo.

Oh, l see...

(HUMS)

Fini!

Well...how do l look?

Erm... Uh...

Totally chic! Unbelievable!

Darling, this is a work of art.

I call it "Macaroni and Cheese".

It would suit you too, Giselle.

A neck wax wouldn't hurt, either.

No, thanks.

Hmm...

Mm-hmm...

It's a matter of concentration.

Yes, clearly.

And the perfect wind conditions.

Naturally.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

(BLOWS)

Aw...

Billy?

Yoo-hoo, my turtle dove!

- What are you doing?

- Hello, Bonnie. You look lovely.

We're, erm... What are we doing?

Walking around, thinking, talking...

Hitting hyena poo into a hole.

That as well.

I was just going to tell you.

You hit...hyena poo-poo...into a hole?

- With a stick.

- Oh, with a stick!

- Bingo.

- Interesting. And who thought that up?

- Me! l thought that up.

- I thought so.

What were you supposed

to do today, hmm?

Supposed to do today, supposed to do...

Uh...Socrates, do you know?

- You were to get water.

- Oh, that's right!

Oh, Billy...

I really think you are

and always will be a scatterbrain.

But l sure love you.

This is serious!

Er...don't tell me.

You went to a beauty salon!

- Hmm?

- It'll grow out. lt's a law of nature.

(GISELLE LAUGHS)

- I didn't say a thing.

- Stop acting like such a fool!

The water that flows down the mountain.

It should have got here by now!

I'll play the water

down here with my drum.

(BOTH) Mm?

(WIND HOWLlNG)

(YAWNS)

(MAN) Many world politicians

and economic leaders

have gathered

for the 167th Climate Conference.

Here to the north they've all come,

as these brave officials examine

the dramatic effects of global warming.

- (MUNCHING)

- (CAR ENGINES START)

(MAN) Quick, the buffet's getting cold.

Peter Cook reporting

from Thule, Greenland -

the gateway to the Arctic.

(HOWLS)

(MAN) This was a wonderful day,

Winifred.

I've heard you say that

for exactly 714 years.

- Know what?

- Of course I know.

It's our wedding anniversary,

and l wouldn't have wanted

to miss a single day.

(SNORlNG)

(GREEK MUSIC)

(SNORES)

(CREAKlNG, THEN THUD)

Captain! Sir, l believe

that we've run aground.

(GREEK ACCENT)

Hmm, what? Run aground?

Bah, something

is moving all-righty. Yes!

My dear, the time has come

for us to be getting

on our way once more.

(THUNDER)

(ROCK 'N' ROLL MUSlC:

GOLDEN EARRING'S "RADAR LOVE")

# l've been driving all night

My hands wet on the wheel

# There's a voice in my head

That drives my heel

# lt's my baby calling

Says, "l need you here"

# And it's half past four

And l'm shifting gear

# When she is lonely

And her longing gets too much

# She sends a cable

Coming in from above

# Don't need a phone at all

# We've got a thing

That's called "radar love"

# We've got a wave in the air

# Radar love...#

Oh, man!

(MUSIC CONTlNUES)

(MUSIC STOPS)

(BOTH GASP)

You know what, pal?

Getting out

while the getting's good is good.

(GROANS)

AAH...

Here's to you, jumping buddy.

(GROANS)

(GURGLlNG)

(ROARS)

Hmm?

My name's Toby. What do they call you?

(BURPS)

Tell you what,

I'm gonna call you Smiley!

(BUBBLING)

(FARTS)

Oh, crikey! Strong stuff, mate!

Cheers.

You know, Smiley,

life's just too stressful here.

How does an ocean cruise sound?

The high life on the high seas.

You know, relax.

Just really stretch out.

- (GRUNTS)

- Good. Now smile.

Soon,you'll be braising

in a choice Burgundy.

(FRENCH ACCENT)

You pathetic worm.

Death to the tyrants!

Now, look at what I've done -

I've forgotten the garlic.

(LAUGHS)

Don't run away, l'll be back soon.

Ooh la la!

Huh!

It's liberty or death!

Vive la France...

(THUD)

- (HORN BLOWS)

- Adieu!

(WOMAN) A chicken?

Hello and welcome.

My name is Winifred.

- And l, Winston.

- The name's Toby.

(FRENCH ACCENT) Charles.

Pleasure to make your acquaintance.

(ROARS)

(LAUGHS)

- With whom do l have the honneur?

- This is my friend Smiley.

Things got a little bit steamy

back in the bush,

so we thought we'd take ourselves

on a holiday to cool off.

First it was just me and Smiley,

but then old Sushi climbed aboard.

- Euh, Sushi...?

- That's my name.

Yes. Well, then, carry on,

my fearless marsupial.

And then, four weeks out to sea,

we met the tortoises,

and since then we've had a plan.

Ah, a plan is good.

Euh, what plan?

The migratory birds who used to visit us

on our island in the summer

told us of a paradise of wonder.

Far away from mankind.

Ah, oui, a charming idea.

What a stroke of luck

that you 'ave met me. l will lead you!

(ALL GASP)

# La mer

# Les a bercs

# Le long des golfes clairs

# Et d'une chanson d'amour

# La mer

# A berc mon coeur

# Pour la vie... #

Our supplies are just about gone.

The water holes are running dry.

Now that you mention it,

my throat does feel rather dry.

Oh, without water we're lost!

And without water we'll die!

My stress levels are through the roof.

I'm having an anxiety attack!

- (ANGIE CLEARS HER THROAT)

- I'll shut up.

Well, l'll just consult with the oracle.

An oracle consult? This could be good!

O mighty oracle.

We humbly seek your advice in this time

of great fear and uncertainty.

Tell us, when will the water come?

I would advise you now, more than ever,

to keep the oracle in good humour.

- (CHOMPlNG AND GULPlNG)

- Aw...

That tree trunk just ate

our last bunch of bananas.

(TREE) Harrumph. The water will come...

when it comes, l suppose.

- The water's coming?

- The cup falls down the well until it breaks.

What in the world

is that supposed to mean?

Please, Billy,

you're insulting the oracle!

If the water doesn't come,

we have to find it!

Not stand here talking to a dried-up tree!

Did you just call me a dried-up tree?

That guy has got some nerve! Loser!

You offended the oracle!

It won't speak to us any more.

That was slick, loser!

Hey! My dad's no loser!

Humph!

(CLEARS THROAT) Comrades.

Each one of us 'as tragically lost

their 'ome, their friends, their family!

Stolen from under our noses!

And now, comrades,

we will find ourselves a new place to live.

One where there is no place for man.

Blaah!

Spoken with conviction.

(BUBBLING)

Heads up, folks!

(FARTS)

Now, that's some stress hormone.

We 'ave all crossed the Seven Seas

in nothing more than a rusty bathtub.

We 'ave weathered

the most terrible storms...

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