Another Day in Paradise

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2

Come here,

you little f***ing bastard!

Get up!

Come here, you mother f***er!

You little mother f***er!

I am going to f***ing kill you!

Oh f***.

Oh my God!

Oh my God!

Oh my God! Bobbie!

Oh sh*t! F***ing no!

Oh my God!

Oh God baby,

what happened to you?

I'm gonna get my Uncle Mel,

he used to be a medic.

Got guys through combat

and sh*t.

You're going to be okay, Kid.

Your old uncle Mel is here.

Just kick back.

I don't have any morphine...

but this is some

of the best smack around.

If this don't kill the pain...

nothing will.

- You're a doctor, Melvin?

- Yeah.

Yeah, I'm a doctor shooting

you up with heroin.

That's right.

No kid, I'm just a...

I'm just a junkie

and a real good thief.

They kind of go together.

That's it, pal.

Beginning of story.

End of story.

There you go, ba-da-bing!

What I wouldn't give

for veins like that.

And don't you ever call me

Melvin again, you little sh*t.

Thanks, Mel.

Hey, you keep a real nice house,

ever hear of a trash can?

Okay so, here is the deal.

What are you doing? Hey.

- Put that down.

- Chill out, man.

Chill out? Put it f***ing down.

Are you f***ing joking?

Bobbie, you look like sh*t.

The cops are after ya'.

I mean you're hotter than a freshly

f***ed fox in a forest fire.

Okay?

Now I iced your nasty

little ass down.

I stopped most of your

internal bleeding.

I put ice packs on your

tiny little head

so maybe the brain damage

won't be too bad.

Gave you my best dope.

And I have spent two f***in'

days in a sh*t hole

I would not send my

worst enemy into.

Okay?

Making sure you don't

go into a coma.

So...

Listen to me when I tell you.

If you leave here,

they are going to bust you.

And if you shoot any more speed

in the next f***ing month,

your brain will pop

like a f***in' balloon.

- I got to go out for speed, man.

- Just listen to me, man.

If you walk out the front door

of this f***ing building...

or if you do any more Meth,

I will personally break every

f***in' bone in your body

that already ain't broken.

And I'll kick the sh*t out

of Danny for letting you do it.

- Do we understand each other?

- Yikes.

Yes?

We cool? Good.

All right.

So, princess?

Can I trust you to keep these

two idiots out of trouble?

- Right on, brother.

- Right on, baby.

Ba-da-bing.

See you later.

Bye, Mel.

I'll f***ing kick your ass

you little b*tch!

F***ing give me your sh*t,

you little f***ing c*nt!

Bobbie, I got to piss.

Bobbie, I got to piss.

Damn, Bobbie.

So how do you like

my ride, Bobbie?

- It's not bad.

- Not bad?

I betcha' never even been in

a Cadillac before,

let alone the full glory of a top of

the line tricked out Coupe de Ville.

Anybody who says crime don't

pay only knows guys like you.

F*** you, mother f***er.

I'm not some little kid.

I just made seven-eight hundred

bucks in one night.

Yeah, in f***ing quarters.

Probably got a hernia

draggin' them home.

- Sh*t son.

- Hey, I ain't your son,

and I got the f***ing quarters home.

You damn near got killed

doing it, right?

I got this stealing thing wired.

I don't need sh*t from you.

- How old are you?

- Old enough.

Why don't you save the tough guy routine

for people you might actually scare.

I'm not f***ing putting you down.

I'm trying to make a point.

I don't know how old you are,

but I'm going to bet you money

you got a driver's license

that says you're 18 or 19.

And I'll give you 10 to 1

that it's off by 2 or 3 years.

You're doing dope all day.

Every f***ing day and you're

stealing with both hands.

Here's my point.

You think you're a thief.

You know what you are?

You're a bust waiting to happen.

A pro, okay,

only steals when he knows

everything is in his favor.

When he f***in' knows

he's not going to get caught.

There's only a few true

professionals around,

and guess what?

They don't do dope.

See, eventually the drugs

are going to make you f*** up.

And voila, you're in the penitentiary.

The thing is, for guys like us,

you just try to make that run

as good and as long as you can,

before it's over.

Which it will inevitably be.

That's my point.

- So, how old are you?

- Old enough.

F***, that's right.

Good answer.

Never plead guilty.

Tough guy.

How long have you been on your own?

Forever. What's the difference?

I'm just trying to figure things out.

It's how my minds works.

Sue me, f***, Jesus.

Are you ready to graduate from

screwdrivers and vending machines

to some really serious larceny?

- Like what?

- Like a major score. It's all set up.

Why me?

You must have tons of guys.

I need a guy who's small enough

to get up into a cramped space

and hide there for nine or ten f***ing

hours and be f***ing cool about it.

Yeah, why not Danny,

he's your blood.

Fair question.

Danny is my sister's kid.

If I got him into the f***in' life,

she will kill my ass.

Naw man, you got f***in' smarts.

That's what I like.

And you're a tough kid.

Tough. How old are you?

You're already in the life, kiddo.

I hate to say it.

You need someone like

uncle Mel to show you the ropes.

So what do you say?

Tell you what.

This is going to be a couple

of days work,

and your end is going to be

ten grand, minimum.

- Sounds good.

- Deal?

- Sounds real good to me.

- All right. You got it.

- So what do I got to do boss?

- Okay, first thing.

- We leave tomorrow.

- All right, yeah.

We'll be gone a couple,

three weeks maybe.

Be fun, all right?

Okay, you got it.

You figure out what you want to do

with your girlfriend, okay?

If you want to bring her along,

that's fine with me.

Oh hey, send Danny down,

I gotta get him home.

- I'll see you tomorrow.

- Hey Ace, hey!

Shut the f***ing door,

it's hot out there.

Thanks, man.

Maybe he ain't coming.

You know he could be f***ing

with you, baby.

Naw baby, Mel is for real.

He is just coming late,

that is all. All right, babe?

All right baby, whatever you say.

You are the boss.

He sure is late.

He is not that late.

All right here he comes.

This better be him.

Hey, how is it going?

Hey, Ace.

Jeez-Louise, they are

f***ing babies.

Stop it!

You two are Bonnie and Clyde?

So are we.

I love desperados.

I do, don't I?

We are going to have

a really good time.

My name is Sidney.

But you can call me Sid.

- Hi.

- Hi.

Now my dimwitted

friend over here...

has what you call,

poor impulse control.

Aye-yi yi-yi.

Cock-suckers never eat

hair pie.

Now wait a minute, let me guess.

That is your luggage, right?

Which probably means you

have jeans and a tee-shirt?

Which means that we

are going to have to go shopping.

- We dropped the best acid...

- Shut up.

I'm going to take you

guys shopping.

I think you need

a whole new wardrobe.

I need a whole new wardrobe.

That is for sure.

You got a wardrobe

for ten people.

Melvin being the absent minded

professor type that he is,

he also forgot to mention that

you both are absolutely

f***ing starving to death.

Jesus Christ you schmuck,

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