Arcadia Page #2

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A promise is a promise.

And one of those... the Cherry Tripler.

Gotta be 18 for those.

I know. It's for my dad.

That's for my mom.

I'll bet.

Come on, Nat.

Ohh!

Look.

Where'd you get those?

Did you pay for that?

Nope.

You were the decoy, and I snagged...

That's stealing.

Guys, come on.

Let's go.

Go bring it back.

No way.

Greta, come on. They're just Tootsie Rolls.

What if Mom knew you did that?

Guys, come on.

That's nice. It's not even noon,

for Christ sakes.

Whole country's

going down the tubes.

We'll do a number after

we cross every state border.

Come on, Greta.

That'll take forever.

What are you nerds

whispering about back there?

Nothing.

What's that nudie thing for?

It's not a nudie thing.

It's for luck.

Oh. Cool.

- Are you sure, uh, this is the right way?

- I don't know.

It said you had

to get on the 65,

but I don't know

if you passed it.

The 65's back there.

What?

Jesus!

Hey, slow down, a**hole!

Dad.

You like that?

I'll sit here all day

if I have to.

Huh? Is that better? Idiot.

F***in' a**hole!

You must be a f***ing a**hole!

What did you call me?

F***ing a**hole!

You got something to say?

Back the hell away from me, moron!

- Back off. - Get out of the f***ing

car and say that to me. Huh?

I'll f*** all y'all up!

Dad! Dad, what are you doing?

Get the f*** away from my kids!

F***ing a**hole! I'm gonna f***ing

sue the sh*t out of you!

Don't you f***ing go anywhere!

I got your f***ing license plate, a**hole!

If they ask you kids anything,

just agree with what I say.

What?

Just do as I say.

Now, what exactly happened

out there?

You know we're gonna have to check

and see if he's pressing charges.

Well, we were on our way

to a wake.

These kids' aunt...

passed away.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Yeah.

They certainly

didn't need this today.

I... I'm sorry for what happened,

but that man verbally and then physically

threatened my kids and me.

I was acting in self-defense.

Who started the argument?

He did.

He approached the car,

spewing profanities.

He... He threatened us.

He could have had a gun,

for all I know it.

I... I...

I felt like I had

to protect my family.

See, when something like that happens,

you gotta be smart.

You gotta decide

which is the bigger risk...

acting or staying passive.

Because it was safer to get out there

and confront that maniac...

than to let him pull a gun

and shoot all of you.

Hey, when someone threatens you guys,

I'm not taking any chances.

You never sit back

when you're in danger.

You find a way out of it.

But you lied.

I know.

Sometimes

you have to lie, Greta.

What would you do if Dad

was in jail right now, huh?

Where would you be? Probably at

some overfunded government facility.

Mom would come get us.

Your mom's not here, is she?

In the larger scheme of things,

that lie isn't gonna hurt anybody.

It helped us get out

of that situation, that's all.

You kids are good sports.

You guys want dessert?

Like this.

That's what they're used to.

A chicken?

Do you think Dad would have

really gone to jail yesterday?

I don't know.

I don't think so.

Well, they would have

sent us home, right?

Not to some overplundered

government facility.

I hope not.

Why not? Cause I really don't

wanna go back there.

Hey, guys, do you think

if they found out Dad lied,

they would have

put him in jail?

I don't think so, Natty.

No.

Who's he talking to?

I'm not accepting that.

Who was that?

It was a business call.

- What aren't you accepting?

- Were you eavesdropping?

No.

Can we call Mom now?

No.

Why not?

She's not home yet.

Well, then can you give me

Aunt Deedee's number?

I don't have

that kook's number.

Hmm? Who's there?

What the hell

are you doing, Greta?

I was just getting some air.

Get back in bed.

There's psychos out there.

The Earth is here,

and Mars is the closest planet.

What about Ganymede?

Huh?

Ganymede, the moon by...

the moon by Jupiter.

Oh. Right.

And Europa.

And the other two.

Well, sure, if you want to get

that detailed about it.

It's not detail, Dad.

It's the facts.

Well, technically it's both.

And...

Hmm?

What's that? My meteorite?

You don't recognize it, Nat-man?

You should.

Oh.

Hmm?

Uh, it's too close to Jupiter

to be Saturn. Mm-hmm.

Um, and it...

So it might be "Callisto or IO."

It's Uranus.

What?

What's Uranus doing there?

Oh, Dad.

Girls, look at Nat's Uranus

out here next to Mars.

Caroline, where's that horoscope

you were reading?

Maybe Nat's Uranus is entering the

House of Venus, for luck in love.

I hope Nat's Uranus doesn't

cause another Big Bang.

Mine wouldn't.

Yours would. Aw, pltt!

Yes.

Can... Can we call Mom now?

Hi. Tom, Jane, Caroline,

Greta and Nat aren't home.

Please leave us your message.

We'll call you back.

Mom, it's us.

Hi, Mom.

Uh, we just wanted to see if you

were home, but I guess you're not.

Or maybe you're at the Kents'?

Hey, Mommy, we're in Missouri.

And don't forget to bring Fluffy. Bye.

We love you, Mom.

You got five minutes.

Well?

Told you guys.

# Rolling, rolling, rolling

# Behind

# Rolling, rolling, rolling #

# Rawhide That's right.

It's... # Keep

those dogies rolling #

# Rolling, rolling, rolling

Rawhide #

No!

All right. Stay in the car.

I'll be quick.

Yes, sir.

Where are you going?

Dad said to stay in the car.

I'll be right back.

Wait up!

Come on, Griz. Let's go.

Dad's probably back by now.

Griz!

What if our place

looks like that?

Probably full of psychos.

Greta, come on.

Hey.

Hey, guy.

Greta!

Hey, hey, hey.

He don't like trespassers.

Aw, G... What are you doing!

Where were you guys?

Greta almost got

attacked by a dog.

I told you to stay in the car.

I had to mail something.

Next time you do as I say.

You all right, Greta?

- Isn't this place nice, guys?

- Nicer than a homeless shelter.

I love this place.

Why don't you get

the meat loaf, Griz?

Order the meat loaf for Harrison.

I'll eat whatever he doesn't eat.

I know what I want, thanks.

Natty, what are you having?

Either the half chicken or the...

fettuccine Alfredo.

Fettucine is a rip-off

for something with...

no protein, eh.

No protein, Tony!

Oh. Hello.

How are you today, Agnes?

Are you ready to order?

Well,

got a couple questions first.

How big would you say the chopped

steak is? Is it a good size meal...

Well, it says right there. Steamed

vegetables, choice of mashed,

baked or rice.

And the size?

Of the meat?

It's a normal size.

I asked you a reasonable question,

and I'm expecting

a reasonable response.

Is it eight ounces?

Ten?

Six? Five?

Four? Three?

Two?

All right, just...

bring me the meat loaf with the mashed

potatoes and a glass of the house red.

My son here will have

the half chicken. Greta?

I'll have the chicken-and-corn salad.

Hold the chicken.

- What do you mean, hold the chicken?

- I don't want it.

I'm not asking you.

Just bring it with the chicken.

I don't like the chicken neither.

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