Antz Page #11

BALA:

(now she's panicked)

Quiet -- sshhh!!

Z:

(digging it in)

-- At the worker bar! You were

pretty hot to trot then!

BALA:

SSHH!!! SSHH!!!

A livid Formica is stalking over towards them.

FORMICA:

(furious)

What's this? A worker has been

masquerading as a war hero?!

Z:

Well it wasn't a masquerade, really,

it was more what I'd call a clever

ruse --

FORMICA:

ARREST HIM!

Z:

Can't we all settle this like

adults -- we're not larvae anymore --

Angry officers begin to surround Z, who hides behind Bala in

fear, using her as a shield.

QUEEN:

Oh my god! He's taking her hostage!

Z:

No I'm not -- I mean -- nobody move!

Or the Princess gets it!

People shout and scream, as Z backs up with the

Princess...into the kitchen.

INT. KITCHEN - DAY

Z backs up into the kitchen, still pulling Bala along with

him. Here, ant chefs are preparing food for the party,

vomiting little florets onto a platter. Formica and the

soldiers follow them in.

Z:

(to Formica)

Stay back, you lunatic! Do you think

I don't know how to use this?

Z realizes that he's pointing his finger at them.

Z:

Uh-oh.

The officers rush for...and Z, with Bala in tow, falls

backwards into an opening marked, "GARBAGE".

EXT. ANT MOUND - DAY

HOLD ON:
the GARBAGE CHUTE EXIT. Nothing happens for a

moment. Then --

From a distance, we hear the faint sound of SCREAMING,

dopplering closer --

-- and then Z and Bala come flying out of the exit, right

into the mud, cutting off the scream abruptly.

Bala sits up, coated in mud. Z is nowhere to be seen.

Because she's on top of him.

PRINCESS:

This is thoroughly unacceptable!

Z:

You're telling me...

She gets up and runs back towards the colony entrance, where

soldiers are already issuing to get her...

BALA:

I'm coming! I'm coming!

But...just as Bala'a about to be rescued...what looks like a

gigantic LASER BEAM sweeps along the rim of the colony,

sizzling the ground as it moves along...and IGNITES the lead

soldier into FLAMES! Bala looks stunned.

Z watches in horror as another soldier ant is FRIED, and we

look up to see a GIGANTIC MAGNIFYING GLASS casting the

beam...we can just about make out the huge, grotesque figure

(a seven year old kid) holding it.

Bala, who has no idea what's really going on, turns from the

colony and runs the other way.

BALA:

I'm going! I'm going'

...unfortunately, this draws the fire of the laser, which

follows after her in what looks like a strafing run, SIZZLING

in her footsteps.

Z, who's running towards the princess, suddenly realizes that

he's running towards certain doom...and joins Bala in legging

it away from the colony; under a brown leaf, which bursts

into flames...between the redwood-like stalks of some

flowers...and finally into the relative safety of some

grass...where they throw themselves on the ground, exhausted.

CUT TO:

EXT. WEED CLUMP - DAY

Z and Bala dust themselves off.

BALA:

What was that thing?

Z:

How should I know?

BALA:

I order you to find out where we are!

Z:

Alright, alright, I'll try to get

directions from one of the locals.

Z tries to flag down some passing bees.

Z:

Excuse me, I --

(it passes him by;

he tries the next)

Pardon me --

(same response)

And they call them social insects.

BALA:

Climb up that tree and get a better

view!

Bala points to a thin blade of grass. Gingerly, Z tests the

grass and starts climbing up it...but his weight bends it, so

that he's lowered back to the ground, face to upside-down

face with Bala.

BALA:

I've been kidnapped by the village

idiot.

Z:

Who's the bigger idiot -- the idiot

who gets kidnapped, or the idiot who

lets herself get kidnapped by the

idiot?

BALA:

How dare you speak to me like that?

I'm the Princess!

Z squares up with her.

Z:

Theoretically, yes. But is the

monarchical hierarchy applicable

without the underlying social

structure to support it?

BALA:

Of course! It defines society! To

deny the precept is to say that order

is an arbitrary distinction applied

by the society itself!

Z:

But can there be a society composed

of just two ants?

BALA:

No! There's no such thing as "just

two ants." You never see just two

ants -- you see a million ants!

Z:

Look around, sweetheart.

She looks around. She doesn't like what she sees. She

glowers at Z.

BALA:

I -- hate -- you.

Z:

Well I guess that makes us even.

BALA:

Ha! Don't make me laugh. You're

crazy about me! That's why you lied

and cheated to get near me!

Z:

Oh come on, you're the one who came

after me -- the swarthy, earthy,

sensual worker!

BALA:

(repulsed)

I was slumming it! I danced with you

because you were the most pathetic

specimen in the place!

Z:

Is that the same standard you used to

choose General Formica?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes