Arena Page #2

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Ladies, if you will.

Lights.

Lay in graphics.

Marvelous!

Outstanding. You've outdone yourselves,

my little pearls.

We are going live in three, two, one.

Cue music.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

I'm not gonna fight!

Boring.

What a coward.

If I was a betting man, Milla, and I am,

I'd say you're going to lose this one.

- No.

- Get up, get up, get up!

Ladies, please, do something.

My lids are getting heavy.

I'm falling asleep here.

- Yeah!

- Dude.

He's sh*t.

What?

Well, I'll be damned.

Oh, my God!

It is now time for the Fan-atics to vote.

Survey says...

Mr. Executioner, come on down!

I'm a paramedic.

I'm gonna stop the bleeding.

What's he doing?

I've got a child.

I'm David Lord and I've been kidnapped!

Cut the audio. Cue music.

Can you smell it? It's just like sweetness.

Naughty boy.

Get him out of there, please.

And we are out in three, two, one.

Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant show.

You were marvelous.

And you were marvelous.

Hey!

Stop right there!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

What are you doing?

He's an embarrassment.

I should have cut him in half there and then.

No, no, no, no!

You are not going to kill him!

Yes, I am.

Kaden, be reasonable.

Reasonable? This c*nt deserves to die.

Yes he does, but not this way.

It's wasted if he dies off camera.

F*** the cameras!

Kaden, where's your sense of adventure?

He wronged me.

He wronged us!

Look, I want to hold his head

on the chopping block for you.

But we can break him.

We can make him fight.

We can make him fight for us.

On our stage.

And if he won't?

Then you get your wish. F*** the cameras.

So, there we were.

Akiko got a headache from the flight,

so she went out to get some Aspirin.

That was the last time I ever saw her.

Searched the city for days.

Contacted the authorities,

the embassy. Nothing.

There was no trace of her.

And then I got a phone call.

It was the first time I ever heard that voice.

And she said

if I ever wanted to see my wife alive,

I should do exactly what she says.

It's so f***ing clich!

I should have known something was up

when she never asked for a ransom.

She told me to go to this bar outside the city.

To go alone.

But when I got there,

there was no Akiko.

Only that woman.

She's the same woman that brought you.

Then I woke up here.

How long has it been?

A month. Six weeks maybe.

When you never see the sun rise or set,

how do you know?

Why'd they choose you?

Because I trained with weapons all my life.

Have you fought?

Yeah.

It was either him or me.

We're all already dead anyway.

I brought you something to eat.

Why?

It's simple.

Satisfied?

You were lucky. You won't be next time.

Why do you care?

- I can help you.

- I don't need your help.

Without me, you'd be dead very soon.

What's in it for you, huh?

I recruited you.

You win, I win.

I know it must be maddening for you,

but your situation is hopeless.

Can't escape.

You can only hope to survive.

Who the hell are you?

I am that man behind the curtain.

You're sick.

When I was growing up,

my father used to stage these brutal,

bare-knuckle fights in the backyard.

All these a**holes would come over

and drink and gamble

and cheer the winners and spit on the losers.

Well, in my mind,

just watching those poor fools lose

wasn't enough.

So I've upped the ante, as it were.

I'm gonna kill you. You know that?

What we have here is

a failure to communicate.

I have always wanted to say that!

I love Strother Martin.

Where were we?

Yes.

The paradox.

You won't fight,

but you don't want to die.

But you will die,

if you won't fight.

You see our dilemma?

I won't fight. Not for you.

Well, who would you fight for? Your wife?

That's right. She's dead.

Well, what would you fight for?

Your freedom?

No, no, seriously.

I'll make you a proposition.

You give me, say, 10 fights.

- One down, nine to go.

- I didn't kill that man.

Horribly mutilated and left for dead?

Knowing he was going to be killed, huh?

Shades of gray, David.

Shades of gray.

You give me an all-out effort,

nine more times and win,

and I'll let you go.

I'm witness to kidnapping, torture

and murder.

I know your faces.

You really want me to believe

you'll just let me go?

Well, you'll be drugged and dropped on

some desolate road in a Third World country,

yeah, but you'll be free.

And as far as you knowing who we are,

you don't know sh*t.

Look, the FBI, Ml5, Interpol,

all kinds of motherfuckers are looking for us.

I don't fear a fireman from Denver.

I give you my word.

Give me nine more fights and win,

and, in the words of Abraham Lincoln,

"I'll set you free!"

F*** you! I'll die before I kill for you.

I am sorely disappointed. Crushed, really.

But I haven't lost my appetite.

What is your name?

You expecting a different answer?

Death Dealer.

How lovely it would be.

But first,

you must fight for me.

Or what?

You gonna kill me?

No. I'm gonna kill her.

Your friend's wife. Akiko.

You have three minutes

to kill your opponent.

And by kill, I mean...

Off with his head.

You do that in the allotted amount of time,

she goes free.

But you lose,

or you're one second over three minutes,

I will slice her throat,

and bleed her like a little f***ing piggy.

You know, they say

you drown in your own blood.

Sounds like a horrible way to go.

I'll take it that you accept my offer.

Hey, dude, come here.

You're retarded. Come on. Line up's up.

- "White Samurai"?

- Yeah.

He's only fought once. He's kind of a p*ssy.

You're kind of a p*ssy.

- I like the Dealer of Death.

- Death Dealer.

- Whatever.

- No, not whatever.

His name is Death Dealer,

that's what you should call him.

Shut up, okay?

Oh, my gosh, a damsel in distress.

- Classic.

- I love samurais.

Who doesn't?

Bring up the music.

Gently. Gently.

Now give me a breeze.

Lovely!

Ninjas don't like samurais.

That's not true.

Ninjas and samurais are like cousins.

- Yeah.

- Yeah!

- That is disgusting.

- I love it when they get gruesome.

- Do you think he's gonna make it?

- Yeah.

- No, he's done. He's done.

- No, he's hurt.

- What?

- Awesome!

- David.

- Taiga. Taiga.

Taiga, no, no, no.

They told me they would kill her.

I'm sorry.

- Safe.

- That was insane.

I'm sorry.

The White Samurai fought with bravery.

But was unable to defeat his opponent.

And unable to save his princess.

That was a little gross.

I'm sorry.

There's nothing I can do.

Why are you letting this man suffer?

End it. Kill him.

Kill him now.

Awesome!

Fade music.

Fade graphics.

And we're out.

That was astounding!

Kudos to us all.

You said he would fight, Milla,

and fight he did.

My money, please.

Ladies, will you please wire Milla's winnings.

Kawaii.

A little something extra.

You've done exceedingly well, Milla.

Your fireman from Denver

may turn out to be a rainmaker.

Hey.

You.

The one behind the curtain.

Yes.

I accept your offer.

I will give my absolute best

for another eight fights.

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