Antz

Z (O.S.)

(over a dark screen)

All my life, I've lived and worked in

the big city...

We see:

EXT. AN ANT MOUND - DAY

The camera swoops towards the entrance, then dives inside,

past a couple of tough-looking soldier ants who stand at the

gates of the ant colony like insect bouncers...into an access

tunnel that snakes this way and that, past a row of ants

plodding along...

...and into the MAIN CHAMBER of the colony, a huge, teeming

vista that seems to stretch away forever, filled with ants

rushing here and there on their business. We see -- a

"traffic cop" directing foot traffic, waving his arms like

crazy so both sides move at once -- a column of soldier ants

marching along in formation -- a chain of ants letting down

a matchbox elevator filled with workers.

Z (V.O.)

...which is kind of a problem, since

I've always felt uncomfortably in

crowds.

INT. MOTIVATIONAL COUNSELLOR'S OFFICE - DAY

We join Z, a worker ant with issues. He's lying on a couch,

recounting his woes.

Z:

I feel...isolated. Different. I've

got abandonment issues. My father

flew away when I was just a larva.

My mother didn't have much time for

me...when you have five million

siblings, it's difficult to get

attention.

(pause)

I feel physically inadequate -- I've

never been able to lift more than ten

times my own weight. Sometimes I

think I'm just not cut out to be a

worker. But I don't have any other

options. I was assigned to trade

school when I was just a grub. The

whole system just...makes me

feel...insignificant.

MOTIVATIONAL COUNSELLOR

(enthusiastic)

Terrific! You should feel

insignificant!

For the first time, we see the ant MOTIVATIONAL COUNSELLOR.

He's a mixture of Tony Robbins and Ron Popiel (the

hyperactive late-night TV huckster, and founder of "Ronco").

Z:

...I should?

MOTIVATIONAL COUNSELLOR

(hopping around

enthusiastically)

YES!!! You know, people ask me,

"Doctor, why are you always happy?"

And I tell them it's mind over

matter. I don't mind that I don't

matter! Do you get it? Do you get

it?

Z gives a fake smile.

MOTIVATIONAL COUNSELLOR

(incredibly "up")

Z, we're part of the fastest growing

species in the whole world!

The counsellor rolls down a chart from the wall. An arrow

shows ant population going up, up, up.

MOTIVATIONAL COUNSELLOR

Ask me why we're so successful.

Z:

Why are we so successful?

MOTIVATIONAL COUNSELLOR

I'm glad you asked me that question!

The motivational counsellor opens some blinds...and we see a

vista of the ant-filled chamber below.

MOTIVATIONAL COUNSELLOR

What do you see out there?

Z:

...Ants...

MOTIVATIONAL COUNSELLOR

Right! Ants! Millions of creatures,

each with his assigned task, all

pulling together!

Down below, we see a group of ants carrying a boulder up an

incline. One worker ants slips, and the boulder rolls down,

crushing his leg. The other ants rush over -- it looks like

they're going to help their fallen comrade, but instead, they

climb right over him, and pick up the boulder, continuing

with their task.

MOTIVATIONAL COUNSELLOR

You see? Being an ant is being able

to say, "Hey -- I'm meaningless,

you're meaningless."

Z:

But -- but I've always felt life was

about finding meaning...and then

sharing it with someone special,

someone you love.

The motivational counsellor puts his arm on Z's shoulder...he

seems to understand...

MOTIVATIONAL COUNSELLOR

Z...you need help.

(looking at a clock)

Whoops! We're gonna have to stop

there. Your minute is up!

The counsellor ushers Z out of his seat and towards the door.

MOTIVATIONAL COUNSELLOR

Now back to work! We've made real

progress! Remember -- let's be

best superorganism we can be!

INT. EARLY MEGA-TUNNEL - DAY

A gigantic tunnel, with the size and scale of the "Chunnel".

A banner strung overhead reads: "The Mega-Tunnel -- Tunneling

Our Way to a Bright Future!" Along the walls hang 50's work-

incentive style posters with messages like, "You asked for

it, you got it -- more work!" and "TWO MEALS A WEEK IS

ENOUGH!!!" Line after line of ants is working on the tunnel,

digging, passing clumps of dirt from ant to ant, everyone

synchronized.

CLOSE on a clump of DIRT being passed from hand to hand.

PULL OUT TO REVEAL

AZTECA, a feisty, cynical, female worker ant, who stands

there, waiting to pass the dirt on. Z is daydreaming behind

her, with clumps of dirt starting to pile up in front of him.

AZTECA:

Hello?! Earth to Z! You better snap

out of it, or there's gonna be a lot

of pissed off ants!

Z looks back, and sees the ants behind staring at him angrily.

Z:

(snapping out of it)

Sorry Azteca. Here you go, fellas!

Fresh dirt! Alley oop!

(looking at the dirt)

Shouldn't we be wearing gloves? I

mean this dirt is very...dirty.

Doesn't anyone think of hygiene?

(Z's stomach growls)

Boy am I hungry. I'm so hungry I'm

seeing double. It looks like there's

two million ants in here. When's

lunch? Tomorrow, or the day after?

AZTECA:

(sweetly)

Z, old pal...

(shouts)

SHUT UP!!! It's bad enough there's

a food shortage without you

complaining about it every day.

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