Antiviral Page #3

We've got a pre-autopsy pool

going with the guys in accounting.

Mercer's playing it safe

and going with flu virus.

I'm thinking of taking a flyer

and going with food poisoning.

Do you think

it might have been food poisoning?

I don't know.

Of course, no one's saying drugs.

They'll never admit it if it is drugs.

- She didn't do drugs.

- Oh, you knew her well?

She was a Buddhist from birth.

She couldn't even take painkillers

or she would have been beaten.

I hear we'll be selling ringworm

from her dog Brom to fans with dogs.

Brom's getting a following.

Hey, Dorian turned your sample over

to the board this morning.

That's a bit exciting, our little shop

on the fringes of a media frenzy.

Can I have a 900 pack?

What's a 900 pack?

Hannah Geist variety pack.

Everybody's guzzling Geist today.

Everyone's talking about her...

Oh, my gosh.

I don't even know if I can say it.

Her anus. You heard that right.

Rumours of the young star's situation

have been spreading like a rash,

with news outlets as far as Japan,

Australia and even the Middle East

scrambling to get the poop

on recent documents

leaked by the office

of Aria's specialist.

Swedish media network SM has even offered a bounty

for photographic evidence

of the unusual condition.

Sources close to her say

the normally hard-partying celeb

hasn't been seen in public since.

Well, that settles it.

I'm getting a camera.

- You would do that.

- The hunt is on.

Meanwhile, Hannah Geist's

former dog walker has opened up

in a recent interview

with our sister station.

51-year-old Helen Pinto was employed

full time at the now-shuttered estate

and caused quite a stir earlier today

when she claimed to be holding

one of the star's used panty liners.

Pinto said she retrieved the liner

towards the end of Hannah's illness

and was in the process

of having it analysed...

- What's with the cane?

- I've been having a little trouble.

I've gotta make a quick stop

before we get your part.

It must have happened overnight.

We found them like this in the morning.

I've never seen anything

like this before.

I mean, they were fine

when we shipped them.

Obviously they weren't fine.

You sold me bad meat.

Well, are your trays clean?

Don't f*** with me, Arvid.

Don't you even f*** with me.

- OK. I'm sorry, Luc.

- I can't serve this.

They think they're getting Hannah Geist

and I'm feeding them Ron Deggy.

OK. I'm gonna find out

what happened and I'm gonna fix it.

So do I get to know what's killing you?

An antique Michael Felix bug

I sold the other day.

It was a mistake.

Apparently the copy protection on some

of those old samples got a little weird,

but I didn't think

I'd get another chance.

Sounds reckless.

I'm just trying to keep things

interesting for myself.

- For two?

- Is Levine around?

Sure, he's in the back.

I'll let him know you're coming.

You'll like Levine.

He's one of my best guys.

I just wanna make sure

he's comfortable with all this.

Hang out here.

Is that you?

I've done everything you've asked.

I'm not strong enough to escape.

Please say something.

Hannah.

Oh, thank God you're here.

I'm so afraid.

I'll do anything you say.

Please, please just let me go.

Do you...

Do you want me to hurt myself?

I can't say no to you.

- Hello?

- What was that?

Please repeat yourself

so I can obey your command.

Do you want me to hurt myself?

Do you wanna see my body?

Please, I'm so afraid.

Please.

Please.

- Are you still there?

- All right, let's go.

- What is this thing?

- I can't take it any more!

It's part of a new franchise.

Levine has the only location in town.

- Tell me what to do. I'll do anything.

- It's catching on, though.

- Come on.

- I'll do anything.

Please.

Please.

Levine.

Syd March.

It's always strange

to meet the competition.

So Arvid here tells me that

you actually work at The Lucas Clinic.

Yeah.

I think one of your friends

is a customer of mine.

Really? Yeah,

Vera brings me bugs sometimes.

So that's kind of cool, huh?

You're like an inside man.

I think I'd be too contemptuous

to play that game.

Oh, yeah. Levine's too classy

to profit from such trash.

I'm talking about politics.

I get that we're all rat men here,

Arvid, scavenging the bin.

But I like to think that my work

is purposefully gross at least.

Allows me to hoard

a little dignity somewhere.

No offence. I don't even think

dignity's still valid currency.

I appreciate you

helping me out like this.

Anything for a friend of Arvid's. Here.

Where'd you get this?

I built it using old parts I co-opted

from a contact at Vole & Tesser.

I've been modifying it for years.

The resolution is somewhere between

one of the new ReadyFaces and a 7-86.

You, uh... wanna run your blood

through it right here?

No, thank you.

Yeah, that's fine.

So I don't have your 80-box,

but I can get one within the week.

- Arvid said you had one.

- I thought I did.

Turns out none of my stuff

is compatible.

Levine's all right.

Hey, I'm completely trustworthy,

all right?

I already know the guy

who can dig one up for me.

As a sign of good faith, though,

I would like to get your payment

out of the way while you're here.

My what?

The sample.

What sample?

The sample. What the hell, Arvid?

I told Levine you'd give us

a bit of that Hannah Geist bug

you've been carrying around.

Arvid.

Don't be a miser.

Hey, you. You gonna faint?

I hope you're not taking this

too personally.

Well, I'll admit I was a little insulted

when I found out

you weren't gonna share with me.

Were you gonna shop it around?

Did you just want this one

all to yourself?

OK.

Listen, I understand

these are special circumstances.

You and I both recognise that.

When we're done here,

I'll find you a doctor who will keep

your situation low profile.

And then we'll get you fixed up...

and you can still work for me.

All right?

Your clock is counting down

at a maniac pace. You need a friend.

- All done?

- Almost.

I wouldn't mind grabbing

a bit of that rash for good measure.

Now, I would love to do this properly

if you would just stop freaking out.

Coffee.

Do you mind?

Hm.

Did you hear she died in her sleep while

her boyfriend was in the other room?

Then he got into bed

and slept beside her body

the whole night without knowing.

Can you imagine what an ordeal

it must have been when he found out?

I have no idea.

Every night since I heard that,

I've been touching my wife

before I go to sleep

just to make sure she's still warm.

Excuse me.

Right.

- What can I get you boys?

- I'll have the calamari.

I'm fine.

- How about you?

- I'll have the calamari.

Two calamaris.

You're looking pretty sick.

- I'll live.

- Is that true?

I think you're a lot worse

than you're letting on.

I'm sorry. We're just waiting for a car.

My name's Portland and this is West,

and we're taking you to meet someone.

I'd rather not.

Are you planning

on being difficult about it?

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