Arthur Page #6

He was up.

I got the kippers and eggs.

I'll get fired.

No, you won't.

Listen.

For lunch...

...I want the trout almondine

from Lutece. Tell Henri it's for me.

He shouldn't eat that.

I don't want his last meal

to be Jell-O.

Thanks very much. See you later.

Look who's up.

We have eggs, we have kippers.

We have croissants.

We have a yellow rose.

We have strawberries.

We have blueberry cakes.

We have orange juice

and great coffee.

Right. Table for one, sir.

Your regular.

You know, Arthur...

...I'm very glad you're here.

I want you to eat this.

This is costing me.

I've got chefs working at six

in the morning all over town.

You look awful.

That's because you've never

seen me sober. Now eat.

Come on. You used to make me eat.

It's not so bad.

You don't need to be

so frightened about it.

- What?

- Dying.

Seems natural.

Even comforting, now.

You're even teaching me

how to die?

I'm through teaching you anything.

You've grown up.

You can do anything

with your life that you want to.

What do you mean?

Figure it out.

You seen Linda Marolla lately?

Linda Marolla?

Why would you ask about her?

I don't know what I'm talking about.

I'm dying.

Want me to read you Shakespeare?

Hamlet was in big trouble

when we left off.

No.

You're a good son.

You take your average kid today.

He don't want to go in the army.

Yeah, what does he care? Dope!

But the Communists,

they go in the army!

If only we had some Communists here.

No.

While our kids are dancing...

...their kids are learning

how to fight!

Everybody's dancing here!

You're right. You're right.

It's not worth talking about.

- Let me buy you another drink.

- Right.

What do you do?

I'm a dance instructor.

No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding!

Honest to God.

I'm a dentist.

I hate dentists.

We're not bad guys.

It's not easy, you know.

There's teeth and gums and blood!

Oh, my God!

I have to get looped

just to walk into my office.

Bartender!

We would like two more, please.

- Haven't you had enough?

- I want more than enough.

How come you got all this

money for all these drinks?

I saved my money.

I haven't had a drink in a month.

Oh, my God!

Well, you see, my father died.

So I stayed sober.

One night at the hospital...

...he fell asleep.

I was watching him.

And then...

...he just kept on sleeping.

And I was all alone.

Oh, that's terrible.

Listen...

...I was lucky to know him at all.

Are you somebody's father?

No, I'm a drunk.

I have a brother

who moved to New Jersey.

I'm getting married soon.

Great!

I don't love her.

I don't love her!

Well, don't make a scene!

No, I'm sorry, but there's...

...this other girl.

She steals ties...

...and gives them to her father.

She's funny.

I want her.

I want her!

I have to go.

Sorry.

Sir, your wedding is within

less than five hours.

Listen.

Go see your brother.

All right?

Nobody should be alone.

It's awful...

...to be alone.

I want you to know, if he doesn't

show up for this wedding...

...I'll kill him.

Don't worry about it, Burt.

I talk to Arthur every day.

Since Hobson's death, he's stopped

drinking. He's anxious to work.

He's become a responsible citizen.

He'll be a good husband.

Thanks very much.

Have a nice day.

- Where's my roll?

- We're having it monogrammed.

Hurry up with the old man's roll!

Can I help you?

Do you recommend the French toast?

With all of my heart.

Lady, I got customers.

I'll have it.

You've made the right decision.

Wait a minute! Wait!

I've waited long enough.

Can you take the next

I'll have to ask.

- You want some coffee?

- Where's my roll?

Wait! I'll get it!

- What the hell's going on?

- She's getting your roll.

Here's your roll.

Arthur, what happened?

Hobson died.

I know.

He loved you very much.

Did you know that?

And I think I'll grow up.

I want to marry you.

Although I'm supposed

to marry Susan in 20 minutes.

- He's drunk, but he sounds sincere.

- Eat your roll!

The money.

Can you live without the money?

Well, we'll have to.

Please marry me.

I'll try to be sober

and to make you happy.

Although it won't be easy,

because I'll be poor.

We'll be poor.

We'll be poor.

- Most people are poor.

- Eat your roll!

Now, I have to tell Susan.

Come with me?

I got to change.

- I'll cover for you.

- All right.

Last night, I could have sworn

the moon was following me.

It was.

I'm Arthur Bach, the groom.

Congratulations!

Thank you. And to you too.

I wonder, could you tell me

where the wedding party is?

Right over there, in that room.

Thank you very much.

You've got a lovely...

...hat! Hat. It's called a hat.

Good luck, Arthur.

Thank you very much.

I'm Arthur Bach, the groom.

I'm Arthur Bach.

Did you forget your garter belt?

Sorry I'm late.

Susan, just the one I wanted

to talk to.

Nice dress.

- Arthur, the ceremony's just...

- Yeah, I know.

Could we just talk for a moment,

away from all these people?

Of course.

I don't love you. I don't love you.

- What is it, dear?

- I don't love you.

I don't love you!

It's right in that room over there.

Thank you.

Your hat is lovely.

I've heard.

You're drunk?

You're frightened?

I'm both of those.

I know, but I'm...

...in love with another woman.

- What, dear?

- I'm in love with another woman.

I'm in love...

...with another...

...woman!

Susan, the one innocent...

...person in all of this has been you.

I'm really sorry.

Shut up, Arthur! Just shut up!

Daddy!

Hello, Mr. Johnson!

He must be nervous.

Arthur gets nervous.

Here's your ring, Arthur.

I hope you're happy.

Now, stand up, son, I want

to kill you with my bare hands.

I think you know everyone.

This is Susan's father.

My God! Arthur, you're really hurt!

I've got him right

where I want him.

You animal!

Look, it's over!

He doesn't love your daughter.

I'm sorry. It happens.

He loves me.

What about Harold?

Harold?

- You poor thing.

- Stand aside.

Now, is this the slut that

you've disgraced my daughter for?!

Slut?!

Slut?!

Please, Daddy!

- Daddy, he's not worth it.

- Just sit up.

Can you move, Arthur?

Everybody out!

Out! All of you, out!

God!

He's taking the knife

out of the cheese!

Do you think he wants

some cheese?

No, I think we're going to die!

What's going on here?

Stop that this instant!

Don't screw with me, Burt!

Ladies and gentlemen...

...I'm sorry.

As you probably have surmised by now...

...there will be no wedding.

The bride...

...has had second thoughts...

...and has decided...

...not to marry me.

Most of you know me.

Can you blame her?

I won't be seeing most of you

anymore because...

...I'm going to be...

...poor.

I'll miss you.

Now there's a good...

...chance I should go...

...to the hospital.

This has some iodine on it,

so it might hurt a little.

That hurts, I hate it! Stop it!

- Why did you do that?

- Because I hate an infection!

If you'd have just

let me get...

Look, as long as we're here...

Do you promise to love me...

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