Artists and Models Page #8

Just a minute, honey.

There'll be a slight intermission,

Mrs. Curtis.

What...

Oh, hello, darling.

Hi.

- Where's Eugene?

- Eugene?

I thought I heard you

talking to someone.

Eugene. Oh, well,

he's taking off his clothes,

and he's taking a shower.

Oh, well, ask him

what he's going to wear tonight.

Tell him the Bat Lady wants to know

so she can recognise him.

Okay. I'll ask him.

- Hello, Abigail.

- Eugene! You're taking a bath.

Oh, yeah, 'cause I'm gonna wear

my new costume.

It's the first time

I ever had my own head.

- How is that, my own head?

- Oh, no, you're taking a bath right now.

Fine, Abigail, but don't rush me.

I'll take a bath.

Eugene, Abby wants to know

what you're gonna wear tonight.

Oh, I'm going to wear my...

Who's he talking to?

Yes, who was he talking to?

All right. I'll tell her.

Well, what did he say, dear?

Well, he's gonna wear

his Freddie Field Mouse costume.

Oh, why don't you

let me talk to Eugene?

Oh, no, Abigail. He's taking a shower.

You'll get all... You'll get all wet.

He's taking a shower. You'll get all wet.

You got dry in a hurry, didn't you?

There's no one in there.

Just my mother, see?

It's a surprise.

She's from Steubendale, remember?

Oh, mother.

- Mother?

- Well, I can explain this, Abby.

Not to me, You can't.

Watch out for the bit

with the suntan oil, Mother.

Mother?

Entertain Mrs. Curtis

while I talk with Abigail.

Entertain her?

Wow! Here we are.

You just sit right there.

No, not that way. Do your

Boy Scout bird calls or something.

What bird call are you particularly

interested in, Mrs. Curtis?

Do you know the Hungarian kiwi?

The Hungarian kiwi?

Oh, you mean the Hungarian peewee.

In Hungary, we don't have peewees.

We only have kiwis.

Oh, in Hungary,

you don't have peewees?

You only have kiwis.

You don't know the Hungarian kiwi?

No, I don't know the Hungarian kiwi.

The Hungarian peewee, I know.

- Good.

- Good.

To tell you the truth,

I mostly know the Steubendale bird,

like, the pizza bird that goes...

She's gotta be a phony, Mr. Samuels.

Right off the bat, she turns on

her heater and goes overboard

to try to get me to go to her place.

I played along

till I had a chance to call you.

Very smart, Todd.

If she didn't show any interest

in Eugene,

she doesn't know he has the formula.

Now, keep playing along.

There may be others with her

and we can get them all.

Here's what you do.

Tonight after

the Artists and Models Ball...

Well, what if Mrs. Curtis

doesn't want to go to the ball?

What?

Well, I can't do that, Mr. Samuels.

I'm in love with another girl.

It's my duty

to the United States of America?

Are you sure?

If I'd known that, I'd have joined the FBI

instead of the Kangaroo Patrol.

Okay. Oh, boy.

What are you doing,

bucking for a nosebleed or something?

I can't keep this dickey down, Ricky.

Anybody ever tell you

that dickeys went out with horse cars?

If you're going to rent, why didn't you

rent a modern dress shirt,

something, like, about 1922?

There. That ought to do it.

Thank you very...

Thank you very much, Rick.

I gotta look real nice,

'cause I'm gonna meet the Bat Lady

for the first time tonight.

You know, if she's wearing a bustle,

you two are gonna make

a dandy-looking pair.

- Yeah.

- There.

There.

What am I gonna do, Rick?

If the Bat Lady feels like kissing me,

every time she'll come near me,

she'll get an uppercut.

I got an idea. I got an idea.

Why don't you button the dickey

on the top of the shorts here? See?

Well, let me do it. You can't get to it.

- Go ahead.

- Wait a minute.

Here? This button, huh?

Yeah, put it right there.

That'll hold everything down.

All right.

Oh, yeah. Hey, thanks, Rick.

Good. Now hurry up.

We're going to be late.

- Hurry up.

- All right.

I'll be right there,

as soon as I put my shoes on.

I wonder if I can walk at all with this.

Something's crooked.

I think something's... Wait, this way.

Over there. That's it.

Something's pulling me. Yeah.

I'll be right there, Rick.

Hey, Bessie, you were great.

It's just the numerology.

Hurry up, girls. Let's go. Step on it.

"Artists and Models" number.

Todd, Fullstack, you're on.

- And we'll be pals forever?

- Pals forever.

- Scout's honour?

- Scout's honour.

- Kangaroo Patrol.

- Kangaroo Patrol.

Pouches forever.

- Hippity-hop, hippity-hop, kangaroo.

- Hippity-hop, hippity-hop, kangaroo.

- Hippity-hop, hippity-hop, kangaroo.

- Hippity-hop, hippity-hop, kangaroo.

- Hippity-hop, hippity-hop, kangaroo.

- Hippity-hop, hippity-hop, kangaroo.

- K-A-N-G-A-R-O-O!

- K-A-N-G-A-R-O-O!

- Are you ready?

- In a minute.

All you very lovely ladies

In your very fancy frocks

And you fellas with the palettes

In your most artistic smocks

Use your thumb to get perspective

Of a world that's drab and grey

Add a lot of colour

Colour

And frame it just that way

You can trace the mystery

of ancient history

Through art of artists and their models

Models

You can comb through

the Rome Coliseum

In the rear of your nearest museum

Museum

There's the Mona Lisa

The Tower of Pisa

A cowhand's daughter out in Texas

Texas

And there's modern art to see

That makes you wonder

what the heck it's meant to be

On the streets of Montmartre

There's a Frenchy kind of art

That is strictly for the tourists

from the sticks

And those wise Greenwich guys

really open up your eyes

Painting portraits

of their pretty little chicks

Pretty little chicks

So to each creator and imitator

Who daubs and dabbles

with the brushes

To the guys that draw the bunnies

For the Sunday morning funnies

And brighten up the world today

And to every girl that poses

And to every Grandma Moses

We'd like to tip the old beret

Let me warn you, stranger

That red means danger

Beware of any gal that wears it

I agree she may be very gracious

But you'll find

that she's kind of flirtatious

Oh, I'd like to pilot a gal in violet

A shrinking violet is my pleasure

Hear my heart go whoop-de-doo

To any baby dressed in periwinkle blue

If a girl's wearing lime

You can squeeze her every time

For a lime is something

anyone can squeeze

Any gal wearing green

makes a most enchanting queen

She's the kind of queen

who always aims to please

Oh, I'm really sold on a gal with gold on

If I could find her, what a treasure

To a gal that's wearing yellow

I'm a very mellow fellow

This shade of blue is just my kind

You will never hear me knocking

any pink that's really shocking

I think we're going colourblind

You can trace the mystery

of ancient history

Through art of artists and their models

You can comb through

the Rome Coliseum

In the rear of your nearest museum

There's the Mona Lisa

The Tower of Pisa

The cowhand's daughter out in Texas

And there's modern art to see

That makes you wonder

what the heck it's meant to be

On the streets of Montmartre

There's a Frenchy kind of art

That is strictly for the tourists

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