Are You Here Page #3

"hopefully for the education

of her children

"should she have any."

Had to get

that in there.

"To my only son Ben,

"!'m assuming

that you're here,

"I leave my house,

my business,

"and the remainder

of the estate,

"with the hope that

he get his sh*t together."

- What?

- You got to be kidding me.

That would include the

farmhouse and it's 144 acres,

the grocery store and its

underlying property on Main Street,

that's the whole block,

and the rest of his assets

which totals

close to 2.5 million dollars.

Oh, my God.

I need some air.

This is total bullshit.

Jesus, Terri.

Was even competent

when he wrote this?

Your father was quite lucid.

I'm sorry. My suit

was really itchy, I...

So I'm not mentioned

in there at all?

It's a lot

of money.

2.5 million dollars?

It's more

than a lot of money.

No, honey.

I meant the 350 for us.

It is.

Why aren't you happy?

You told me you thought she

was going to get everything.

She's up to something.

Believe me.

Like she boned

a 77-year-old man

for five years

for nothing.

But the will said

this is what she wanted.

Why does she

hate me so much?

It's really amazing.

I mean, it's all here,

pretty much as simple

as filling out some

change of address stuff.

What's the deal?

You overdo it

on the celebrating?

Because I just started.

I don't know.

You don't know what?

This is what we've been

working for your whole life,

to inherit this money.

You know what

we should do?

Order pizza.

Call those a**holes up

at Massata's and say,

"Guess what?

You have to deliver

"all the way out

to the Baker farm."

Pay them $1000

if that's what they want.

"Get in that Tercel

"and get that pizza

out here now, f***ers."

And they'll do it.

I'm not hungry.

It hurts my head,

all these facts and figures.

What are you talking about? You're

four credits shy of being an MBA.

I'm not a businessman.

I hate businessmen.

If Jerry Garcia

hadn't lured you away

you would have been

a great businessman.

Who knew there was so much

money in a country store?

I don't want money.

You don't have to put such a

shitty spin on everything.

Maybe this is your

father's way of giving you

a chance to be what you

always wanted to be.

This is my father reaching from

beyond the grave to control me.

The whole thing just insinuates

that I'm crazy,

that there's something wrong

with the way that I live,

but I'm fine.

Everything's fine.

I'm supporting you.

Of course everything's fine.

Look, I'm the last person

that should be saying this,

but what about me?

How's that?

What's the difference? I

don't like hurting you.

Well, I don't like that making a

baby feels like chemotherapy.

Look, honey,

your dad just died.

And I'm shooting you

full of hormones.

If that doesn't make

you crazy...

Are we going to do this?

You still look beautiful.

Thank you.

Sorry!

I'll be out

in a minute.

So you're really leaving?

What are you

going to do now?

Some friends of mine have a farm

in upstate New York.

Maybe I'll go hang out

with them for a while.

Just growing incense

and making your own clothes?

Not that you need any.

No, actually,

I have a degree.

I'll probably go back

to teaching special ed.

You got to look out for

Number One, I guess.

You are so lovely.

What's your point?

It's just I knew

the first Mrs. Baker

and she wasn't even

remotely in your league.

I mean, ever.

Are you stoned?

Sure, I'm the weird one.

You had sex

with a 900-year-old man.

That barrel chest,

those toenails.

It probably sounds

like a big joke,

since that's what love always

sounds like to people like you,

But Sam took pleasure

in everything in his life

that was real,

his food, his farm,

his business,

and yes, his wife.

So when you were a little girl and

you imagined being with somebody,

that was it?

I can't believe you.

Sam needed me.

And he deserved me because

he was wonderful to me.

You forget you're talking

about someone I knew

longer than you actually.

He stopped talking

to his son.

Ben stopped talking to him...

and it broke his heart.

Okay, well, maybe you'd better

run along and get high,

so at least one of us

can forget

we had this conversation.

Honey, what are

you doing out there?

Just trying to keep these toys

from killing the lawn.

I'll be up

in a minute.

Is something burning?

I smell smoke.

- Morning.

- Morning.

I could make you

some eggs if you want.

Wait, now, are they the kind

with blood spots in them?

They're eggs from chickens

who walk around.

So they do have

blood spots in them.

Okay, everybody,

are you sitting down?

Sit down, sit down,

sit down, sit.

I had a...

sit!

I had an incredible night.

And I swear to God

it was a visitation,

and Dallas,

I can't thank you enough.

Are you okay?

I am beyond okay.

I'm past okay.

I'm not even looking back

at it anymore.

Steve was right.

This is my chance.

Of course I can't do it alone,

but I was thinking

about taking the money

from the grocery store

and creating an institute

where people can come and study

how to regain man's balance

with nature.

Horticulture, agriculture,

aquaculture.

Angela, you know

about all of this sh*t,

and you can give lessons on

cleaning and all that woman stuff,

and Steve, if we're going

to have a society,

we're going to need

a TV station.

You could have

the whole station.

That sounds great.

You look like

you haven't slept much.

Why don't you sit down and

we'll have some breakfast

and talk

about the plan.

You understand I'm talking about

fundamental changes to society.

- Mm-hmm.

- I'm not hungry.

I have a mission statement

to write.

Is it...

always like that?

He usually doesn't make

that much sense.

I'll be right back.

Hey, genius at work.

I'm modeling it

on Plato's School of Athens

only not the Socratic method.

It's more like Buddha.

You can relax. I can see what's

going on in your face right now.

It's one tenth of what's

going on in my mind.

You told me that my father

had a plan for me,

to do what I wanted,

and this is what I want,

and I'm not

leaving you behind.

The TV station thing was

just off the top of my head.

I want you to know

that I'm grateful,

and the way

that I figure it,

there's enough for me

to keep the grocery store,

and for you

to have the farm

and the house.

And it's not a gift.

You've earned it.

Suddenly the plan seems

more appealing.

But I don't think you're...

you seem a little...

The journey to enlightenment

is stressful.

No, it's

not enlightened.

Great, Mom's home.

Why are you still here?

Why are you so angry?

This was my mother's.

I need you

to mellow out.

I need to keep my wits

about me.

I'm going to get this all down.

Please, you're out of control.

Let's take the edge off.

Great...

This is my wedding all over again.

What are you doing?

This is important sh*t. This is

a chance to right your life.

Drugs are not the answer.

That's what

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