Antarctica: A Year on Ice Page #3

and setting

like normal days

and you can actually

leave the curtains open

on your window at night

to be woken up

by the sunrise in the morning.

We were out and the wind came up

and there was just moments

that it was so cold

I could really

actually feel the danger in it

and feel the...

this crazy like mind thing

that happened that was like...

it was hard to focus on anything

except just getting out

of the conditions we were in

and trying

to just be warm again.

It was really hard

to still focus on

gathering all of the gear

and trying

to do what needed to be done

rather that just run

for whatever vehicle

or, you know, it was...

it was amazing how

your instinct...

it just...

it just snaps.

The first time where

I was just ridiculously cold

was actually with you

just a few days ago

taking the shift photo

up on the hill.

Oh yeah.

The wind was whipping

through there.

I'd probably say it was

negative 80 with wind chill.

And I remember

looking over at Chris Cavanaugh

and tears were streaming

down his face.

He didn't even know it

because it was so cold

and the thing that surprised me

is when he looked

at me a second time

those tears had frozen

to his face.

So that's...

that made an impression on me.

Maybe it's time to get inside.

We're about 30 K's away

from the nearest seawater here

and it's still quite common

to find guys like this.

It's a mummified seal

that's lost its way

and wandered inland.

It's an amazingly

common occurrence.

It's heartbreaking when you see

animals in distress like this

because we're not allowed

to interfere

We just have to let nature

take its course.

It can be really hard

just being away from home

and hearing stories.

My sister just had a baby boy

a week ago.

And that day was...

really bittersweet.

It was really cool,

but man I wanted nothing

more than

to get the hell out of here

just for a day.

Go home and enjoy that moment

with my family

because they were all together

and then I was down here,

you know,

shooting emails out all day

and then on the phone

a couple times

and that was really really hard.

So for me,

what sucks is definitely

missing family,

but more importantly

missing these big moments

with them,

you know,

my family's lives back home.

Well, I mean, first of all,

I had my concerns.

And this is what I do

always in my life

that if I'm ever feeling low

I have things around

just in case.

One of the things is I brought

a lot of photos of my family

so I have them taped

to my fridge.

And then I just know

that there's always

people on my side

even if it seems like the walls

are closing in down here.

It was just like any other day

and the phone rang.

It was my grandmother

and immediately

my heart sunk because

I knew something was wrong.

And she told me that

my father had passed away

and...

it was quite a shock.

I never expected that

it was...

it was really difficult.

I mean, when you lose a parent

it's a big thing.

And to not be able

to be with your family

during that time

and not being able

to go to the funeral.

I just...

it leaves things unfinished.

I wanted to be there

for my family.

I needed to be there

and I couldn't.

It's probably the most

isolated place on the planet

and that's really hard

to adjust to.

I can see people who...

one winter would be

enough for them.

It's really hard for a lot

of people.

I found that there

was this curve

where I just really

started missing like

eating sushi and Indian food

and going to movies

and just like...

the life.

And then it became like so much

that I just really

missed it a lot

and then it just

dropped off and...

I don't miss...

I don't know if it's like

a post-traumatic stress

disorder response

or I don't want to think

about what I miss

or I'll get really distressed

or what it is,

but there's

not a lot that I miss.

I've been thinking

about avocados lately.

An avocado would be nice.

You may want to have

a toast with avocado

and then you can only

dream about it.

But simple as...

black tea with fresh milk

or perhaps even better

with fresh cream.

Dark bread.

Cauliflower.

It's brilliant.

Just to have

a fresh head of cauliflower

would be very nice now.

Noooooo!

It's no good we can't do

anything for him now

In the winter of 2008,

I started a 48-hour

Antarctic film festival.

and invited all the bases

on the continent to participate.

One of the greatest pleasures

of watching these films

each year

is just getting to see what

the other bases look like...

and who else is out there

wintering over on the ice.

Carolina,

great to hear your voice.

Yes how are you?

I'm good. Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.

Everything's good here.

Just um...

having...

having my breakfast

and some coffee.

How are your parents?

- Another hour?

- Ummm.

Are we ever going

to see the sun again?

One day.

Guess you start to get used

to living in a world

without light.

The days get short

and the nights get long

'till the nights get real long.

Towards the end

of the month there...

there's no more sun

and...

that's all she wrote.

I was scared

of the coming darkness

the coming darkness

for so many months and I thought

is that going to get to me?

Is that going to make me...

well, how will that affect me?

I was pretty scared of that

and how that might...

just change me.

I would correspond

with winter-overs

when I was off the ice

and you could just

see it in their emails.

They would change.

And I'm like wow

is that going to change me?

I don't know.

As it is the light changes

enough in the sky

that it's still seems to me

that the sun is just

around the corner.

And I think that's had a great

effect on me because

it just reminds me that no,

it's not just dark.

Attention all stations

standby for a severe

weather condition announcement.

McMurdo weather has set

Severe Weather Condition One

McMurdo Station, T-site,

Arrival Heights,

Pegasus Field,

Williams Field,

road to Williams Field...

Check this out.

This is the entryway

to our dorm.

Normally this has carpet

on the ground

and the walls are just

normally walls, you know,

But...

We're going to open

the door right now

and it's a little bit

like opening up

the door to another world.

Are you ready?

It's a little bit blowy

out there right now.

You know,

when you watch television here

and you see all the things

that are going wrong

in the world

you know that's...

it's like thank

goodness I'm here.

But then you also

then watch shows where

you see swaying palm trees

and people laughing

and bucolic scenes

and you're not there.

You're here where it's

dark and cold and windy.

I was out on the sea ice,

and suddenly

off of Observation Hill

comes rolling

these just waves...

waves of green...

like fairy dust.

Like a giant curtain

of fairy dust

just kind of undulating over me

that filled the whole sky

and just moved in waves across.

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