Annie Get Your Gun Page #2

"What he thinks of the moon

and what is on his mind

"That comes naturally!

"That comes naturally!

"My uncle don't pay taxes

his address never gives

"They can't collect his taxes

for they don't know where he lives

"Cousin Ben got angry when

they caught him stealing chickens

"'I'm within my rights,' said he

doing what comes naturally

"Doing what comes naturally

"Uncle Jed has never read

an almanac on drinking

"Still he's always on a spree

doing what comes naturally

"Doing what comes naturally

"Sister Sal who's musical

has never had a lesson

"Still she's learned to sing off-key

doing what comes naturally

"Doing what comes naturally

"You don't have to go to a private school

"Not to turn up your bustle

to a stubborn mule

"You don't have to come

from a great big town

"Not to clean out a stable

in an evening gown

"That comes naturally

"That comes naturally

"My uncle out in Texas

can't even write his name

"He signs his checks with X's

but they cash them just the same

"Grandpa Dick was always sick

but never saw a doctor

"He just died at 93

doing what comes naturally

"Doing what comes naturally

"Doing what comes naturally"

All right, kids.

Get on to the house with them birds.

The kitchen's around the back.

Be sure you don't count more than 20.

-Don't worry. He can't.

-Go on. Get along with you.

Say, that was mighty pretty.

Thanks. I like to sing.

'Course, shooting's a lot more fun.

I been shooting since I was 10 years old.

Fancy shooting?

I could shoot the fuzz off a peach.

See that rooster up there?

Yeah.

Now you don't.

Jumping Jehoshaphat!

How would you like to make $5?

Doing what?

There's a swollen-headed stiff

from the Wild West Show.

I don't shoot people!

He challenges anybody in the county

to a shooting match.

I can hit anything he can hit,

standing on my head!

-Watch this.

-No, I believe you.

I'll go make the arrangements.

You wait here.

-What's your name?

-Annie Oakley.

Annie Oakley.

Come on, Grandma.

I got to get you shined up.

How did you get your nose so dirty?

-What's that you got there?

-What's it look like?

It beats me. It's not a rifle, is it?

Ain't you got eyes?

Yeah, you got eyes.

You shouldn't be fooling around

with an old piece of junk like this.

You could get hurt.

This thing's liable to explode

and blow your ears off.

Give this back to your pappy

and get yourself knitting needles.

Hey, mister.

Do you reckon I could keep it

till this afternoon?

It makes no difference to me.

I don't want you to get hurt. That's all.

I just want to keep it long enough

to win a shooting contest...

...off of a big swollen-headed stiff

out of the Wild West Show.

You mean Frank Butler?

They didn't say his name.

Just that he was a swollen-headed stiff?

Yeah.

He's champion.

-What's that?

-He's the best.

He was.

You're set on yourself, aren't you?

About that, I am, but...

...soon as I try to shine up to folks,

I'm gawky as a scrub oak.

Ain't I?

I don't know. I've seen worse than you.

-Honest?

-Sure.

Good luck in the shooting match.

I'll see you there.

Hey, mister.

-Don't you like girls?

-Sure.

I'm a girl.

That's fine.

Is there any special kind of girl

that you like?

Yeah. I like the kind

that you see in picture magazines...

...sort of dainty and dimpled and rosy.

"The girl that I'll marry

"Will have to be

"As soft and as pink as a nursery

"The girl I'll call my own

"Will wear satins and laces

"And smell of cologne

"Her nails will be polished and in her hair

"She'll wear a gardenia and I'll be there

"Instead of flitting

"I'll be sitting next to her

"And she'll purr like a kitten

"A doll I can carry

"The girl that I'll marry must be"

"Oh, my mother was frightened

by a shotgun they say

"That's why I'm such a wonderful shot

"I'd be out in the cactus

and I'd practice all day

"But now tell me what have I got?

"I'm quick on the trigger

with targets not much bigger

"Than a pinpoint, I'm number one

"But my score with a feller

is lower than a cellar

"Oh, you can't get a man with a gun

"When I'm with a pistol

I sparkle like a crystal

"Yes, I shine like the morning sun

"But I lose all my luster

when I'm with a broncobuster

"Oh, you can't get a man with a gun

"With a gun, with a gun

"No, you can't get a man with a gun

"If I went to battle

with someone's herd of cattle

"You'd have steak when the job was done

"But if I shot the herder

they'd lock me up for murder

"'Cause you can't shoot a male

in the tail like a quail

"Oh, you can't get a man with a gun

"If I shot a rabbit

some furrier would grab it

"For a coat that would warm someone

"But you can't shoot a lover

and use him for a cover

"Oh, you can't get a man with a gun

"The gals with umbrellas

are always out with fellers

"In the rain or the blazing sun

"But a man never trifles

with gals who carry rifles

"Oh, you can't get a man with a gun

"With a gun, with a gun

"No, you can't get a man with a gun

"A Tom, Dick or Harry

will build a house for Carrie

"When the preacher has made them one

"But he can't build you houses

with buckshot in his trousers

"'Cause a man may be hot

but he's not when he's shot

"Oh, you can't get a man with a gun"

Ladies and gentlemen, gather round.

Now, without further ado,

it gives me great pleasure...

...and it is a great privilege

to introduce to you...

...Colonel William F. Cody...

...loved by you all

and known to you all as:

Buffalo Bill!

My young friends,

it always gives me great pleasure...

...to return to my favorite state, Ohio.

I am here today to referee a contest

of fancy shooting...

...between the best marksman

your county offers...

...and one of the greatest sharpshooters

the world has ever known.

Frank Butler!

Aided and abetted by his...

...charming assistant, Miss Dolly Tate.

Is Mr. Butler's opponent here?

-Is the contestant ready?

-Yes, sir.

Good.

Ladies and gentlemen...

...prepare yourselves

for the thrill of a lifetime.

Two men of steel pitted against each other

in a savage struggle...

...of skill and stamina.

What's his name?

-What's his name?

-Annie.

Annie!

What's so funny?

Are you trying to make a fool of us?

Frank Butler can't shoot against a girl.

-You said anyone, didn't you?

-Yes, I know I did.

-Are you afraid of a little girl?

-No, it isn't that, but--

She might fool you.

-What will we do, B.B.?

-Nothing.

The little lady accepted the challenge.

She is entitled to her chance.

Are you really Buffalo Bill?

Why, yes, little lady.

I'm Annie Oakley.

Miss Oakley, I am honored.

You are?

Frank, your opponent is ready.

Howdy.

I told you I'd see you here.

You didn't tell me you were

the big swollen-headed stiff.

Ain't we got a tablecloth somewhere?

-Are you ready, Mr. Butler?

-Ready!

Are you ready, my dear?

-Yeah, but what're we shooting at?

-Birds.

Birds?

Where are they? I don't see any birds.

These are clay birds, my dear.

They come out of a trap, in front.

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