Artists and Models

You can trace the mystery

of ancient history

Through art artists and their models

You can comb through

the Rome Coliseum

In the rear of your nearest museum

There's the Mona Lisa

The tower of Pisa

A cowhand's daughter out in Texas

And there's modern art to see

That makes you wonder

what the heck it's meant to be

On the streets of Montmartre

There's a Frenchy kind of art

That is strictly for the tourists

from the sticks

And those wise Greenwich guys

really open up your eyes

Painting portraits

of their pretty little chicks

So to each creator and imitator

Who daubs and dabbles

with the brushes

To the guys that draw the bunnies

For the Sunday morning funnies

And the brighten up the world today

And to every girl that poses

To every Grandma Moses

We'd like to tip the old beret

The art of artists and their models

Hey, Todd. Rick Todd.

Yes, sir, Mr. Kelly.

Mr. Trim is here for a demonstration.

You ready?

Right away, sir, soon as

Eugene tunrs on the smoke machine.

Hey, Eugene.

Hey, get up.

The boss and Trim are here. Get up.

Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait, wait.

I'm on the third murder.

Looks like the Bat Lady's gonna

blow one of the Rat Man's heads off.

If I end up reading the want ads,

one of your heads will blow off.

Now come on. Get going.

Okay, okay.

Oh, Bat Lady! My Bat Lady!

Rick! Rick!

Got me.

Rick! Rick! Where's Rick?

What's holding you up, Todd?

Starting right away, Mr. Kelly.

All right, get going.

Kelly wants to see it work.

tell him to come in here.

Eugie!

Rick! Rick! Rick!

Eugie, boy, you all right?

You need air.

What's the matter, Kelly?

She having trouble with her lungs?

Look, I'll handle the smoke,

and you attach the tube. Come on.

Okay.

- Let her go.

- Okay.

Wait! My Bat Lady!

She's not smoking, she's spitting.

Hey, what's going on here?

Oh, not a thing, Officer.

We're just demonstrating a new sign.

Mr. Kelly, watch it.

I'm sorry.

Hey, Rick, I'm all set...

Rick? Rick.

Ricky-Ricky. Ricky-Ricky.

- Yo, Rick!

- What?

Oh. I'm all set to make your dinner.

How would you like your beans?

Preferably out of the can.

No, I mean, how would you like

to have your beans done?

Why don't you stuff them?

No. broil them, medium-rare,

a little mushroom sauce over them.

Beans. Do you know

why all we got eat is beans?

'Cause every time I find a job,

you lose it.

Bat Lady.

You and your crummy comic books.

That's all you ever think about.

No, sometimes I think about girls, too.

I think about girls, too.

That's about all, just think about them.

But can I afford to take them out? No.

You Know, on account of you,

I'm going to be an old maid.

Do you remember why we left

Steubendale and came to New York?

Yeah, because you promised

to marry Ophelia Jackson

- and her father found out...

- No, that wasn't the only reason.

Oh, it was that other girl,

Mabeline Smithers.

- Her brother thought...

- No. Come here. Come here.

We came to New York

so I could make money to study art,

so I could become a famous painter,

so I colud be hung in art galleries,

so I could be hung in museums.

Yeah, and you almost got hung

in Steubendale.

Forget Steubendale.

Try and remember

why you came to New York.

I...

Why'd I come to New York?

I didn't... No. Wait.

Oh, yeah.

That's right.

You were going to be a writer.

You were gonna write children's books

about Freddie the Field Mouse,

Goosey the Goose, right?

What have you done?

Nothing.

Nothing except read comic books.

You also lose our jobs

on account of comic books.

You keep me awake every night

with your bad dreams

on account of comic books.

You know I've decided to do, pal?

- Be pals with me?

- Yeah, we'll be pallies.

I'm gonna write you a letter

at least once every month.

- And I'll answer you.

- Good. Now go get supper.

Write to me?

Look, junior,

a divorce is the only way out.

We've been together too long.

Ever since we were Tenderfeet

in the Kangaroo Patrol.

You can have the whole apartment,

full custody of the beans

and the Bat Lady.

Okay?

Not so hard.

Thank you.

I hope the bubbles

didn't tickle your nosey.

No, just my nose-tril.

- Your nose-tril?

- Yes, just a little tickle.

Hey, you think you have enough there

if I want a little slug?

Oh, sure, Rick.

I have everything when I'm pretending.

You see, I'm just making believe

that we're both very rich,

wealthy millionaires with money.

And you're a very, very famous artist,

and I'm a very famous writer, see?

And I'm just making believe

that we're not even eating beans,

just a big, juicy steak.

Would you like a piece

of my big, juicy steak?

Oh, no. No, no. I'm up to here.

I think I had too much vichyssoise.

That's the idea, Rick.

You have to pretend.

See? 'Cause when you pretend,

then your dreams come true.

It's just like wishing. Watch.

Damp.

Damp.

Do that once more.

You see, you're not concentrating, Rick.

You must pretend

and concentrate. Watch.

Although you're stuck beans

There's money in your jeans

When you pretend

The wolf that's at your door

Is not there anymore

When you pretend

There's nothing you can't be

Just wish and see

The world's your cup of tea

Some dish, says me

The happiness you find

Is all a state of mind

That's true, my friend

And life is filled with happy endings

When you pretend

You sold me, junior.

Tomorrow I'm gonna pretend

I don't have to tour

the employment agencies, okay?

Oh, that's wonderful.

And I'll make a real hard wish

that we get a big, juicy steak

so you'll have the strength.

Although you're stuck with beans

There's money in your jeans

When you pretend

The wolf that's at your door

Is not there anymore

When you pretend

There's nothing you can't be

Just wish and see

The world's your cup of tea

Some dish, says me

The happiness you find

Is all a state of mind

That's true, my friend

And life is filled with happy endings

When you pretend

You are a riot. You're a real riot.

You expect me to eat that slop?

So don't eat. You're fat enough anyway.

You know what I'm gonna do?

Do you know what I'm gonna do?

I'm gonna take that lousy steak

And I'm gonna throw it out the window.

Oh, good steak.

Oh, Rick, come on out.

We got steak for supper.

Now, why don't you lay off of that stuff?

- Don't you want a piece of steak?

- For last time, no.

Pretend you're eating it all by yourself.

- Okay, if you say so.

- I say so.

No, impossible.

Impossible!

The happiness you find

Is all a state of mind

That's true, my friend

And life is filled with happy endings

When you pretend

Oh, pardon me.

Out of the wild blue-yellow yonder,

with tail full of jet propulsion,

comes Vincent, Vincent the Vulture.

Vincent the Vulture,

defender of truth and liberty

and member of Audubon Society.

He is half-boy, half-man, half-bird,

with feathers growing out of every pore.

He is flying

to his interplanetary space station,

trying to escape Zuba,

Zuba the Magnificent.

But Vincent is very aware

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