Anything Goes Page #5

I like trout fishing.

That's what I mean. So do I.

I think my favorite sport is swimming.

Mine, too. In a cold ocean.

No, warm pool.

We used to go on beach picnics all the time

when we lived home.

- Do you like picnics?

- I could learn to.

Can you...

cook?

Oui. I studied in Paris.

I burn toast. But I can make crepes

suzettes.

Who wants toast?

It's amazing how much we have in common.

Neither of us likes burned toast.

- I bet you love music.

- I love jazz.

Do you really? I've got

a wonderful collection of records at home.

We'll sit in front of the fireplace

and listen to them.

I've got hundreds of them.

It'll take us years.

I don't mind.

This is a funny conversation

for us to be having.

Yeah. It's like it's happening

to somebody else.

- I'm kind of scared.

- So am I.

We're a perfect match.

Two cowards.

No, Ted, we'd better not.

This is only our first night out.

Yeah, I know.

Let's take a walk.

- lf I can control myself.

- Please do.

All right.

- I can't.

- You can't?

No.

I feel a sudden urge to sing

The kind of ditty that invokes the spring

So control your desire to curse

While I crucify the verse

This verse I've started seems to me

The tin-pan-tithesis of melody

So to spare you all the pain

I'll skip the darn thing

And sing the refrain

Take it away

The night is young

The skies are clear

And if you want to go walking, dear

It's delightful

It's delicious

It's de-lovely

I understand the reason why

You're sentimental

'Cause so am I

It's delightful

It's delicious

It's de-lovely

You can tell at a glance

What a swell night

This is for romance

You can hear dear Mother Nature

Murmuring low

"Let yourself go"

So please be sweet, my chickadee

And when I kiss you, just say to me

It's delightful

It's delicious

It's delectable

It's delirious

It's dilemma

It's delimit

It's deluxe, it's de-lovely.

- Patsy?

- Yes, Ted?

You won't go away, will you?

No, Ted, I won't go away.

- Ted?

- Yes, Patsy?

- Won't Bill be getting worried?

- Bill who?

Let yourself go

So please be sweet

My chickadee

And when I kiss you just say to me

It's delightful

It's delicious

It's delectable.

It's delirious

It's dilemma

It's delimit

It's deluxe

It's de-lovely.

Honey?

Back up.

Good night, Ted.

Or rather, good morning.

Good morning, Patsy.

You should...

not.

You're right. I'll take it back.

Are we rehearsing later?

Let's rehearse now.

I mean the show, silly.

Oh, the show.

The show.

- Patsy?

- Yes?

You are the most wonderful girl

I've ever met.

Remember that, even if

you never speak to me again.

- Are you coming or going?

- I wish I knew.

What, have you been up all night?

Yeah, I couldn't sleep.

I've got us in an awful mess. I should've

listened to you in the first place.

Patsy's perfect for the part.

- She's just great!

- So is Gaby.

Yeah, but this play

is just not about a French girl.

I should never have signed her.

- What did you say?

- I said I should never have signed Gaby.

You have just solved our whole problem.

- I did?

- Sure!

Tell Gaby what you just told me.

Tell her you signed another girl for the part.

- You're right. I'll send her a cable.

- Cable? She's on the boat.

- Make a date to meet her.

- Yeah.

- I'll do it this evening.

- Oh, no. Now.

In the cold, gray light of the morning.

- I'll go to her cabin, then.

- No, no. Cabin's too cozy.

- Up on deck, then. I'll go, I'll take her to...

- An office. Take an office.

- Whose office?

- Anybody's office.

Just get a good cold, bare room.

The setting's half the battle, you know.

Sort of a reverse on

the moonlight-and-soft-music routine.

You get them in a cold room, you know,

it throws them off balance a little.

They can't dim the lights on you...

and slip you that invitation

to sit next to them on a soft sofa.

You've got it down to a science.

I've been practicing a little longer than you.

Another important point

to remember is that...

you got to give her a good breakfast

before you start explaining.

It will mellow her.

- Feed her.

- Don't beat around the bush, either.

This thing's got to be settled today,

or it's going to be too late.

Well, there you are. It's as simple as that.

Look, I'll never make it.

You wrote the book. Why don't you do it?

It'd be a cinch for a master like yourself.

No. You signed her.

It'd be better coming from you.

Yeah, but she likes you.

You could soften the blow

better than I could.

Sorry.

This is something you are just

going to have to settle yourself.

Remember everything I told you, now.

I can't do it, Bill, because...

I've come to pick up Miss Duval

for breakfast.

Breakfast? We are asleep.

- Will you tell her I'll pick her up for lunch?

- Lunch?

I do not think we will be awake, Monsieur.

Tea?

We are skeptical, Monsieur.

- How do you all feel about dinner?

- Dinner!

I am sure we will love

to have dinner with you, Monsieur.

- Fine. Our name is...

- Monsieur Billy Benson.

We have been expecting you.

Au revoir, Monsieur.

- You're Steve Blair, aren't you?

- Yeah.

I seldom forget a face. Now, let me see.

- Pimlico. You were...

- No.

I don't think you've ever seen mine before.

My name's Todd.

- Nice to know you, Todd.

- Thank you.

- Have a drink.

- Not while on duty.

Well, I'm not on...

United States Treasury Department.

Glad to see I rate an escort home.

We've had quite a time

catching up with you.

- I've been traveling a lot.

- Yes, I know.

I've handled a lot of income tax cases

in my time, but yours is driving me crazy.

- Mind if I ask you a question?

- Be my guest.

- We know you are a gambler.

- Mathematical consultant.

Yeah.

We followed your career

as a mathematical consultant...

all the way from Saratoga to Santa Anita.

- Santa Anita.

- You had five straight bad years.

That's not my fault. Arrest the horses.

On the sixth year, you reported no income.

That's right.

The government can prove that you won

over a $100,000 that year.

Sure, but that wasn't mine.

I had to take care of the guys that

took care of me during the five bad years.

You had the money.

Why didn't you pay your taxes?

- What do you think I am, a crook?

- Now, look...

What have we got,

a government full of welchers?

It's not ethical to let your friends down.

They let me have the money,

so I paid them back.

And I would have paid you, too,

but I had nothing left.

So I figured, why declare it

and put you to a lot of trouble?

What do you suppose would happen

if everybody felt the way you do?

The country would be loaded

with racetracks.

I'm sorry. Mr. Blair, it's my duty to...

Look, Todd, I ain't gonna run out on you.

Do me a favor, will you?

Just lay off until after the boat lands.

Please!

- Hi, Dad.

- Hello, honey. This is Mr. Todd.

This is Patsy, my daughter.

- Hello, Mr. Todd.

- How do you do, Miss Blair?

Patsy's going in a Broadway show.

Are you in the theater, Mr. Todd?

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