Answers to Nothing Page #5

all of the steps

of their initial evidence gathering.

As you can see, they're taking

what appears to be the family computer.

Officials are not speaking to us

about this latest development,

but obviously they think

there might be some information

that could help them

in figuring out

what happened

to little Christie Dillon.

Well, that's an interesting

development.

Keep us posted on that, Al.

Hey, Mom, can I go to Magic Mountain

with Julie's family tomorrow?

Sure.

She said I could go!

But it's my day off today,

- so you and I are gonna...

- Oh, my gosh.

I cannot wait to ride the...

hang out.

So here it is.

All right.

Looks like it's all here.

Okay...

Say, "Please whip me."

Please whip me more.

- Louder! I can't...

- Please whip me more!

You want it harder?

You forgot the command.

God! F***. Damn it.

Louder!

Yes, ma'am!

Say, "Please whip me."

Please whip me more.

Louder! I didn't...

Please whip me more!

You want it harder?

Yes.

You forgot the command.

Come on.

Louder. Yes, ma'am.

Come on. Come 0... Hey.

Hey, what's up, baby?

W-What are you doing?

What do you think I'm doing?

Yeah.

Uh, hi.

Oh, great. You're done.

We were getting worried about you.

Yeah, somebody might want to

talk to the building manager

about a little heat in... in the room.

That would, uh, help things along.

Okay...

Yeah, and, uh, also your...

the magazines are worn out.

Okay...

And the... the videos are, uh...

They're not accessible.

Okay...

I've never met a person in my life

who so completely inspired me.

When I first saw you in the U-Cen

surrounded by those three girls...

I thought that you looked

like a womanizing frat guy.

And after you bought me

that cup of coffee

and you tried out the worst

pickup line I had ever heard...

And, no, I'm not gonna embarrass him

by telling you all what he said,

but trust me. It was bad.

After everything that you gave me,

my sweetheart,

I can at least promise you

that I can take that one to my grave.

I love you, Sam.

Excuse me.

I'm sorry.

Do you want me to meet you

at your house?

Would you like to go to lunch?

Um, yeah. I just...

Let me grab a... a water.

I will never forgive you for this, Drew,

everything you've put us through...

- Mom...

- All this torture.

First you destroyed your brother's life,

and if that wasn't enough,

you had to destroy ours, too.

How could you do this to us?

This to you?

I'm the one who wants

to take care of him,

not stick him in a home somewhere.

He needs qualified,

responsible caregivers.

He needs people who love him.

Love? You talking

about the kind of love

where you put somebody else's

needs before your own?

Are you going to do that?

You are far too selfish for that.

Mrs. Bryant, please.

Your son is coming home.

No more talking from you.

No more talking from you.

You've done enough.

So tell me something about yourself.

Oh, I don't know. Like what?

I don't know.

It doesn't have to be

some deep, dark secret.

Okay...

I was born with an extra kidney.

No, I swear to God

It's just a little one.

It doesn't do anything.

But, look, when I was 10

I went to school one day,

and there was this kid who said

that his cousin or somebody

had been traveling overseas

and someone had kidnapped him

and drugged him

and tried to steal his kidney

and sell it on the black market.

On the black market?

You believed this?

Well, I was 10,

so all I'm thinking is

"Whoa, I got a huge pile of cash

sitting inside here,"

and... and I put an ad

in the local paper.

You put an ad out in the paper?

Well, what were you gonna charge

for your own little baby kidney?

$500 or best offer.

That's not a bad deal.

I thought so.

So how are you going

to deliver the goods

- when somebody called for your...

- I was 10.

I hadn't thought the thing

through all the way, okay?

- But I did get one call.

- No, you didn't.

Yeah, I swear to God.

And so, of course,

then my parents found out,

and they thought I'd lost my mind,

so they made me go see a shrink,

and then everyone in school

found out,

and this... this one kid filled my locker

with, like, 40 cans of kidney beans.

It was awful.

Anyway, it kind of

put a stigma on me

that lasted a while.

That's kind of sad.

Yeah. You probably think

I'm a total weirdo now, huh?

No. I mean, you were 10.

If anything, it's indicative

of your early entrepreneurial spirit.

Your parents should have

encouraged it.

Right.

Okay, your turn.

My turn for what?

Tell me something about you.

Come here.

I hate black people.

Th-That's, um...

I'm guessing that can be

a problem sometimes.

Yeah.

Will... Will you stop...

Please stop taking my picture.

You know, I didn't come up here

to watch you sweat your balls off

running the hills of San Francisco.

I came here to make sure

you shave that

prison p*ssy ASAP.

You know what? This is...

it's very good luck.

Oh, the race is over,

so unless you want to audition

for a Village People tribute band,

it's got to go.

Oh, my God. It really

bothers you, doesn't it?

Yeah. Every picture

I have of my brother

running one of these races...

Oh, look,

he looks like a gay porn star

running from a bunch of rabid fans.

Someday, uh, you're gonna have

to run one of these with me.

Thanks for the offer,

Well, that's never gonna happen.

Besides, I don't have time to train.

No, really. Yeah.

Yeah, I'm busy.

Doing what?

Vampires get more sh*t done

in the day than you.

Come on. All you got is time.

We are 15 seconds away from

this year's SoCal Marathon.

You ready?

5,4,3,2,1!

I had a date with a guy last night,

and we're seeing each other

again later today.

So it went well.

Yeah, it was great.

And then I told him

I hate black people.

Okay, and how did

he react to that?

He laughed, and...

he was kind of weirded out,

more uncomfortable

than freaked, I think,

because he's a white guy.

Why do you, uh...

Why do you think you did that?

I don't know.

Um, I like to see

white people squirm?

Do you like this guy?

I do. I really do.

Sometimes I feel like

I have these automatic

responses for white guys.

I just... I wish I'd never

told him that, you know.

I... I wish I'd never said that.

"I hate black people."

Why?

Did he say something

to trigger that from you?

No. He told a story,

and it was vulnerable and sweet.

He's a sweet, nice guy.

I think I...

pushed him away,

like I do with everyone at my job.

I'm the only black person

working on this show,

and I just... I get so angry.

Ah, scratch that. Uh...

the two security guards at the gate,

they... they're black.

And there's another-

another executive

who is female also,

and she's black.

And the valet, he's black.

Why does it bother you?

Because I feel like I'm selling out.

I mean, look at you.

You were recommended to me

from my white writer friend.

You know, I should be

with a black therapist.

Allegra, if you're uncomfortable,

I could recommend...

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