Area 51 Page #2

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I don't know what happened.

Yeah, we'll definitely...

Mini-golf date is set.

God damn it.

Stupid phone.

What are you guys doing?

The jammer works.

We need flashlights.

What are the tennis balls for?

Don't worry about it.

Four cameras. Yes.

Six batteries.

Two, four, six, yep.

You really need four cameras?

Wearable. So we can attach to our

clothes whatever, under our arm.

Comes pretty handy.

And, as you can see,

that is you.

- Sweet. There I am.

- There you are.

It will come in

handy at some point.

There's so much

cool sh*t on this table.

Ben, be careful with that, all right?

Just don't drop that.

Okay, pills.

Just three, just three.

Okay, I'm good.

Darrin, where are you?

Dude, we got to get going.

Come on out, buddy.

Dude, those ammonia pills

are brutal.

You're doing a lot

of work there, Darrin.

It's an essential

part of the trip, Darrin.

Hey, when did we get this?

Taser gun?

Taser. God, I love America.

Don't mess with that thing, all right?

Oh!

Careful.

Careful, dude.

You can shock yourself.

Do you really think that

can f*** someone up, though?

Yeah.

Come on. Come on,

let's get packing.

Dude, are you all right?

Okay, that hurts a lot.

Are you okay?

Oh, man!

Oh, that will work.

That will take someone out.

Feel like I'm more of a man now.

It does really work.

That's what you

look like right now.

Never leave dangerous toys

around children.

Let's go.

You nervous?

Huh?

We're doing it.

We're doing it.

It's gonna be awesome, dude.

This is what's gonna happen.

We're gonna drive

up to the border,

or wherever I'm dropping

you guys off,

uh, say our goodbyes.

You're gonna get out of the car,

Reid's gonna get out of the car.

Walk about 15 feet,

and then you're both gonna be shot

in the head by snipers in the hills.

And I'm gonna be

crying in the car

because my two

best friends are dead.

We're not gonna

get shot, all right?

You'd cry for us?

The worst that could

happen is we get arrested.

And we're not gonna get arrested

'cause I got a plan.

It would be easier to rob a bank

than to break into Area 51.

And people that

rob banks get shot.

That's 'cause a bank

expects to be robbed.

Nobody expects anyone

to break into the base.

That's because it's impossible.

Ben, look at this.

Look at all this

land mass here, okay?

How are they gonna patrol all that?

It's not possible.

This guy we're gonna

meet tomorrow, Norio,

walked across at daylight.

It's the size of Connecticut.

You can't patrol all that.

It's a top secret

government base.

There's probably a bunch of

other things happening...

There's no way they have dudes

all around this circle.

Yeah, there's motion sensors,

there's ammonia sensors.

There's all kinds of security measures,

but we're gonna get around it.

You're gonna get around it

until you're shot in the head.

You guys are all talk.

This is never gonna happen.

I understand that

Reid's gone a little crazy

in the last three months.

No offense, Reid.

Who wouldn't want to see this?

You wouldn't want to see footage

of Area 51 inside of the base?

I don't understand why you're

so confused why I wanna go.

Because this has been,

this has all happened very quickly,

and suddenly we're going there.

And I don't know why

you have just accepted it.

All I know is that no one has

ever seen footage of the base.

No one's ever been there.

No civilian's ever seen it.

We could be the first ones to do it.

That would be the biggest...

What could be bigger than that?

Really good job

manipulating Darrin, Reid.

Just drive us

to the border, okay?

Hello? We're, uh, about

a couple hours from Vegas.

Yeah, he's talking

to that girl again.

She's not crazy.

You've never met her before.

Yeah, but he hasn't either,

man. He trusts her.

He already told her what

we're doing and everything.

I don't know why he thinks

this girl's so legitimate.

You know, her dad worked there.

No, her dad wrote a book

and claims he worked there.

You guys don't know anything

about this chick.

You're just trusting her.

I can make a f***ing website.

Even if she shows up,

Reid doesn't really know

anything about her.

What's the deal, dude?

We're good.

She's gonna meet us tomorrow.

Just because

someone wrote a book...

If he went to MIT and did work

for the government,

it makes sense that he'd be able to

write a legitimate-sounding book.

That doesn't mean

it's legitimate.

Well, that's what

we're trying to find out.

And then he killed himself,

so he's clearly stable-minded.

You don't have actual...

Ben, Ben, Ben, okay.

We know how to get past the

security measures outside the base,

but we don't know what to do

when we get on the base.

I need his information.

She's the only one who has it.

So if she is full of sh*t,

we can go home?

If she's full of sh*t,

we gotta find another way.

You don't have

to say anything to her.

Oh, I'll say something to her.

Don't. Don't do dick.

Please don't.

There we go.

I talked to, uh, Glenn Campbell.

Okay.

The guide,

and he's gonna

show us this, like...

Who are all these people

you're talking to?

Cameras, wearable cameras.

I'll wear one,

and you wear the other.

Okay.

We'll check for night vision.

There's no way I'm wearing one.

You can get that sh*t

into a strip club

and the bouncers and all that...

There's a lot of security at strip clubs,

I know, trust me.

And if you can get

that sh*t in there

and no one finds out,

you're gold.

Okay! Vegas!

Enough Area 51 talk!

That's the least I've ever been

excited about going to Vegas.

Look at this.

Just like Candyland.

Look at that.

Take a picture of that beauty.

- Hi, guys.

- How you doing?

How are you?

We're gonna check in for the Hooters.

Oh... Wow.

Beautiful.

Kidding me? No way.

Dude, this place is ridiculous.

There's a pool table?

There's a pool table!

Reid, what are you doing, dude?

Check it out.

This is what I was telling you

about. It's JANET airlines.

You guys kidding me right now?

We're in heaven.

Going to look at b*obs.

What are you doing, weirdo?

Dude, check out this thermal

feature on the camera.

Let me see.

See, it's picking up your heat.

Crazy.

I got an idea.

Let me know if it picks this up.

Oh, God!

This is not gonna be pretty.

Now look.

That looks like boob prints!

Those are my blueprints!

Seamless Gentlemen's Club.

We good?

Can't see anything.

Dude, move.

You're blocking my view.

Let's go in the private room.

Nice. Night vision.

Better get some

ladies in here soon.

I'm gonna be doing

this the entire time.

- They coming in?

- Yeah.

They better come in soon.

Hey.

Ready for some fun?

Hello, hello.

Yeah, I think

he needs a lap dance first.

That guy needs

a little bit first.

This guy?

Do these guys first.

I'll go after.

All right, all right.

I'm not gonna complain. That's fine.

You know, I'm happy regardless.

You are a gentleman and a saint.

You are a gentleman.

And a very good friend.

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