Army of the Damned

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Are you sure nobody's going to see?

I mean, look where we are.

No one's around us.

Don't worry about it.

Jimmy...

Relax, baby. C'mon.

Close your eyes.

- What?

Close them!

Alright.

Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy.

That's twice in one week, pal.

Does Ashley know about this?

Jimmy!

Alright, c'mon sweetheart.

Let's put your clothes back on, huh?

And get your asses back to school

Before I call your parents.

I guess we can close the

book on that case, huh?

Welcome to Salem county.

So, uh, are you guys just

in town for the night, or...

uh, tonight and tomorrow.

Depending on how much footage we get.

Oh well, I mean, hey

you're in town, right?

Because I know some great places.

I was just thinking, maybe

we could go get a drink,

Or some food.

You don't date cops.

Donut hole?

I wonder if we'll be able to film a

Segment with them tonight.

I mean, can you believe it?

An episode of the force.

Filming right here.

In Salem county.

And we're cops.

They follow you around with

cameras for five months waiting

For something exciting to

happen, and they end up with 15

Minutes of some fat broad

beating on her husband, smoking

Newports, wearing a tweetie bird shirt.

Trust me.

Nothing happens on this job.

And when it does, you

don't want a camera around.

Would you look at this.

Unbelievable...

I think it gives people an

authentic, organic perspective

On law enforcement.

Like I said, terrible show.

And what are they doing here anyway?

Detroit, Cleveland, I get it.

But Salem county?

Nothing ever happens here.

Nice people live here.

Nice people don't do sh*t.

We could use a couple

of bad guys in this town.

Shut up, who told you that?

They told me...

yeah, they showed up

here first. I should know.

They're not here right now,

but they were here earlier.

It's Kayla and, like,

a guy with a camera.

Stan and I watch the show every tuesday.

The point is, I know what Im

talking about, so whoever told

You that, is a lier.

Were you on TV?

I'd be so embarrassed.

Yeah...

Kaylas kind of pretty I guess,

but in real life she looks a

Little trampy.

Suzanne, Ive gotta call you back.

Yeah, Ill try to get you an autograph.

Ok, yep, bye bye.

Salem county police department.

What is your emergency?

Hello?

Please.

This call is being traced.

Hello, can you hear me? Is anyone there?

He's coming. He's coming.

Ok, we have your address.

The police are on the way.

Everythings, going

to be alright, honey.

Just stay on the line with me.

Stay on the line with me, honey.

Anybody up in rustic Salem county?

We got a domestic disturbance,

possible child endangerment

On 101 dean parkway.

Copy that.

Car 3 enroute to 101 dean parkway.

Ten four, back...

Say again.

We're losing you.

Let's roll.

Ok, just be yourself.

Pretend the camera's not even there.

We try to give our viewers

an authentic, organic

Perspective on law enforcement.

I look organic?

Alright, we are now recording.

Let me get some levels

from you, sheriff.

Uhh, what do you want me to say?

Why don't you start off by telling us

A little bit about yourself?

How you got started on the force.

Uh, let's see... how

did I get on the force?

Well, I grew up in this town.

My dad was the sheriff,

so I went to the academy

Right out of high school.

Worked in the city for a while at first.

Did a lot of undercover work.

Uh, homicide, things like that.

And believe it or not, after

all that, I came back home.

Kind of funny. Well

not really funny, but...

my dad passed away a few years

ago and when he was dying he

Asked me to watch over his

town while he was gone, so...

I guess that's what Im doing.

Sheriff bridge, can I just say...

I think it's quite commendable

that you left the excitement of

Big city law enforcement to

carry on your father's legacy.

Cut.

- Amazing stuff.

That was great. Beautiful.

Great job.

Couldn't of said it better myself.

Holy sh*t.

I'm gonna get ice cream.

Told you, you're a natural.

No yeah, ok.

I'm sure you say that to all the cops.

No you know, I think you

may have missed your calling.

Well thank you.

I mean, it's kind of fun, you know?

Sure as hell beats getting

shot at, that's for sure.

I just wish there was

something going on, you know?

A good old fashioned bank

robbery, a high speed chase,

Maybe a knife fight.

Get you some of that good stuff.

Excuse me one second.

- Ok.

Bridge.

What's up Carpoza?

get over here.

Alright, alright.

Oh my god.

No sh*t. Dean parkway?

What's that? You're cuttin' out.

Nah, I got service. It's you.

On my way.

Looks like we got some action.

Police, somebody called us.

Salem county police.

Open up.

I can't see a f***ing thing.

It

- It's like the power's cut.

Let's go around the

house. Let's check it out.

Okay

Look at this place. It's disgusting.

Who does their lawn?

Another f***ing waste of my time.

What?

I just saw someone in there.

You kidding me?

- No, look!

Salem county police!

Sometimes your eyes can play

tricks on you in the dark.

I saw a f***ing kid Carpoza.

Alright.

We will locate the girl,

and we will go from there.

K? C'mon

What the f*** is that smell?

I don't know.

Do you hear that?

Yeah.

What the...?

Jesus Christ.

I can't... what the f*** was that?

That sh*t's still fresh.

Whoever did that's still in this house.

Dispatch, come in.

Dispatch do you read?

What the f*** with this thing?

Ahhh!

Can you see? I can't see sh*t.

- No.

Ahh!

Car 3.

101 dean parkway. We're here.

Give me that.

Bridge!

Bridge, we have a homicide.

Bridge, I repeat, we have

an active crime scene.

Do not let that camera crew in here.

Cars 1 and 4.

That's everyone.

We've got five bodies

in there, princess.

You've got to be f***ing kidding me.

Ahh!

You can come out now, honey.

Everything's going to be ok.

Stay sharp.

Whoever did this could

still be in the house.

This isn't over.

Car 3, come back.

We've located the

juvenile and she is alive.

I repeat, she is alive.

It'll be ok, honey.

Who did this?

Here we go again.

Hey!

Get her!

Woah woah.

We should wait for backup.

F*** backup.

Stay here with the kid.

Well, Im going with you.

I said, stay here with the kid.

If you hear gunshots,

feel free to come down.

Salem county police.

So uh, what's your name, honey?

Well my name's Denise.

But you can call me d.

Is this a game?

Like I-Spy?

What do you spy?

Lawson!

Come here, honey.

Where's my partner?

Where's the nice lady?

Where is she?

Stay right behind me.

You'll be ok.

I'm sure you know the drill,

but I have to say it anyways.

We're dealing with some kind

of domestic disturbance, and we

Never know what we're

going to encounter.

So, do me a favor, keep your

eyes up and stay close to me or

Alright, you don't

have to tell me twice.

Policy is policy.

I understand sheriff.

No white balance, here?

How's it going, kid?

Well, at least you get a little

action for your girlfriend over

There, huh?

Yeah, no sh*t.

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